My Story

[Guest Anjyl]

Here's my story, I'm a straight and fairly average 21 year old male guy but at several points when I was around 14 I used to wear women's clothes and makeup occaisionally around the house. I completely forgot about it for several years but when I met this beautiful transsexual woman and saw just how pretty she was it reminded me of how I felt when I did it briefly and how fun it was. Now I wanna do it again but I'm a fairly big guy and can't, it sorta makes me sad, but I dunno. I guess it makes me CD but I don't know what as a straight guy being attracted to transsexual women would be.

[Guest Anjyl]

Cool, so no one's got any ideas or any help or any thoughts not what I expected but okay

[Guest CharlieRose]

Woah, how did this happen? I wouldn't have expected it, either. There are four or five girls here who always post at least once in *everything*. (You know who you are, gals )

I'll try and fill their role.

They'd probably say, well, no one is too old or too tall or too big to transition, so you're probably not too big to dress. It's about what makes you feel good and being happy.

That would make you along the lines of a crossdresser, I suppose, if you consider yourself a guy who likes wearing girl's clothes, but you can pick whatever word you like to describe yourself.

When being attracted to trans people is brought up, usually people would describe themselves as pansexual, ie. liking male, female and everything in between. But you're not that... I wouldn't say liking trans women doesn't make you straight, just a different kind of straight. Like trans women themselves. I wouldn't say they're not women, they're just a different kind of woman. Others might say it just makes you open minded and not shallow.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Anjyl,

Sweetie, please do not freak when you don't get a response right away One has to remember that there are many things going on in everyone's life so that they may not immediately respond. In the forums, it is typical to take days to get a response. So relax hon, your questions are valid and deserve answers.

Sweetheart, you do not have to worry about labels. Just be who you are. There are many women here and in the world that consider themselves large. That does not make you any less feminine. It is actually OK to feel completely male and identify as male and still crossdress

Just remember hon, you don't have to fit into any sterotype. Just know that you are OK and you are welcome here.

Love

Brenda

Oh, just a thought, you may want to consider joining Laura's chat too. There, it is all real-time!!

[Sally]

Oh my goodness Anjyl!

This is the first I have seen of this post - I'm one of the five that Charlie mentioned - the site's biggest busybody and I have the posts count to prove it.

Now that I know you are here, I would like to invite you to come into the members lounge and have some cookies and cocoa while we chat.

First I am a large woman, that's being polite I am 6'4" and over 340 pounds and yet everyone tells me that I pas rather easily and I'm 58 and just one month on hormones so too big, too old - nonesense!

Where there is life there is hope.

As to being attracted to trans-woman and does that make you gay - of course not!

You are attracted not just to the look but the personalities of these ladies and personality-wise they are women we all are, that was from long before we began to transition.

You are attracted to women who have a little something extra going for them - and that is true of trans ladies because you have to have a little something extra to make it through transitioning - a well developed sense of self.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Here's my story, I'm a straight and fairly average 21 year old male guy but at several points when I was around 14 I used to wear women's clothes and makeup occaisionally around the house. I completely forgot about it for several years but when I met this beautiful transsexual woman and saw just how pretty she was it reminded me of how I felt when I did it briefly and how fun it was. Now I wanna do it again but I'm a fairly big guy and can't, it sorta makes me sad, but I dunno. I guess it makes me CD but I don't know what as a straight guy being attracted to transsexual women would be.

Not sure if I am one of the 5 but if not I will stick my nose in anyway

Anjyl sweety

   At 6' 2" and 240 to 250  I am not the most petite woman on the planet but I am still succeeding in making my transition work well enough. I would suggest that you find a gender therapist and work out your feelings, it seems to me that there might be more to it than you are thinking right now because your story sounds so similar to the way I felt. That is before my system got hold of me and put me in the transition or  die mode.

One rule of thumb is that if want you are and what you feel works for you then it is right for you. 

[Guest Anjyl]

Thanks for the responses everyone,

It's nice to have people who understand this sort of thing, right now the only person I've ever told this whole story/situation to is one of my friends Fantasia, she's a drag performer and really understands what I'm talking about. She says its okay that you're straight but feel certain ways about certain things but if you find that you eventually lean towards a certain thing remember to never limit yourself to labels.

