I Am Not A Lesbian!

[Guest Marco]

well, i told some of my friends, they took it well enough, but they're convinced that i'm a lesbian. i tried telling them[harshly and at a loud volume] that in fact i'm not a lesbian but they refuse to believe me.

they think that since i have "girl parts" i will never be a straight male, i will always be a lesbian in their eyes . did anybody have the same problem, or know how i could convince them that i'm straight?

[Guest Rika-chama]

I came out as a lesbian first to my parents and then as trans. They all think I want to be a boy because I am a lesbian. I try to tell them that even if I liked boys I would still feel like a boy I hate how gender and orientation are confused. I'm sure they'll understand some day

Ni-paa~

[Guest Rainbow Drop]

my SO came out first as lesbian too, than he came out as andro and recently as str8 man. when he was telling that he was lesbian and than andro in our LGBT comunity that was excepted quite ok, i mean no problems... but now when he came out as a man, boy, ftm - now lots of them who were ok before started complicating. they are confused cos they knew him as a girl, with girl name and us as lesbian couple... i also think that for some we are just crazy or wanting to have atention or to be different... but there are some who see him that only now he is in his right place (in his right clothes, role, gender...).

our very good friend who is also ftm (but he is not aware of it yet ) is bisexual. and almost all bi or lez girls from our company, don't believe him that he is having a boyfriend or mostly they believe that he is having him cos he is a lesbian and he wants to hide it with dating him... but i'm sure that guy can only be gay . when he is dating girls only this is the real thing for them.

[Guest eragon]

I face the same problem with my father and other family members, I can be gay but I cant be male, or they think that all the behaviors that they have seen me do are the equivalant of that of a gay girl, its hard to get them to tell the differnce esp since they are unwilling to feed in to what they call my dilusion

[Guest Zenda]

Kia ora Marco, I posted this a while back when another person had struck a similar problem with her friends I have just copied my original reply to her question plus slight alterations...

The term Homosexual when applied to transssexual people can be quite confusing considering the fact

we identity mentally [and in many cases surgically] with what was our opposite sex. If you look at the origin of the word 'homosexual' homos=same-in Greek and 'sexus'-in Latin for sex-one private parts...that's where the confusion sets in surrounding a trans-person's sexual orientation

Some transsexual people are using the terms ANDROPHILIC OR GYNEPHILIC to describe their sexual attraction to others. Andro=man/male philic=love/like one is attracted to men gyne=woman/female philic=love/like one is attracted to women. You could say to your friends "I'm gynephilic it means I am attracted to women the same as an heterosexual man is...I'm not attracted to them because they have the same private parts as me!!

This should impress and educate your somewhat confused friends and give them something to think/talk about !

Metta Jendar

[Guest JackKat]

I really hate it when people call me butch. It drives me crazy. I'm not a butch girl. I'm just a guy. I'v never had any luck with people who knew me as girl really fully acepting me as a guy. I mean I get it, its hard for them, but I really cant stand to be called butch... thats just rude to me....

[Guest mr_marc]

Oh yeah, my friend said to me

'so my lesbian mate likes boy thing now?' really proud and i actually screamed 'im not a a small levee!'.

i swing both ways lol.

it is so irritating because its like you've said it but they still choose to ignor it.

[Guest Rika-chama]

I know I hate being called a a small levee. I'm not a a small levee I'm a boy. My paretns and brother think I'm like this because I'm a lesbian. I never really acted like this my whole life and now a year after saying I'm a gay I'm saying I'm a boy. Why would I make something up that causes me so much distress and depression. I hate it. I sometimes wish I liked guys just so people wouldn't think I was making up that I am trans

Ni-paa~

[Guest CharlesMonroe]

I have this problem as well. Its so annoying because i have all thee people at school call me a a small levee, and i'm just like i'm going out with a boy moron! A lot of people find it really confusing that i'm a guy who likes guys now.

Also, wha does small levee mean when its at home!?

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

That censor is really annoying. "Small levee"?

My therapist keeps annoying me with references to me being a "girl before". It really bothers me. I'm NOT a girl... hence I can't be a lesbian.

[Guest Jake]

I came out first as bisexual, then as a lesbian, then finally got it all over and done with and explained that I'm a straight male! I was a mixed up kid. Now I kind of disbelieve in sexuality in so far as I think anyone can fall in love with someone regardless of gender and that sexuality is merely determined by hormones and lust. Obviously that doesn't change the fact that you'd have to be female to be lesbian, but still. I think it's something they will get used to over time, to be honest, once they see in you in a heterosexual relationship for example. I found it really uncomfortable with my ex (who had issues with her sexuality) as I knew she was attracted to girls a fair bit, and thought she might view me as female which was why she was with me etc. Now I'm in a more stable relationship but if I'm honest being with someone a fair bit older than me, that has only ever been with men is a lot more of a comfort. In a nutshell, your friends will only come round based on your behaviour with women. Good luck though,

J.

