So I Called My Mom Today....

[Guest Robin Winter]

I decided to call my mom today, which is something I rarely do, due to my ridiculous work hours and the nature of the job, both draining me physically and emotionally, and I just don't feel up to talking to her, because she almost never has anything positive to say, and that too is draining.

Anyway, we talked about the usual things, her health (she has fibromyalgia), my sisters, how she never gets to see my daughter, etc. And I don't remember exactly how we got on the topic tonight, but I told her a few weeks ago that I had something I wanted to talk to her about, but I didn't want to do it over the phone, I wanted to do it in person, just her and I. She didn't press me too hard at the time. Oh, yes, now I remember how we got on the topic! My sister is having difficulties getting child support from one of her exes, and she's talking about trying to win custody of her daughter from her other ex (I know it sounds bad, but no, she doesn't sleep around a lot, they were both serious relationships that lasted some time). And that led to her telling me to never let that happen with me and my daughter, to always be there for her, and THAT led to her apologizing for not fighting for custody of us, she felt at the time my father (translate sperm donor) would be a better provider, and she was wrong, and she felt bad. I did my bit to console her and told her I don't resent her for it, I know she felt at the time it was the right thing and that's what matters. She started half crying and saying how much she loved me and would always love me, and I said "please remember you said that", which led to her prodding me to tell her what was going on, and I told her again that it was something I really needed to do in person, and that it was probably the hardest thing I would ever have to tell anyone, and she did her worried mother thing and I started crying, and she said she would always love me unconditionally, and I'd always be her son, to which I replied, are you sure?...

There was more to it than that, of course, I trimmed it up cuz it was a really long conversation.

I was so close to coming out to her, but I really need to do this in person. Now I'm in a panic though, because now I've set it up and I have to go through with it, and I'm scared.

[Guest rachael1]

HI Shilo,

It's natural to be scared about coming out to your mother, when I came out to my wife it was the hardest thing I have ever done.

It is hard to predict how she will react apart form being shell shocked and I hope you both will be okay.

My Mother also has fibromyalgia it is a horrible thing to suffer from she even has trouble opening tin cans.

Good luck.

Love

Rachael

[Guest Robin Winter]

HI Shilo,

It's natural to be scared about coming out to your mother, when I came out to my wife it was the hardest thing I have ever done.

It is hard to predict how she will react apart form being shell shocked and I hope you both will be okay.

My Mother also has fibromyalgia it is a horrible thing to suffer from she even has trouble opening tin cans.

Good luck.

Love

Rachael

Yeah, I told my wife already, a few months ago. I think my mother is going to be easier, but still nervous.

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

Coming out to my Mom was so hard for me and I thought she would take it better than she did. After all she had called me by a girls versions of my name for most of my life as well as finding my clothes stash at sixteen. I'm three years into transition and am legally a female yet she still refers to me as he. I don;t know how long it's going to take for her to fully come around but one day I hope she does.

It doesn't really matter what our mom's think, support us or not. When the bell rings you have to answer it or self destruct. I know I did and I learned real quick. If someone has a problem with what I'm doing it's their problem not mine. I know that coming to that realization was all I needed to carry on and to be able to live MY LIFE as I saw fit to do so.

Just be strong, hold to what you know is true and live. That's all that we need to do to be true to ourselves.

Oh yea I have one of the most severe forms of Fibromaliga and it's a royal pain.

[Guest Kayliegh]

My story is a little different -

I was 14 and my mom said she wanted to talk to me. She said she knew that I "had issues", but she would never tell my father because he would never understand. She died a week later of a cerebral hemorrhage, 10 days before Christmas.

She called me “fem” for a few years before she passed, as did (still do), my brothers and sisters – 30 years later.

If I could have the chance to talk to my mom about me all over again, I would. I think she would understand the most!

Kayleigh

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Coming out to my Mom was so hard for me and I thought she would take it better than she did. After all she had called me by a girls versions of my name for most of my life as well as finding my clothes stash at sixteen. I'm three years into transition and am legally a female yet she still refers to me as he. I don;t know how long it's going to take for her to fully come around but one day I hope she does.

It doesn't really matter what our mom's think, support us or not. When the bell rings you have to answer it or self destruct. I know I did and I learned real quick. If someone has a problem with what I'm doing it's their problem not mine. I know that coming to that realization was all I needed to carry on and to be able to live MY LIFE as I saw fit to do so.

Just be strong, hold to what you know is true and live. That's all that we need to do to be true to ourselves.

Oh yea I have one of the most severe forms of Fibromaliga and it's a royal pain.

Charlene, my mum is on in her 80s and even though she knows I am trans and is accepting but she may never call me Joanna. I have decided that its a battle that is not worth fighting she has known me as her son for 51 years and to ask her to change now (given her other issues) I don't think is fair. I told her simply to complete the list of those who I needed to tell, I had purposely put her at the end of it for a variety of reasons, none of them selfish.