What Should I Do ??

[Guest Anjyl]

I know that some of you have said that even bigger girls can wear some of the sexier women's clothes and lingerie, but I know that I can't for several reasons, I know there's websites that sell these kinds of sexy clothes but I don't have a credit card or paypal or anything so I'm unable to order them, and I know that I could probably find stuff in my town but its relatively small, they may not have what I'm looking for and I'm slightly embarrassed about buying them.

What should I do ??

[Paula ult]

Hi Anjyl, i do not know if there are Walmart stores where you are but they have a nice selection of plus sizes, i know cause i am a big woman. You can order from them online at this address.

http://Walmart.com

this size chart converter might help too

http://www.odgirl.com/page--clothing-size-...thingChart.html

Hope this helps

Paula

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Anjyl hon,

I have heard people post about the positive experience they have had going to the Salvation Army to get clothes. How they apparantly work is that they charge clothes by the pound. So one can go into the store an anonymously get the clothes that they are interested in and put them in a bag. The clerk simply weighs the bag and gives the price. No one has to see what you are buying.

With that I will add. I have been buying women's clothing for years at stores. Even there, the clerks don't even give a second look. They just ring my dresses, stockings, makeup, shoes, etc right through the barcode reader and tell me what the final price is. They also ask if I have a store card and if not would I like one. The whole point of what I am saying is that buying clothes is a snap. The first time buying a dress is totally stressful. You wonder what you are going to say if anyone comments why you are buying a dress. You could always say that it is a present if you are ever asked.

I will tell you this... I have never been questioned. I realize now that no one really cares what I buy. So I just get what I want and have left my fear long behind

Shopping is so much easier than you realize!!!

Small items like nylons, makeup, underwear are usually sold in grocerie stores. So many times, I have gone to the supermarket to get paper towels, veggies, mac and cheese, nail polish, washing detergent, pantyhose, sponges, scrunchies.... get the picture?

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest Robin Winter]

mastercard and visa both have "gift cards" that work exactly like a credit card. That's what I use for online purchases

[Guest Anjyl]

Ya, I walk by the clothes in Wal-Mart sometimes going, that looks nice but would it actually fit. Therein lies another problem, it's really hard to gauge size properly even with a chart, so it would involve trying things on and I could never do that I could never work up the nerve to buy it either. It's really touch and go with me, I love dressing but at the same time there's just so much stopping me from doing it.

[Guest rachael1]

I know what you mean as it is hard to build up the courage to try on dresses and other items of women's clothes and then buy them.

You can build up to this by buying some smaller items first such as makeup and when you get brave enough go for it.

In the meantime just grab some clothes off the rack that you like that you think is roughly your size and take them home to try them on. If they don't fit, you can bring them back to exchange for clothes that do. You will need to check what the return policies are first beforehand.

Brenda is right that the sales people don't care what you buy just as long as you are spending cash in their store.

The only barrier you have here is your own mind.

On the way home from work today I stopped and bought some eyeshadow, lipgloss and nail polish and the girl at the counter never blinked an eye.

It probably never even crossed her mind that I was buying these items for myself and if it did she didn't care as she gave me a lovely smile and wished me a nice day.

Rachael

[Guest ChloëC]

About buying in stores, I would guess that the salespeople that work on commission would be extremely helpful. You can ask if there are any that do, and stay with them. I suspect they would never do anything to turn away a sale.

Also, this is sort of a toss-up, but if you're worried about the salespeople, buy at a busier time, they don't have time to talk or talk to you as you're looking. But of course busy means you're now in line and customers can be just as chatty. You could try to time it at the end of busy rush, where the customers are lessening and the salespeople just want a moment breather, but that is difficult to time.

I bought a top once (for me!) at a middling clothing store in a strange town. I was, of course, nervous as anything. Funny thing is, I bought nightwear for my wife in another store and was as calm as anything. Neither place asked what it was for. It was all me, not them.

Chloë

[Guest Anjyl]

I'm concerned that as a 21 year old guy, I don't exactly look like I'm married so buying things would be rough. I think that my biggest problem is courage, I am really self concious and always want to know what people are thinking when they look at me, so if I bought stuff I would be all paranoid as to what they were thinking whether they cared or not. Why does this have to be sooo difficult ?

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi Angyl

I know it's tough, perhaps you could go to a different town to do your shopping. The people in the stores probably won't remember you for long and if your in a town you don't frequently visit you won't have to worry about what they think. You can also say that the item is a gift for a relative just don't try to use that when buying undergarments. You might have to just walk through the womens items several times before you can actually get comfortably enough to purchase anything.