A question that has been bothering me though is, as a straight male, is wanting to "be" with another man for one night make me gay or bi ??

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Thanks for the responses everyone,

It's nice to have people who understand this sort of thing, right now the only person I've ever told this whole story/situation to is one of my friends Fantasia, she's a drag performer and really understands what I'm talking about. She says its okay that you're straight but feel certain ways about certain things but if you find that you eventually lean towards a certain thing remember to never limit yourself to labels.

A question that has been bothering me though is, as a straight male, is wanting to "be" with another man for one night make me gay or bi ??

Sweetie,

I have made love to men too, but I do not consider myself gay or bi. My frequency with men is much much lower than my frequency with women. Wanting to be with this person you mentioned does not make you anything!! Don't worry about it!! Being with someone who interests you is all that matters. All that is really happening is that you are exploring your sexuality... thats all

Love

Brenda

[Guest Anjyl]

I guess that's what I thought too but I know a lot of people won't see it that way, I also don't know how to approach her about it.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hey Anjyl

Welcome to the playground, soo nice to meet you.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Jo-I-Dunno]

Thanks for the responses everyone,

It's nice to have people who understand this sort of thing, right now the only person I've ever told this whole story/situation to is one of my friends Fantasia, she's a drag performer and really understands what I'm talking about. She says its okay that you're straight but feel certain ways about certain things but if you find that you eventually lean towards a certain thing remember to never limit yourself to labels.

A question that has been bothering me though is, as a straight male, is wanting to "be" with another man for one night make me gay or bi ??

I don't think sexual identities are necessarily always ingrained in us. I don't think anyone's straight or gay or anything. People just have different tendencies. If your male and tend to want to be with females, we attach the term straight to you; but the occasional interest in males contradicts that in most peoples' eyes. Not in mine. They're all just tendencies; why can't we deviate a little? FORGET LABELS!

Me? Am I a transsexual? A transgenderist? Autogynephile? Right now I'm a genetic male living my life as a male, but seriously considering living it as a female. If I wake up tomorrow and all that's changed, I'm still me. My identity isn't part of a label.

There are no universal rules connecting tendencies with sexual or gender identities. Does your interest in being with another man for a night make you gay or bi? That depends on how you define gay and bi is all. If it helps, think about it as being gay for a night, then straight the rest of the time. Just open up to fluidity.

What you should worry about more is not what label you fall under, but how it might affect your life.

[Guest A.S.]

First of all, Welcome to the site. Hope you find it enjoyable here.

To answer your post, this is first post I seen that come across to show respect. You got my respect here. No one are too big or too small to cross-dress and just be who you want to be. I know i need to follow my own advices, lol. It is not "gay" to date trans-women (as what Sally just posted on this). It is ok to be a male who love to cross-dress in women clothes and call yourself a male. Just be happy who you are.

I am FTM cross-dresser for years and I am still learning about CD and trans gender lifestyles.

[Guest DisDwarf]

In my eyes (I'm a female in a male body) trans women are women so loving them doesn't make you different than any other straight guy. It's just like some guys go after redheads!

When you think about sexual orientation, I think it's important to distinguish between sexual orientation and sexual behaviour: sexual orientation is a a personal identity (how you see yourself) and a social identity (what you say you are and what other people perceive you as being) while sexual behaviour is what you actually do! Your personal and social identities and your behaviour need not fit each other (for example, gays who are under persecution may present themselves as straight.. and someone may identify as bisexual and yet be asexual in behaviour).

It's also important to know that attraction has many components, you are attracted to people with particular mindsets/psychology and also to people with particular body characteristics. Oftentimes the attraction to a particular person's mind may make you not care how their body looks like.

I once read this story somewhere: a lesbian fell in love with a person who had a male body and started a relationship... during which that person realized she was a female trapped in a male body so transitioned to a female body. Did the lesbian woman became bisexual or straight when she fell in love with that person? In my eyes she remained a lesbian, as she loved a person with a female mind, so strongly she loved her that she didn't care how her body looked like!