My Latest Post In This Thread

[Guest Johanna]

Hello everybody,

I don´t wanna be importunate, 'cos I post the same once again in this thread. But it´s important for me to hear your opinion about my life as Johanna from my childhood to this day.

My name is my maternal grandmothers name.

The beginning was in the 19sixties.I was lyin´ín my parents bed an could not fall asleep.I found a pair stockings from my mom and slipt in.The feeling was great.

But the next days i felt bad about this. Till I was thirteen years old I started again. From now an I wore pantyhoses from my older sister. Later as adult I bought many clothes, shoes and female underwear. Also I started to manicure me. Today I have all things for being a woman, but only usual and unremarkable ladies wear for miscellaneous occassions. I use for a perfect girls feeling pads and allways, you know. Like women one time per month. Don´t know is that still normal?

But my desire was ever to be a "normal" mature housewife like my mother and grandmother.My female idol was my aunt, mothers younger sister. My mom nabs me three or four times, and I tried to close with it, but ever the urge for dressing like a woman was stronger.

And now I have a question: A half year ago I had a curious dream. I saw me as a pregnant young woman sitting with my family at the table for drinking coffee.

Suddenly I jumped up and ran in the bathroom and had to vomit. The birth was not to seen in this dream before i woke up. This dream made me confused, because all the people were really existent,and I was the woman i ever dreamed. Notably the dream was so realistic, that I was catched in it the follow day. Is anybody there, which had dreamed similar?

Sometimes comes the womanhood in full strength ant then it´s a wonderful deliverance just to wear female wardrobe.

Hugs

Johanna

[Guest viv]

Hi Johanna,

We all got that uncontrollable urge to wear womens clothing. Your dream maybe just how strongly committed you are to transition.

Follow your dreams, they are yours. Luv, viv.

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, Johanna. I missed posting on your introduction topic, so I'll take this opportunity to welcome you to

Laura's. I hope you've had a chance to look around the forums and gain some insights from other

members.

Your dream is not so unusual, Hon. A lot of us have had similar dreams and fantasies. We spend a lot

of time thinking about ourselves as women, and wondering what it would be like. That leads to

dreams about the same issues. My therapist has told me that dreams are a reflexion of the issues

that are on your mind during the day, a way for the mind to sort out conflicting feelings, emotions and

thoughts. So dreaming about your life as a woman is perfectly natural.

You haven't said whether you are in therapy or considering it. If not, I strongly suggest that you find

a gender therapist, who can help you make sense of your feelings and longings and help you determine

where you fall on the gender spectrum. They won't give you the answers, but will help you find them for

yourself.

We are here to help you all we can, and we can offer our experiences, but it takes time with a therapist

to know yourself better and find the answers you're loolking for.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ricka]

Johanna, Dear---I am inclined to view your dreams as a way to connect with the woman inside of you. And it seems that another way that you find to feel connected is to wear women's clothing. Hun, you are not at all unusual. For me I am the most relaxed, self-confident and feel I am being who I truly am when I don my wig, make-up and earrings and wear a bra. When I look in the mirror the beautiful woman I am inside is looking back at me.

ricka

[Guest ricka]

Johanna--like you my early memories are of dressing up in my mother's clothes and jewelry and putting on make-up. I repressed these memories for soooo many years in attempt to be what others expected me to be and who I an turn tried to be, but at such a cost!

ricka