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Helllo From Erikka


Guest erikka2046

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Guest erikka2046

Hello everyone! Its amazing to come across this site as I always think I am by myself and many people seems don't understand me at all. I am so glad to come here and I know I am not alone....

I started feeling I am not the same as other people since I was a little kid, why I didn't like to play with boys, like to play with girls, chose many things and preferences suppose to be for girl without a heart beat......but there was no choice at that time but to live and grown up as a male. However, a girl is a girl and there is no way to supress it permanently. This girl eventually found her way and woke up after thirty something years in a full blown.

I started transition a few months ago and my life feels much more calmer, comforting with my increasing femininity. I would let my transition go slowly, hopefully to start hrt this coming spring. Seeing my psychologist seems very good as he helps me to think a lot in many perspective and if I am doing the right thing in the right direction.

Fortunately, my girl friend is quite comfortable to see my changes this last few months. Although she knows I am seeing a pschologist but I have not told her the big thing yet. Her acceptance of my gradual changes makes me lot more confident to tell her very soon. She actually shopped with me for my first girl's boot the other day! Small step seems like a big one for me now...and love you all ;) !

Erikka

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Guest Donna Jean

Hello, Erikka!

Welcome to the Playground, Honey!

How about some nice hot coco and some of Sally's cookies to take the edge off?

Just sit over her and get comfy!

It's a hard existence for many of us and by being here together we can help hold each other up and give love and support!

And we always say that the best way to transition is "Baby steps"...For the most part, that makes it all go smoother!

So, get comfortable and read all that you can here...you'll meet lots of incredible people and make lots of friends!

It's so nice to have you!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

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Guest ~Brenda~

Welcome Erikka!

It is so wonderful that you are here now. I am glad to see that you are building confidence!!!

Post to the forums hon!! Just so that you know... your girlfriend would be welcome here too if she wanted to talk with us to help better understand what you are going through :) There is an SO forum for people who are family or significant others of whose who are transgendered.

Love

Brenda

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  • Admin

Erikka, I would like to join the chorus and welcome you to Laura's.

This is a wonderful site full of supportive and caring members who look after each other.

I know you will find friends here. Actually, you already have! :)

Please do look around the forums, post your questions or responses to other's questions,

and have fun.

We are a moderated site so we keep all the looky loo's away. After five posts you can send private

messages to other members.

See you around the site, Erikka.

HUGGSS

Carolyn Marie

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Guest Amanda joan

Hello Erikka,

I am glad you have joined us here. We are alway happy to welcome a new sister into this wonderful community.

Tell us your story. We will be happy to help you on your journey.

I am also looking foreword to starting HRT in the Spring. I am now working on growing my hair long and on feminizing my voice. I have started sharing my real self with family and friends. It is a very hard thing to do. Being honest with your Girlfriend is very important. You will be suprised at how well many people will take your news but, it is also very normal for people who love you to have negative responses. It is because they need time for this kind of news to sink in.

You seem to already have a good handle on what is here so continue to enjoy.

Peace & Love Amanda Joan

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Hi Erikka,

It is a wonderful feeling to know that you are not alone and then to find out that "those people" are really nice is even better.

This is a wondrous journey so do't rush, take your time and enjoy all of the changes as you watch the facade that you had spent so long building crumble away and like a butterfly from its chrysalis emerge as the beautiful woman that you are.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest erikka2046

Thank you so much for everyone's lovely and warm welcome! I am so delighted here and looking forward to talk and share wilth you all :D

