New Here-questioning..

[Guest phxbrising]

Hi all!

I suppose an introduction is warrented.... let's start by saying I"m confused. I wouldn't say I'm transgendered but feel I better fit in the "gender queer" catigory. I'm a GG and most days enjoy it....other days though...very bothered by the way my skin looks and feels.

I was perfectly happy hiding my head in the sand because I didn't feel like I have any answers to the questions swirling around in my mind. My dear wonderful partner expressed a need for transition a little less than a month ago...and that has kind of blown up my ability to ignore my own feelings about gender.

My hubby is M2F. Has been the whole time we've been together. Up until now however s/he had no interest or desire (outwardly) to transition. Recently though it all shifted and now we're on the transition highway. I should mention that I mean no ill will to ANY transitioning individual...my use of "hubby, him, his, s/he" terms have been aproved BY my mate. This is what we're both comfortable with right now. I did read the rules and will be addressing everyone here (hopefully) how they desire to be addressed.

I don't feel like I'm woman enough.

I don't feel like I'm JUST a spouse...

I don't feel like I'm Transgender enough...

I'm just feeling lost.

I'm part of a yahoo group for spouses and I feel uncomfortable there because they've made it clear that transgendered folk are NOT welcome in the spouses area....so I've not mentioned my feelings about my own gender...but then some things have been said that I've taken personally and felt uncomfortable around. I just don't know where I fit.

Sara

[Guest Leigh T]

Hi Sara and welcome to Laura's.

All are welcome here and most are more than happy to help you with any questions you may have. Come in and make yourself at home.

Leigh

[Guest Magan]

Welcome Sara!

You will fit in very nicely here at Laura's. Its great to see your support for your "hubby" as she starts her transition I hope you find some answers for yourself as well!

I have a quick question, is your "hubby" seeing a gender therapist/counselor? And if she is, can you also have a chat with them? And if neither of you are talking to one, I highly recommend it! It’s a great way to sort out some of these feelings we have.

*hugs*

[Guest Robin Winter]

Those are tough feelings to be dealing with. Unlike that yahoo group though, you are *MORE* than welcome here. I guess it's up to each individual to find what fits them best, but my therapist includes gender queer in the Transgender spectrum, and there are SO many shades to that spectrum, not just mtf or ftm. You just be who you are best at being and...

Be good to yourself

*Hugs*

Shi

[Guest Shane_82]

Welcome

~ Shane

[Guest Jean Davis]

Welcome Home Sister

{{{{Big Hugg}}}}

Your more than welcome to stay here with us, and I would be honored to be able to call you my friend or perhaps a sister.

It's just a shame that people can't get over their petty little issues and see how beautiful the human race is in it's entirety.

I'm sure as you read the articles and topics that some of your questions will be answered.

And if you can't find an answer feel free to ask, we are alway happy to help.

There are a lot of great people here and I'm sure you'll have no problem making new friends.

Hope to hear from you soon

LUV

Jean

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

all are welcome here spouses, transitioners it doesnt matter we want to help you find the information you wish and help you feel comfortable

welcome aboard

[Guest Kayliegh]

Hi Sara and welcome!

We all start out not knowing where we’ll end up, and you’re just looking at your possible issue is a great step forward!

Big Hug! - Kayleigh

[Guest ricka]

Hello Sara! Sounds to me that this journey your hubby began you chose to make together and I think that is awesome. The scarey thing is that it is a journey without a roadmap and where you both arrive is an unknown. If it were me I'd be wondering if I would still be desirable and loved as I am by my mate through and after her transition. The thing is that you both need to be giving each other ongoing reassurance and permission to be scared and unsure at the same time. For me marriage is about the committment and love and acceptance between any two human beings and that love endures change.

ricka

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Welcome phxbrising,

First, I want to extend my warm hand to you and welcome you in to Laura's Playground where you can be yourself and always feel welcomed

If I understand you correctly you are a spouse of a transgendered person and also sense that you are transgendered too. Spouses of transgendered people are definitely welcome here and there is even a forum specifically for SO's ot transgendered people (If you go that forum you will see that we also post there ).

So, welcome again and I encourage you to have your husband join Laura's too.

Laura's is all about support and love.

Welcome home hon

Love

Brenda

[Guest A.S.]

Welcome.

[Guest Ryles_D]

It's a shame that the spouse support forum is like that, but I guess they feel safer to vent their anger without the risk of insulting anyone, which can be beneficial. I think if something makes you uncomfortable you should tell them, though. A cisgendered spouse can be sensitive to trans issues and feel insulted by things as well, you don't have to mention your own gender. Either way, I prefer places like Laura's, where the spouses have a safe place to vent their problems but can also get advice and see the point of view of the people who are going through it. I'm on a forum for asexuality, and the sexual partners find it extremely helpful to be able to see the asexuals' points of view as well, which you wouldn't get from a partner-only site.

Welcome, and hopefully anything that you need to work out will be worked out.

[gennee]

Hi Sara and welcome. This is a great site to have many of your questions answered.

Gennee

[Guest Zabrak]

Welcome to the forum.