Sir?!!

[Guest yvonne]

I was in a store recently, presenting as a male, which I do all too well right now... The female cashier called me Sir and, in my mind, I thought to myself, Sir? What a slap. I showed no outward response, but I guess it's really funny.

I've become such a girl in my mind that things like that are jolting me a little. Hey, a journey begins with the first step. Mine was accepting me as who I really am and it's only been about a year for that and MANY years before that of wrestling with my gender ID.

For those of you who're frustrated you can't get the complete thing done next week, take a deep breath and just work on your inner self first. I've achieved great mental peace just being who I am to myself.

I'll just have to deal with people calling me Sir for the time being.....

Yvonne

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I get it occasionally, and have learned the best thing to do is just let it slide. Best not to out yourself or risk it by making a scene

[TassieTiff]

Isn't it funny how it is the 3 letter words that hurt the most.... ( not the 4 letter ones) Sir, He , him His...... AND I am sure some of them do it deliberately. You Will get a phone Call From Someone with your Female Name written In Front of them... They Still Call you Sir....SO you Say " excuse Me... I am Transgendered and Full time Female".... Two minutes Further into the Conversation... they do it again.... What are they... Bloody Robots.... "And you can Hear them Snickering the whole time... It is demoralising, Belittling and destoys your self confidence..... AND then the mongrels wonder why you won't B uy their Product or service.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Isn't it funny how it is the 3 letter words that hurt the most.... ( not the 4 letter ones) Sir, He , him His...... AND I am sure some of them do it deliberately. You Will get a phone Call From Someone with your Female Name written In Front of them... They Still Call you Sir....SO you Say " excuse Me... I am Transgendered and Full time Female".... Two minutes Further into the Conversation... they do it again.... What are they... Bloody Robots.... "And you can Hear them Snickering the whole time... It is demoralising, Belittling and destoys your self confidence..... AND then the mongrels wonder why you won't B uy their Product or service.

Someone told me, when i first began this road that, that the first thing you need to do is grow a thick skin. there will always be those who try to goad you but until you get your voice in place the gender confusion seems to be normal. I seldom get the 'sir' anymore since my voice found me several weeks ago, it even causes confusion on the phone (something I never thought would happen). Im only 3 month into HRT and let things like that slide, like water off a duck's back, I really dont see the point of wasting the emotional energy causing a scene about it.

[Guest meridian]

This thread reminded me of the Mother's Day disaster, when I went out to brunch with my daughter. She had wanted to wear a skirt--the first time out with me dressed as a woman--and I asked her to please wear pants. I wasn't ready yet. Then I felt terrible about that, so when she was carded at the restaurant and didn't have her ID, I explained that she was over 21 but since she was transgender she looked feminine and therefore younger. This was the sort of place where I felt I could give that explanation and be understood, and I was right: to a point. The waiter thought I meant she was my genetic daughter who was transitioning to be a man--and very proudly (and much more than would normally be necessary) called her "Sir" throughout the meal! What an experience.

Just remember that when you are an older woman, you will probably hate being called ma'am!

Cheers.

Meridian

[Guest krisspykriss]

If someone calls me sir when I am in girl mode, I sally let it slide. I have honestly used the wrong pronouns with some of my trans friends. suay it is the ones who I interact with a lot that I see in guy mode a lot. So I remember that and usually cut them slack. OTOH, if there is pronounced emphasis on the word Sir, I often do say something as discretely as possible. Like if I am at a restaurant and the waiter does it, I will motion him or her (it is almost always a him) to come a little closer and then explain why he wont be getting a tip. i have also a couple times spoke with the persons manager. So if it seems it may be a slip, I let it go. If it is obviously deliberate, I make a point to say something as discretely as possible.

If I am with a guy when it happens, they always want to say something for me, but again I follow the above rule of thumb.

I don't see any reason to take a deliberate slight.

hugz,

Chrissy

[Guest angie]

I get it occasionally, and have learned the best thing to do is just let it slide. Best not to out yourself or risk it by making a scene

I do not let it slide,I am too happy being a girl to let some one get away with calling me a man.

I smile and in a joking friendly way,say,"Sir? I haven't been a sir in a long long time." That most always elicts a response of (oh I am sorry ma'am).It all depends on how one handles the

situation.Being smilingly friendly in your response,throws them about every time.

Angelique

[Guest Donna Jean]

I won't take a deliberate slight, either...

But what Yvonne said was..

I was in a store recently, presenting as a male, which I do all too well right now...

So, actually, presenting as male will get most of us a "Sir", unfortunately....

Hopefully, on down the road, we'll get Ma'am'd in any situation!

Huggs...

Donna Jean

[Guest angie]

Hopefully, on down the road, we'll get Ma'am'd in any situation!

Huggs...

Donna Jean

Oh you will my sister,oh you will.