Luv

Erikka

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    • Nonexistent
      I have the same problem as you, my face is the main reason why I get misgendered I'm pretty sure. I think it's mostly up to genetics how your face will look (T can help, but still genetics will determine how you end up). You can't change your facial structure really, you can get facial masculinization surgery but it's expensive so not an option for most unless you're rich lol.    Experimentally (I haven't done it but want to), you could see if any plastic surgeons around you will give you Kybella in your cheeks. It is an injection that removes fat, and is usually used underneath the chin/on the neck below the jawline, but some may use it off-label on the face. The only potential problem with this is that if your face would naturally thin out at an older age, it could thin out extra and make you look older (though I'm not certain on this). Another option is to get filler in your jaw/chin, which would make your jawline look more square and your face more masculine. I want jaw filler but I'm poor lol, it only lasts one year up to a few years depending on what kind you get, so it would have to be done every so often and can get expensive. I did get chin filler once, only 2 small vials so it didn't make that big of a difference. I would recommend going for the jaw if you can only choose 1, I wish I had done that.   Those are the only options I know of that will bring legitimate noticeable changes.
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Blake!! We are happy that you found us!!
    • Mmindy
      Good evening Blake.   Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums.   Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you.    Trans men and trans women each have their own struggles for sure, but I agree, it can be a hard time to be a non-passing trans guy. There is no specific "man clothes" that only men wear. People could just think I'm butch (which sucks to think about, if people think I'm a lesbian when I'm a dude!!). I mean I would feel better if I got gendered correctly even if I don't fully pass, it would maybe raise my confidence to think maybe I do pass well lol! Instead I'm just reminded I don't.   Though I may just focus on the times I don't pass and ignore the times that I do. Because I rarely remember getting gendered correctly, but I hone in on the times that I don't. 
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you, I'm glad to be here. :)   I have been in therapy for 9 years but still can't seem to accept myself. I think it has to do with growing up trans in a world that hates us, especially in the south. I mean I was discriminated against by adults and ostracized as a kid/teen due to being trans. My family is accepting, but the rest of the world is not. I realize now a lot of people are accepting (even unexpectedly, like my partner's conservative republican Trump-loving parents lol), but it feels like my brain is still in survival mode every time I exit the door. I am a very fearful person.   My body still may change over time, but it feels like I haven't met the same 'quota' (don't know the right word) that a majority of other trans guys have on far less time on T. Most trans guys pass easily 1-3yrs on T, I'm double that and still don't pass well except my voice.
    • Nonexistent
      Thank you. I am just used to seeing trans guys who pass at like... 6 months to 1 year, at the most 3 years. And I just don't meet the mark, all the way at 6 years. It is possible with time I will masculinize more, but it's frustrating when I'm "behind" and may never catch up. It threatens my mental health mostly, possibly my physical health if I'm visibly trans (though I don't ever go out alone). 
    • Adrianna Danielle
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    • Nonexistent
      Yeah, I am grieving the man I "should" have been. He will never exist, especially not in my youth. But I don't know how to healthily go about it instead of fixating on the life that could have been.
    • EasyE
    • VickySGV
      Going to the conventions has been one of my ways to deal with this stuff. 
    • Nonexistent
      Sorry it took me a while to respond!    I would like to get to know you. :) I only have mental disabilities. Schizoaffective disorder, depression, and anxiety. The last two are severe and very treatment-resistant. I did have physical problems for some time, but it was caused by an antipsychotic medication (Invega). It basically crippled me, muscle weakness/fatigue, basically could barely walk (used mobility devices) and doctors were useless since they didn't suspect the medication I was on! I've finally ditched antipsychotics (hopefully for good, unless my symptoms come back). I usually don't share like this, especially in person, but hey, I'm anonymous. :)   I'm not expecting reciprocation at all btw, these things are personal. There is more to us than disabilities, so tell me about yourself if you still wanna talk!
    • EasyE
      thanks for the insight ... good to know things are being well thought-out ... it is no easy topic for sure, as many of us on here have been wrestling with this stuff for years and decades...
    • Ashley0616
      @KymmieLWOW! He is absolutely horrible! Definitely one of the worst boss's. 
    • KymmieL
      Well the boss is at it again. They misplaced a work order thinking I was the last one who had it, yesterday morning. I know where it is. Last thing I did with it was put it back on the counter. He accused me a couple times of having it last and put it somewhere. Come to find out, the other boss (his wife) had taken it. she put the work order paper in the recycle box.   Has he apologized about the accusations. He!! no. I am waiting for hadies to get frost bit.   So that was my morning.  But it is finally warming up here. currently 63 and windy.   Hugs, Kymmie
    • MAN8791
      I am gender fluid, leaning heavily towards trans masc. My eldest is male and despite all the "stuff" we deal with with him (autism, speech delay, etc) I found him to be easy to raise. When my middle kid (female) was born, literally the first words out of my mouth were "I don't know how to raise a girl!" And I really felt I didn't know. She showed me. She's still showing me how to exist as comfortable and completely secure in her gender expression. It is entirely awe inspiring to see all three of them feel so settled in their bodies in ways that I never, ever felt or feel to this day.
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