Should I Tell My 24 Yr Old Daughter

[Guest nayomi2438]

It has been a lifetime of hiding until the past 6 years. My wife and I enjoy what we call my comfort level. She is very supportive. I have been reading postings here for a year or more though recently engaged in some dialog and gain confidence each and every day.

My question is: Should I reveal that other side of myself to my daughter. She is married and I have grandson age 2. Hubby is in the military and maybe not so liberal. If something got ugly it could cost me my relationship with my grandson. I believe my relationship with her is strong enough to overcome whatever shock she may or may not experience, but the husband could be an issue.

I wouldn't want her to hide something like this from him but at the same time I have such a strong desire to share.

I just clenched my fist so hard I broke a nail. Gotta go fix that!

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Nayomi hon,

I don't know the dynamics of your relationship with your daughter, but I will tell you this... My eldest daughter is just a little older than your daughter. My eldest daughter was and still is very supportive of me. Coming out to her was the very best thing I have done. Her boyfriend was in the military too, but he is totally cool with me and my coming out has not adversely affected their relationship with each other nor their relationship with me. If anything, they now feel even closer too me.

Love

Brenda

[Guest ChloëC]

Nayomi,

I guess I would sort of broach the subject with my spouse just to get another opinion of someone close. Mostly because one of the first questions your daughter may ask is, Does Mom know? Knowing that there's another accepting adult may remove some of the doubt that can often take center stage in discussions like this

And if you do tell your daughter, would it be possible that her spouse doesn't have to know right away? She may be the best indicator of understanding the right way to approach him.

Hope it works out!

Chloë

[Carolyn Marie]

Nayomi, I agree with Chloe. Involve your wife in the decision-making process.

Perhaps both of you could talk to your daughter together, but of course you have to

go with what your heart tells you is the best method.

I think you will feel like a burden has been lifted if you out to your daughter, especially

given what you said about having a strong desire to share your secret.

I wish you all the best, whatever you choose to do.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest rachael1]

The real question you have to ask yourself is it necessary for your daughter to know?

I don't see the point in telling her otherwise as it could blow up in your face and affect your relationship with your daughter and son in law.

Even if your daughter is accepting can you take this risk especially if her husband doesn't take the news too kindly?

Rachael

[Guest nayomi2438]

Rachael,

I’m leaning towards your advice. I must admit, however, that there is something so comforting and liberating about not having secrets especially from the ones you love most. It's just a question right now. I don’t feel a "need" to tell her but every step I have taken thus far has been a positive experience and this just feels like the next one.

I willingly accept the advice of my sisters here, both pro and con. Thank you.

[Guest rachael1]

I'm relieved to hear that Nayomi.

I know exactly what you mean about the desire to come out to your loved ones as the urge can be quite strong - well at least for me it is.

The main thing stopping me tell anyone else apart from my wife is the anguish and the fears and uncertainty it may cause them. You will probably know if and when you need to tell your daughter but if it isn't necessary for her to be aware of the other you than it is probably wiser not to tell her.

Rachael

[Guest mia 1]

It has been a lifetime of hiding until the past 6 years. My wife and I enjoy what we call my comfort level. She is very supportive. I have been reading postings here for a year or more though recently engaged in some dialog and gain confidence each and every day.

My question is: Should I reveal that other side of myself to my daughter. She is married and I have grandson age 2. Hubby is in the military and maybe not so liberal. If something got ugly it could cost me my relationship with my grandson. I believe my relationship with her is strong enough to overcome whatever shock she may or may not experience, but the husband could be an issue.

I wouldn't want her to hide something like this from him but at the same time I have such a strong desire to share.

I just clenched my fist so hard I broke a nail. Gotta go fix that!

Well I am not sure of all the facts..are you a cross dresser that crosses only in the privacy of your home?

Or do you intend to go out in public?

If you only dress at home and have reached a comfort level with your wife, I would not tell my daughter.

That would be like discussing your sex life with your children.

She doesn't need to know ,and probably doesn't want to.

If however you are going to out yourself in public, then yes you must tell her..so fill us in, are you Ms. Inside or Ms. Inside/Outside.....?

Mia

[Guest nayomi2438]

For 40 plus years I have hidden my life from the world. The past 27 (I've been married 31) I have revealed my crossdressing to my wife in dribs and drabs. I would tell her now much I enjoyed hosiery and then How comfortable women's panties were. Over time I wore skirts, then heels, and now its all the way baby.

My wife has supported my desire to the point she shops for me more than she does for herself. Ocassionally we go out to a particular club that is very accepting and has drag performances where I've even been hit on a couple of times. I actually don't particularly care for male clothing. As a guy I often dress in items made from fabrics that feel light and feminine such as nylon t-shirts under my shirts, sheer socks, pants with liners, or shirts with a high silky/rayon content.

The reason for wanting to tell my daughter is that she visits frequently and that is cutting into my dress up time. Okay, now I need to take a cold shower. Thanks.

[Guest Jess_W]

i would have to ask where does she live, this is because people around my age (im 25) are variously influinecd buy their culture UNLESS they felt outcast or against it from the start (me realizing i was gay and fem from the start made me sort of an outkast)

such as if she lives down here in texas, especially in concervoland (san antonio) or an even worse place she may have been so influined buy the right wing extremists that doing so might just cause somthing, even if she isn't against you persay her hubby might be strongly against you, and so would the surrounding neighbors, which would in turn lead to a peer pressure thing where she would fight with her personal acceptance with you against the un-acceptance of her husband and/or social groups

but either way you know her, how she grew up, who she is, better than anyone, just remember how she was and she probably hasn't changed to much politically or socially sense then, and then you just gotta tell her if you feel comfortable, but if you are afraid of loosing your grand child i wouldn't tell less you decide to come out full time MTF, which as a crossdresser you probably don't have to worry about

[Guest mia 1]

The reason for wanting to tell my daughter is that she visits frequently and that is cutting into my dress up time. Okay, now I need to take a cold shower. Thanks.

Got it..Yes tell her, Not necessarily in dribs and drabs and not shouting it out either..start with the "I like hosiery and soft silky nylon things"..and feel it out and see how she reacts...

Testing the waters,,and then of course there is the son in law...so ah!, ahm! talk to your wife....she will know the situation better than I do....or any of us here...

Hope that helps

Mia