Hugs Lady,

Angie

[Guest NatalieRene]

If someone calls me sir when I am in girl mode, I sally let it slide. I have honestly used the wrong pronouns with some of my trans friends. suay it is the ones who I interact with a lot that I see in guy mode a lot. So I remember that and usually cut them slack. OTOH, if there is pronounced emphasis on the word Sir, I often do say something as discretely as possible. Like if I am at a restaurant and the waiter does it, I will motion him or her (it is almost always a him) to come a little closer and then explain why he wont be getting a tip. i have also a couple times spoke with the persons manager. So if it seems it may be a slip, I let it go. If it is obviously deliberate, I make a point to say something as discretely as possible.

If I am with a guy when it happens, they always want to say something for me, but again I follow the above rule of thumb.

I don't see any reason to take a deliberate slight.

hugz,

Chrissy

I like your attitude. It sounds like something I'd do, but I might wait to tell the waiter until after my debit card (I don't want him peed and copying down my card information) has been returned to me or just as I am handing the waiter exact cash so they can't "get even" after I break the news.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Oh you will my sister,oh you will.

Hugs Lady,

Angie

Thanks, Sweetie.....

Thanks a LOT!

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest krisspykriss]

I won't take a deliberate slight, either...

But what Yvonne said was..

I was in a store recently, presenting as a male, which I do all too well right now...

So, actually, presenting as male will get most of us a "Sir", unfortunately....

Hopefully, on down the road, we'll get Ma'am'd in any situation!

Huggs...

Donna Jean

Well that is a given. The only time I had an issue while in guy mode is there was this particular person at a Shell station I frequent that would call me Ma'am in guy mode and Sir in girl mode. That was on overt slight that I took as a mean way of saying "I know what you are and I don't like it." I don't care (too much) if someone approves, but they need not be offensive. I took that up with her manager when her coworkers overheard what she said and gave me this look of empathy. The problem was rectified.

hugz,

Chrissy

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I won't take a deliberate slight, either...

But what Yvonne said was..

I was in a store recently, presenting as a male, which I do all too well right now...

So, actually, presenting as male will get most of us a "Sir", unfortunately....

Hopefully, on down the road, we'll get Ma'am'd in any situation!

Huggs...

Donna Jean

Well for me its nearly 90-95% Ma'am right now even on that demon phone... yipee

[Guest Donna Jean]

Well that is a given. The only time I had an issue while in guy mode is there was this particular person at a Shell station I frequent that would call me Ma'am in guy mode and Sir in girl mode. That was on overt slight that I took as a mean way of saying "I know what you are and I don't like it." I don't care (too much) if someone approves, but they need not be offensive. I took that up with her manager when her coworkers overheard what she said and gave me this look of empathy. The problem was rectified.

hugz,

Chrissy

Chrissy.....

I have to agree ...that was totally uncalled for!

And you did the right thing by going to the manager...for the most part it's not a good idea to be confrontational....

I really glad that you got it smoothed out!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest amie]

I haven't had this problem. I haven't begun hormones yet of anything.

I'm pretty thick-skinned and would let most slide on the deal.

However, if it were someone that knew me and did so deliberately in attempt to hurt me, I'd probably send 'em to the dentist.

[Guest krisspykriss]

Chrissy.....

.for the most part it's not a good idea to be confrontational....

Huggs

Donna Jean

I guess that depends. I am 6' 180, in excellent health, can benchpress well over 100lbs and have a decent amount of MMA training (a can of mace on my key-chain doesn't hurt either). While I dont go looking for a fight (I avoid one at all costs), I dont take too much crap off people very often either.

Do I suggest people to be physically confrontational? NO! Do I suggest people not let others bully and intimidate you? Yes!

There is a point where being non-confrontational becomes a target on your back. There is also a point where being to assertive can lead to trouble as well. It takes some balance.

hugz,

Chrissy

[Guest amie]

[Guest Donna Jean]

There is a point where being non-confrontational becomes a target on your back. There is also a point where being to assertive can lead to trouble as well. It takes some balance.

hugz,

Chrissy

Nicely put, Honey!

The key is balance!

Thanks for that!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest viv]

I was in a store recently, presenting as a male, which I do all too well right now... The female cashier called me Sir and, in my mind, I thought to myself, Sir? What a slap. I showed no outward response, but I guess it's really funny.

I've become such a girl in my mind that things like that are jolting me a little. Hey, a journey begins with the first step. Mine was accepting me as who I really am and it's only been about a year for that and MANY years before that of wrestling with my gender ID.

For those of you who're frustrated you can't get the complete thing done next week, take a deep breath and just work on your inner self first. I've achieved great mental peace just being who I am to myself.

I'll just have to deal with people calling me Sir for the time being.....

Yvonne

Hi Yvonne,

Re. presenting as male " right now" yeh, know what you mean, there myself. But , and this is me being upbeat, confident etc, there are times when that

first millisecond looking in the mirror or when I turn away and catch that last glimpse of myself I see a little difference ( I know ,I know , crazy or what ) but I do.

