Another Hidden Memory

[Guest mia 1]

Mom was a tiny woman. Wore a size 51/2 triple AAA shoe.

So when I was about ten yrs. old her shoes fit me fine.

Asked her if I could wear her penny loafers and she said I could.

I wore them for days at a time..and wore them everywhere.

No big deal.penny loafers..androgynous who cares.

But here is the kicker.

I asked her if I could wear her high heels, patent leather and blue suedes.

She said yes but only around the house,,,and she let me wear her jewelry.

That was all hidden and just came to me to day.

So far back in history, nearly no on the forums reading this was born yet.

But it came back to me like it was this afternoon...

Amazing what therapy will do for you....

[Guest angie]

When I was little,about four,my big brother and I would play house like little kids do.

I was always the momma,wore my moms high heels,clomping around the house.

And she was a tiny woman also,all of 4'8".She never cared,figuring it was harmless

kid games.That is until I told her I was a girl,and that brought an end to that.

I find it remarkable the memories that stay with us from such an early age.

Hugs Mia,

Angie

[Guest brenda lee]

Mom was a tiny woman. Wore a size 51/2 triple AAA shoe.

So when I was about ten yrs. old her shoes fit me fine.

Asked her if I could wear her penny loafers and she said I could.

I wore them for days at a time..and wore them everywhere.

No big deal.penny loafers..androgynous who cares.

But here is the kicker.

I asked her if I could wear her high heels, patent leather and blue suedes.

She said yes but only around the house,,,and she let me wear her jewelry.

That was all hidden and just came to me to day.

So far back in history, nearly no on the forums reading this was born yet.

But it came back to me like it was this afternoon...

Amazing what therapy will do for you....

Mia1 , Sweetie , I too have very happy memories of after school , hardly waiting to get home to go into our basement to put on my moms old dresses. OMG how good I remember feeling to just get to be my self. I did not understand why ,it just felt so natural .LOL Brenda Lee

[Carolyn Marie]

Oh, Mia, there have been many memories that have come back to me, too, as

a result of therapy.

Some happy, some sad, some troubling, but all hidden deep in the recesses of

my mind.

The mind, like the heart, is a deep well that needs the light to bring things into

clarity. Therapy shines that light into the shadows.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest rachael1]

Since my awakening a few memories associated with my TG have come back to me. I believe that we suppress these memories as part of the denial process for those of us who have suppressed their true selves.

Therapy must also dredge up these memories.

One of my first memories to resurface was me wearing my little sister's dress up wedding dress. I was only about 8 years old at the time and my father came home and caught me wearing it. He thought it was funny and didn't take it seriously but I was mortified at the time.

Memories are an amazing thing!

Rachael

[Guest ricka]

Fascinating, these early memories of dressing up, of how it _felt_ to dress up. I grew up on a farm with a big barn with a huge hay loft. I kept my clothing stash hidden under the hay. I still remember how sensual it felt to go up in the loft and take off all my clothes---the feel of the rough hay on bare skin, and the contrast when I put on a bra and silky slip. As an adolescent I developed female breasts and loved how they looked and how they felt in a bra. By the time I was able to drive a car I would dress up and go for drives, usually late at night. Amazing, isn't it, coming full circle so many years later.....

ricka

[Guest Donna Jean]

So far back in history, nearly no on the forums reading this was born yet.

But it came back to me like it was this afternoon...

Amazing what therapy will do for you....

Yes, Mia....It is amazing what therapy can do...

I've shed enough tears at therapy by revelations that I thought were gone...now coming to the top like cream on milk...

I also remember the shoes...clomp...clomp....clomp...

The most wonderful sound in the world at the time!

Thanks...

Donna Jean

[TassieTiff]

Suppressed memories of childhood seem to be common....Things that your mind blocks, Maybe out of guilt... And yet significant factors in your Diagnosis and treatment.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Suppressed memories of childhood seem to be common....Things that your mind blocks, Maybe out of guilt... And yet significant factors in your Diagnosis and treatment.

I think that you're on it right there Tiff....

Guilt....The All purpose" messer upper!

I know that was a signifigant factor in a lot of my therapy...and, boy! Did it ever have the door locked!

I went through a lot of clearing out the guilt and until Mia mentioned the shoes, I had forgotten all about it!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest ChloëC]

As I might have posted before, I have exactly the opposite problem. I can remember every embarrassing moment in my life all much too vividly.

I sometimes wish I could make some of them unrecovered. I'd probably stop kicking myself so often.

And practically all of them are about incidents where I hid the fact (and evidence) I didn't do something I probably should have, because I just didn't want to face the questioning of why I did (or didn't) do the original action. My favorite response was to hide things in such a manner that not only would they be found, but they would often 'scream' to be found. My guilt was exceeded by my stupidity which has been exceeded only by my memory.

Such is life. <sigh>

Chloë

[Guest Amy LeBlanc]

Hello All

After reading all your post, it has brought back memories of mine when I was little and how I went into my sisters room and tried on her clothes and used to walk around in them and start acting like a girl and be a girl and start doing girl thins.

I have never had the pleasuer of being caught myslef as I was always careful, but after reading and going to theropy myself, it is amazing how much memories just come flooding in.

Amy