[Guest mr_marc]

My mate keeps calling me a lesbian...

I have a boyfriend...im not sure about women now cause when i get asked 'you think she's fit?' alls i can think of is 'ew, boobies!-runs away-' lol.

She keeps calling me her lesbian mate!

And my reaction is,

1. I am not a bloody lesbian for the hundreth time. Because lesbians dont like men, thats why their lesbians and i have a bf.

2. I have a name! Its Marc lol.

3. I am not a girl

So there for, cant be a lesbian lol. Oh hell, some one help me. Im tempted to write it on my forehead im not a lesbian. Im a Sweetie! lol

[Guest Starkstrom]

My mate keeps calling me a lesbian...

I have a boyfriend...im not sure about women now cause when i get asked 'you think she's fit?' alls i can think of is 'ew, boobies!-runs away-' lol.

She keeps calling me her lesbian mate!

And my reaction is,

1. I am not a bloody lesbian for the hundreth time. Because lesbians dont like men, thats why their lesbians and i have a bf.

2. I have a name! Its Marc lol.

3. I am not a girl

So there for, cant be a lesbian lol. Oh hell, some one help me. Im tempted to write it on my forehead im not a lesbian. Im a Sweetie! lol

You should SO make a t-shirt with that printed on! I'd totally wanna get one *lol*

[Guest mr_marc]

Maybe i should and then she'll get the message

I have nothing against lesbians id just really wish she'd stop calling me one lol.

Now i know how girls feel when they get called lesbians and why their offended lol. Is the attitude towards them!

[Guest Devlin]

I know how you feel and it's so annoying to me because of my job. I don't try to look female, but I know that there is a fine line on how far I can take my apperence. Of course because I don't wear makeup or wear girly things or talk about relationships...its assumed I must be a lesbian. So then I run across a person every so often with the now famous "gay-dar" and will eventually ask if I am family. I instantly say no, but of course nobody believes me because I just don't fit in unless I am a 30+ tomboy which really does not exsist in the 30s. So IF I trust them, and that can take forever, I will tell them and so far people have been cool about it. I generally pass except for my voice, even when I am not putting an effort in to pass. The biggest problem I have is vacations... I would love to take one and be free to spend time with my girl, but it really gets annoying because I don't have that 100% pass rate and I don't want her labeled as lesbian because she 100% isn't. I won't even go to clubs because of that label. I don't want it or be associated with it. I can't wait for the T so I can have a social life. Having 3-4 firends really sucks when none live near me anymore.

[Guest Darrel]

If they call you a lesbian, punch them in the face. If they call you it again, kick them between the legs. It hurts both boys and girls.

Bloody tarts who think they know more about a person than that person knows about themselves. Oyyy!

[Guest Mr. Fox]

I like your advice, Darrel.

I myself can be of no help Marco. I am not out as trans, and I'm AC/DC anyways. In fact the opposite has happened to me. "I'm a lesbian." "No, you like guys too. You're bi." And I don't protest because they're right. I don't say I'm a lesbian anymore anyway. I am done running away from the stereotype of the bi girl who comes out to attract men (oh, they are abundant at my school), so it doesn't matter anyway. This was a pointless post, but a moment typing is a moment not working on my English paper.

[Guest mr_marc]

Very true

I have the dear luxory of being called a lesbian tomoz since im back at school -pouts-

Heeeeeelp lol.

What really gets me and tickles me is, how the blue hell do yuo get a lesbian mixed up with a gay guy?

Their complete opposites lol.

But in the world of *width holds name at the risk of loosing a limb* im a lesbain and proud? XD

I know my two other mates tease me and call me it but their playing she's being serious o.O

[Guest Ryles_D]

I know a lot of asexuals have this problem, too, because there's no possible way a person wouldn't want sex- clearly it's just trying to hide their true sexuality. And, in this case, there's no way you're really a girl- you just know that you'll never get a girlfriend as a girl. Of course, it's slightly easier to hide asexuality than the fact you're gender doesn't match your body. 'I'm just waiting for marriage before being a girl' doesn't really work here.

Mostly, be patient with them. It's hard to accept something so odd. They look at you, they see a girl's face, a girl's chest, a girl's body, and they can't get "this is a boy" around that. If you get used to someone in one way, finding out something really shocking about them is hard to deal with- even if it's just something otherwise normal- finding out something that to a lot of people isn't normal is worse. You can try to explain it to them if you want them to understand, and they might accept it, but some people just won't.

[Guest Just_Call_Me_Nick]

Aww yes all the titles been said that I can not stand...Butch, Lesbian, a small levee etc...I found my family and friends do not and will not understand. So I just left it alone, though I could not ignore my family...I walked away from my friends. I can not and will not be around anyone that does not accept me for who I am and that is a man!

If they don't like it...well...walk on...if they do not understand it...I will explain it to them...if they still do not understand....walk on...

Nick~