"why?"

[Guest AlexanderG]

I've been talking and thinking so much, and now and then I feel I come up with something that actually makes sense. This one I'd like to share - put on your philosophical cap for this. I hope it's clear as it is in my mind now.

"What makes a man a man? It's not that he likes football and cars, because not all men do that. It's not that he's macho and butch, because many men are not that. Those are all stereotypes, not essentials. An effeminate man who'll still say he's a man is a man, period.

What makes a man a man is something intangible, undefinable. Ask a man why he believes that he is a man and he will, unless he takes the question at a superficial level and refers to his body, fail to come up with a conclusive answer. He simply knows himself to be a man. Probably never had any second thoughts about it.

~

Why would I want to be a man?

If I would find a clear cut & definite answer to that question it would be an answer that negated the veracity of the wish. That is, if I could define the reason, that would mean the reason is tangible - whereas gender, identity, and gender identity are indeed intangible. All preliminary answers are superficial and non-essential;

'because I want to be able to stand to pee'

'because I hate menstruating'

'because I don't want to worry about becoming pregnant'

'because I prefer men's clothes'

'because I like manly stuff, like football and cars - not girly stuff like gossip and make-up'

'because I want to be stronger and feel safer'

All of these define, refer to stereotypes, minor things; no gender therapist will recommend a sex change based on these. Though a female-to-male (FTM) transsexual would welcome the solutions to these 'problems' a sex change would offer there is something more to it. And it is the 'something more' which is the core, and it is the core which is undefinable."

[Guest Anna_Banana]

As I am slowly learning, nothing externally (aka tangible) seems to make a man a man or a woman a woman. I am beginning to see different facets of the gender continuum--and with such variation from one person to the next--breaking the traditional idea of a binary system (i.e. a man is a man because he likes women, eats meat, and drives fast cars). If you wanted to look at it from my esoteric standpoint, I'd say that a man is a man because his basic energy (or soul, if it do ya) is masculine. It doesn't matter if this man watches football or ice skating, dresses in suit and tie or blouse and skirt, etc. ad nauseum. Many crossdressers, no doubt on this site even, would say that despite how they dress, they still consider themselves men (or women for the other folks).

But this isn't to say that energy doesn't fluctuate either. As a former student of Chinese acupuncture (a very brief tenure at that), I've learned that energy, like electricity for instance, does not wish to stagnate. It must flow. This validates the feelings of the androgynous community who can't pin themselves into one gender for very long.For them, living a binary lifestyle (either as solely male or solely female) would be devastating. Others of us find that a more polarized self is more enlightening. But in the end, we'll all be subject to the waxing and waning of energy. I've seen plenty of women outclass men at football games with their spirit and then the next day go back to being stereotypical women. We all will have masculine and feminine moments that are perfectly natural

.Anna