Anything worth having is going to be difficult, that's what makes it worth having.

Just keep working at it and it will become easier. You'll aquire a thick skin in no time.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Margaret]

Anjyl, I can only echo what others have said. I was awkward and ill at ease to start with, but it is so easy now I don't even think about it. Start small and build your confidence up. From my own experience I have never ever had any problems with shop staff. My standby comment is "it's a birthday present for a friend" if I am ever worried. The only time I ever seem to use that funnily enough, is when buying shoes, probably the easiest of female items to buy!!!

Good luck with your shopping.

Margaret

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi again, Anjyl,

I think even some lingerie you can buy in a store if you know how to do it. Let's take the most obvious store around, Victoria's Secret. I think most of the staff actually work on commission, so they want to make a sale.

And if you think about it a moment, an awful lot of the items inside are really gift items. And who better to give a gift item of slightly exotic women's clothing to a woman but a man. So, especially if a store like that is in the mall, scope it out, see if other guys go in. When 1 or 2 are in, go on in, you'll look normal.

Once you've worked up the courage to go, and when a saleswoman comes over (which they will do almost immediately) say, I'm looking for a gift for my girlfriend, but I'm not sure what yet, give me a few minutes.' Find one or two things - sedate, not really intimate, like a teddy, a top, that sort of normal thing - that you may want. Glance all around the store, like you're totally undecided.

When they come back or you are ready, you can say in effect, 'Can you suggest something?' They'll no doubt ask for things like size, appearance. Say something like 2 inches shorter than me, maybe 20 pounds lighter. Your 'girlfriend' does not have look like them or super thin models, most really (yes!) don't. Oh, and actually blush a lot. Stumble over your words. The sales staff do like helping, especially clueless men.

Do have an idea of women's sizes and how they relate to you. Try to get them to show you something that would be at top end of your 'girlfriends' size range and your lower end. Depending, it may fit. You can use the term full figured to describe 'her' if you like, that gives you more room. You say in response to their size question - 'Um, full-uh-figured? Is that right?' They'll laugh knowing it's a codeword for slightly heavy.

Oh, and say very distinctly, 'Can she bring it back, if she doesn't like it?'

See, easy as pie, (like maybe the 20th or so time, but till then, yes, it can be scary!!!)

First times are always an adventure, but it can be done. Good luck!

Chloë

ps the above may also work in Penney's, just tone it down a little. Sleepwear and tops you're really safe with, and once you're comfortable, go from there.

[Guest Kayliegh]

Hello Anjyl,

I, too, have been buying clothing, jewelry and makeup without anyone saying a word at the register. Occasionally, I’ll get “Would you like a gift receipt?” – I just tell them, no, these are for me!

Hugs! - Kayleigh

[Guest Anjyl]

Well after all the stress, after all the worrying, after everything I've gone through I managed to do it. I managed to work up my courage to get a nice collection of makeup, some stockings, and this little thing:

What do you think ??

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

OOOOO now that is uber cute

[Guest Sina]

Anjyl,

I totally understand about being embarrassed buying clothes, lingerie, make-up, etc. One of the ways I have gotten around it is to go to the self-check checkout counters. In my area both Wal-mart and Target have them. I love to browse the lingerie sections of both these stores and I always feel secure in the fact that if I want to buy something I don't have to face a checker. Also, It gets easier with practice.

Lov ya'

Sina

[Guest Rebecca Quentin]

Nice underwear. I also like my undies with little cute bows.

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Anjyl,

Good for you! That is wonderful. And those items look darling. Reminds me of my younger days and buying attractive lingerie. (yes, I have some things with little bows on them, light blue in this case). Now, I'm just looking for nice comfortable clothes. Ah, to be young again.

Chloë

[Guest Anjyl]

I know they're totally cute, I love em to death, and I went out again today and picked up some nice dresses and other awesome things, even a pretty wig and all that stuff to make it so great for me to dress with. And since coming to terms with my bisexuality guess who I modelled all of these hot new items for, for my new boyfriend.

[Guest Margaret]

Oh my god, we've turned the poor soul into a shopaholic. Well done Anjyl.

Margaret

[Guest jaymie]

OMG girl! That is such a cute bra and panty set! I'm jealous! Now I want to go buy some new panties too! I definietley am a shopaholic..but hey what girl can't use a new pair of cute undies? Congrats on hitting the stores and doing some shopping...it is a little nerve racking at first but it gets easier...

Hugs

Jaymie