Up to now I have merely changed my diet , I do a lot of aerobics and do the "skin care regime" . My hair is thick and starting to get long now (ponytail territory soon)

oh, and I am not toooo hairy face wise. Is that me being a girl in my head ????dont care , it works for me and till I start hrt I am growing crops of confidence in the

back garden and eating same I love your comments re inner self, to find real peace and self acceptance is a gift , I would strongly suggest its then you

will find people accept you much more readily. please post,post,post Yvonne, what you say gives me strength, Luv, Viv.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Yeah I'll call in at work and say "Hello, this is Liz truck (blah blah)" and the guy on the other end will say "yes sir, what can I help you with?" and I'm sitting there thinking "did you not hear me say my name was LIZ?!"

night dispatch...they're good for nothing.

My regular dispatcher though, he treats me much better. He even asks little questions about me or transitioning. I think this last time he asked out of curiosity if I like girls or guys. I know his questions are innocent and he's just trying to understand it all. That doesn't bother me.

Although this other time I hadn't been able to shower for a few days so naturally I couldn't pull off the girl thing with face fuzz so I went into a shop to buy an air filter. Give them my debit card and the lady looks at it and goes "you're elizabeth?" I say "yup! here's my ID" and showed it to her. I think it was awkward for both parties..

[Guest krisspykriss]

Although this other time I hadn't been able to shower for a few days so naturally I couldn't pull off the girl thing with face fuzz so I went into a shop to buy an air filter. Give them my debit card and the lady looks at it and goes "you're elizabeth?" I say "yup! here's my ID" and showed it to her. I think it was awkward for both parties..

Buy an electric razor. I keep a three blade razor in my car for touch-ups I might have missed in the bathroom. I can dry shave though, so it is no big deal. If you can't afford a decent electric razor and can't dry shave, try some coconut butter skin cream as a lubricant and then shave.

Seriously girl, there are ways around this issue.

hugz,

Chrissy

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Buy an electric razor. I keep a three blade razor in my car for touch-ups I might have missed in the bathroom. I can dry shave though, so it is no big deal. If you can't afford a decent electric razor and can't dry shave, try some coconut butter skin cream as a lubricant and then shave.

..and next you'll tell me if I don't have time to do my hair to throw it up in a messy bun?

shoot, I just answered my own question.

btw, I never dry shave. That's just murder on your skin and there's not enough aloe to take that redness away.

craziest thing I have ever done was after a fairly long night of driving I had a morning delivery. Well I didn't really have a lot of time to take my face off as I was getting prickly so what I did was take off my makeup from cheek level on down. Shave in the truck using a cup of water and some shave gel. Dry my face off and then reapply makeup from cheek level on down and blend well so you can't tell what was older makeup and what was newer makeup. It actually worked!

[Guest amie]

..and next you'll tell me if I don't have time to do my hair to throw it up in a messy bun?

shoot, I just answered my own question.

btw, I never dry shave. That's just murder on your skin and there's not enough aloe to take that redness away.

craziest thing I have ever done was after a fairly long night of driving I had a morning delivery. Well I didn't really have a lot of time to take my face off as I was getting prickly so what I did was take off my makeup from cheek level on down. Shave in the truck using a cup of water and some shave gel. Dry my face off and then reapply makeup from cheek level on down and blend well so you can't tell what was older makeup and what was newer makeup. It actually worked!

Who yu drive for, Lizzie? You mind me askin?

I drove OTR for 2 1/2 years and for FedEx Ground for a good spell.

I loved that Volvo. That thing was a Cadi!

They gave me a fast one too.

It was gov'd @ 94. This made it nice for drivin' out west.

[Guest krisspykriss]

..and next you'll tell me if I don't have time to do my hair to throw it up in a messy bun?

shoot, I just answered my own question.

btw, I never dry shave. That's just murder on your skin and there's not enough aloe to take that redness away.

craziest thing I have ever done was after a fairly long night of driving I had a morning delivery. Well I didn't really have a lot of time to take my face off as I was getting prickly so what I did was take off my makeup from cheek level on down. Shave in the truck using a cup of water and some shave gel. Dry my face off and then reapply makeup from cheek level on down and blend well so you can't tell what was older makeup and what was newer makeup. It actually worked!

Just trying to help.

I assumed that being full-time and having your name changed and all that, you would not want to look prickly faced in public.

I know how to shave and apply make-up in five minutes. 1) apply coco-butter cream 2) shave 3) wipe excess lotion off my face 4) apply yellow toned concealer on upper lip (it covers up that slight shadow left after even the closest shave 5) apply mineral foundation on face. Done!

Takes me 5 minutes.

Hair? I just wear a do-rag over it if I dont have the time to mess with it.

If you don't being prickly faced, go for it.