I Want To Be A Girl

[Guest Emily H]

I admit it.

I WANT to be a girl. I am okay with being a boy. But I badly WANT to be a girl.

I have to admit this to myself and make it public before i doubt myself.

~Andrea

[Guest Donna Jean]

I admit it.

I WANT to be a girl. I am okay with being a boy. But I badly WANT to be a girl.

I have to admit this to myself and make it public before i doubt myself.

~Andrea

We hear you, Honey....and we understand.........

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest Emily H]

Hello Andrea,

So, you've admitted it to yourself, as we are witness. Wonderful for you!

Now what's the next step? (I keep asking myself that).

Hugs, Kat

I woke up this morning, and the feeling wasn't there as strongly. I didn't feel a desperation at all to be a girl. I felt just fine with my body, and still do.

But, its still in my mind, I know it would have been more enjoyable to have put on my femme clothes.

~Andrea

[Guest mia 1]

I admit it.

I WANT to be a girl. I am okay with being a boy. But I badly WANT to be a girl.

I have to admit this to myself and make it public before i doubt myself.

~Andrea

Give us some more info.

Who in RL have you talked to?

Obviously friends, not your parents.Yes?

Go talk to your family physician and ask about therapy, specifically gender related therapy.

Go to the library or your computer and research gender dysphoria..

You need to establish a baseline and get some direction from primary research.....

Then your confusion will begin to disappear and you will have a sharper and clearer mind of what

is going on in your life.

Mia

[Guest rachael1]

I woke up this morning, and the feeling wasn't there as strongly. I didn't feel a desperation at all to be a girl. I felt just fine with my body, and still do.

But, its still in my mind, I know it would have been more enjoyable to have put on my femme clothes.

~Andrea

Sometimes these feelings and urges can be almost overpowering and it feels like you are being consumed. You just need to express yourself to relieve some of these tensions such as dressing etc or chatting on the forums. I have taken up sewing as another outlet and have some Rachael time whenever the need starts building up. It is working wonderfully for me and I am able to integrate her better into my life and have gained back a lot of control.

Rachael

[Guest brenda lee]

I admit it.

I WANT to be a girl. I am okay with being a boy. But I badly WANT to be a girl.

I have to admit this to myself and make it public before i doubt myself.

~Andrea

Andrea , Sweetie all of us want to be a girl, so please don't feel alone. We all understand how you fel. LOL Brenda Lee

[Guest jaymie]

I admit it.

I WANT to be a girl. I am okay with being a boy. But I badly WANT to be a girl.

I have to admit this to myself and make it public before i doubt myself.

~Andrea

Andrea, sweetheart, I know how you feel...never forget you are not alone...you have alot of sisters here who share your feelings.

Hugs

Jaymie

[Guest Emily H]

I haven't dressed in a bit. It would be nice but....i haven't felt those really strong, passionate feeling about this in a bit. Its still on my mind but....just barely for now I don't know why.

Maybe a little more than barely, like, I don't' feel like crossdressing so much, but feel more like I so want it to be a real, permanent thing, or at least long term.

So, i guess, to reiterate.

I guess I DO want to be a girl. Still.

The crossdressing? get me down because I have to change back, i feel like its not real, at least before I do it, and there is always that necessity for it all to end and suddenly not be real at all.

[Guest ChloëC]

Andrea,

How I can understand. There have been times, well, I'm dressed, and I want to stay that way for hours, no, days, whatever, for a long time. And then reality bites and I know I can't, and it's depressing, and I can't even go as far as I want, because make-up takes forever to remove every last trace, and I have to be places where it's not a good idea to have people confused. And then I'm back to the normal day to day, and I wonder, why did I do that?

And maybe for a few days, I'll think, you know, it isn't that hard to dress again, but do I want to go through it all? Have to give it up after just a few hours? Maybe I won't, it's just too depressing. And I don't. And I think, well, maybe it's just not a good idea at all. Maybe just stop it, and forget it. Maybe toss the clothes, too. And then, days will go by and I think, well, I guess I really don't want it that bad. I'll just stop. And then, all of a sudden, I want to do it badly, I ache to dress again, and I do it, and it starts all over.

Why? Why this back and forth, why strong and then fade and then strong again? I have no idea. I've never seen this mentioned in any book or journal I've ever come across. Probably no medical name for it at all. But it is there. It's very real.

It's difficult enough to have to deal with the basic desires. And then to have this stress of back and forth, on top of it, can drive one crazy. It took me some time to understand all that I was going through.

Maybe it's the mind trying to deal with this difficult situation - you want something, you know something to be true, but it's almost unattainable right now, so do you go crazy trying to do it part time? Do you give it up completely? How can you be happy when the one thing that makes you happy now, when it ends, makes you unhappy?

These are bumps on the road, every life has bumps, some are just harder than others. You know what you want, you know what you are. I eventually came to an accommodation with myself. This is what I am, and will be. I understand what I want, and I now know what makes me happy. Maybe it's for only a few minutes, maybe for a day. I'll enjoy it when and while I can.

For you, you have to find your own answer. Talk to a professional, think about where you are going and what makes you happy. If transitioning is what you really want and feel, a therapist agrees, and you are ready to face all the obstacles that others have faced, then just take it in steps.

You're only human, like the rest of us, courage and fear, strength and cold feet, bravery and doubt. As others have said, you're not alone, there are lots of us who share your feelings. And we're here to listen and share and care.

Hugs

Chloë

[Guest Emily H]

I would jump right on the offer to be changed to a girl, physically.

BUT...

All of my doubts... I think EVERYTHING I doubt...coems from fear of losing everyone I love, and not fulfilling my other life dreams in the world.

BTW, fully dressed right now, have been for a couple hours...ABSOLUTELY want it to stay this way....

~Andrea