I Don`t Know How Long I Will Be Able To Stay On Here
By
Guest Jonie,
in Male to Female (MtF) Discussions
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By Heather Shay · Posted
Are you able to live in the moment or does your inner demon generally control you? -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
Emotional trauma, also known as psychological trauma, is an emotional response to a distressing event that's outside the normal range of human experiences. It can be caused by a single event or a series of events that make someone feel unsafe or helpless, and can have a mental impact that's just as harmful as physical injuries. -
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By Willow · Posted
Good morning We are going to be attending a different congregation today. I particularly wanted to meet Cee Cee Armstrong, our minister’s co-moderator partner. Her church is about 2 hours away. So we will be leaving in about 30 minutes. She knows we are coming. going along with what was written yesterday goes the question “Am I trans enough?” And all I can say to those who ask that question is that there is no defined answer as to what is enough, just as there is no answer to what is too much. We are all different. We are all marching down this road together. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
This is an awesome and needed idea. Thank you @Vidanjali. I know a young MTF who graduated from college and her parents disowned her and told her not to come home ON THE DAY OF GRADUATION. I reqwuest prayers for her to find comfort, housing and joy. -
By NoEli6 · Posted
TW: Violent hate crime Hi Been... a good long while since I've popped up here. Made some friends. All trans girls. They're lovely and supportive. But one of them... a couple times now, she's made comments dismissing pains of being FtM (such as binder pain) with a response of something along the lines of "well, we (trans woman) get murdered." She gave a lengthy, heartfelt, absolutely wonderful apology for it that I appreciated so damn much. But, -expletive-, man, something about those comments stuck with me I guess? I'm not hurt by what she said anymore because she apologized sincerely and explained she never meant any harm and I wholeheartedly accept her apology. But something about that... has just been weighing on me. I think it may just be the guilt of privilege? But, a little deeper than that, wanting to be seen for my struggles, too. Trans women get so much coverage and visibility compared to trans men (which this friend has also contested in the past...?) and I think a part of me is just... I don't know, I feel awful because it feels insensitive to imply that "oh, I've got it harder, don't you see?" but I think I just want to be recognized for the fact that I'm SO -censored- scared of being hatecrimed. I don't pass- she does! And yet she talks about how her group gets violently hatecrimed more often and I'm just like... I don't know. She's white, too, as am I, both middle class Californians as well, neither of us are extremely at risk here. I don't even know what I'm feeling here. I just want to vent, I want some advice, I want someone to tell me how to feel. Is it true that trans man rarely ever get hatecrimed? That doesn't feel real. I don't know if this is something similar to white guilt, just guilt for having privilege, or if this has a deeper root, I'm just so... torn up, for no reason, about these things that she's said. Part of it could be that she, and my two other friends, are all on HRT, while I've been stuck in a household that won't allow any medical transition till I'm 18 for 3 years and another one to wait. And that I can't talk about that. Because I feel like I'll bring down the mood. And that my dysphoria hasn't gotten easier, I'm still as -toasted- up as ever over it, but I feel the need to sit in silence instead and on top of that have to constantly hear my friends talk about small annoyances regarding HRT that I would KILL TO HAVE. Now I'm just ranting. I think there's a lot of mixed up feelings here. Let me know if anyone relates to the guilt thing, though. Would appreciate it. Thanks y'all. Sorry for disappearing. Glad to be back. -
By Nonexistent · Posted
I know it's frustrating to hear, but you have to be patient. 5 weeks is nothing. It can take years to grow facial hair. Even then, you may be unlucky and not get much. Everyone's body reacts differently to T. You just have to be patient and let T do it's thing. -
By Nonexistent · Posted
I've been on T for 6yrs now, my levels are good. But I still don't pass very well, I look very feminine. I have top surgery already. I can't tell if it's bad luck/genetics or if there is some reason why T might not "work" on me. The only thing it has done well is lower my voice. Everything else, not so much. I have a bit more muscle, and a tiny bit of chin scruff. That's it. Is there any medical reason why T might not have much of an effect? I asked my PA and they didn't know. -
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By Nonexistent · Posted
Thank you for the welcome. :) As an adult I don't actually get much (if any) hate directed at me. As a kid/teen I got discriminated against and ostracized. And online is crazy with hatred. But in real life I just keep to myself and that tends to make others not bother you. I think I get a double take from someone every so often, but I don't get stared at or anything. I do get called ma'am sometimes which sucks and is embarrassing. I like the positive self-talk, saying that you are trans, you shouldn't have the same "expectations" as if you were cis. Some trans people are lucky, some of us are not. I'm not. The only thing I got lucky with is my voice. Everything else, nope. I will try and remind myself that I'm just trying to live my life, I didn't choose to be born this way, I don't need to be embarrassed of myself in every situation.
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