Yay I'm Gay :d

[Guest AlexanderG]

People tend to think I'm gay (as a woman). I'm not, but I find it on some level reassuring they notice something's different about me.

Not to say I find it incredibly annoying they don't seem to believe me when I tell them I'm not a lesbian.

But on a level they're right, because I am gay. Just not as a woman.

For some reason I find that concept - myself as a homosexual man - very appealing. I feel at home with the 'label.' It resolves how I am attracted to men but don't want to be the girl. I can sigh contentedly at the notion.

Just a random thing, a positive one, coming out from all this. Instead of expecting to stay alone forever because of my body and mind being an obstacle for a heterosexual relationship, I at moments imaginatively look forward to someday having a boyfriend and being comfortable in a relationship & with having sex.

Funny how in my current state of mind it's things like this that seem to cheer me up.

Thnx for reading the random ramble.

Zander

[Guest Konnor]

I feel exactly the same way mate!! While I was semi-comfortable in the female role in a heterosexual relationship, it always felt off. This might be TMI but the only thing that "gets me going" is guy on guy stuff. People always thought I was a lesbian too, even though I've always liked girls. I SO want to tell them..."yeah, I'm gay...just a gay man." But oh well. I definitely know what you mean about someday finding a man you can be comfortable with in a relationship. I've been lucky enough to already find that man, and it's done so much for my self esteem! So just know you're not alone bud. Gay guys unite!!

--Konnor

[Guest tapiarachael]

Add me to the list of people that concur, except in the opposite way. Many people think i'm gay (as a guy, which i am not) but i find that the more and more a go along with transition I find myself preferring girls more and more; sometimes even exclusively o.o Funny how things turn out that way huh?

[Guest ricka]

Sometimes labels do make a difference--especially how we label ourselves because we get clarity as to how we see and express ourselves and how we identify what we need and want in a partner.

I always thought I was a gay male but it was a life-changing epiphany for me to discover that I am actually a straight female. My sexual preference has always been 100% for guys but it was like everything came into focus for me that what I was feeling physically and emotionally was as a woman, not as a guy.

Ricka

[Guest AlexanderG]

Thnx everyone.

I SO want to tell them..."yeah, I'm gay...just a gay man."

Yeah, exactlement!!!

That's not TMI to me, I feel the same. I like to quote Will from Will&Grace, *insert big grin* "I think to guys together is HOT!"

Lucky you for having found that guy.

@ ricka, you have had the literally opposite experience from me, then, hehe.

ALex

[Guest Adrian]

It's funny for me now; my firends all say to me: "I just can't get my head round the fact that you used to be a lesbian and now you're a straight guy!!"

It makes me laugh when I realise the obsurdity of it, accompanied by a surge of relief. I never fit into any of the lesbian identities. I told myself that this was simply because I don't believe in steriotypes, yahda yahda, but now I'm completely happy to just admit I'm a typical man.

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

It's funny for me now; my firends all say to me: "I just can't get my head round the fact that you used to be a lesbian and now you're a straight guy!!"

It makes me laugh when I realise the obsurdity of it, accompanied by a surge of relief. I never fit into any of the lesbian identities. I told myself that this was simply because I don't believe in steriotypes, yahda yahda, but now I'm completely happy to just admit I'm a typical man.

Your reply made me laugh because many MTF's go in the exact oposite direction, from straight guy to lesbian

[Guest Larson]

Dude, Alexander and Konnor, I feel exactly the same way. I can't believe others do too! It's one thing that has always held me back from wanting to transition. I always thought I must not be transgender if I'm still really attracted to guys. Now I'm learning, from Laura's and from my trans friends and from feminist courses at uni, the very very important differences between gender and sexuality. It is such a comfort to know that transgendered people can be any sexuality because it's got nothing to do with that.

Oh, and Konnor, not TMI, I completely agree

[Guest ricka]

Just goes to show that gender identity and gender preference are two TOTALLY separate states of our beings!! Such a relief and a joy when we get them "straight" (No pun intended!) Ha! some of my best friends are gay!!!

Ricka

[Guest Melisa]

I hear what people are saying here, but as a guy I like women. About 20-years ago when I first realized I wanted to be the opposite sex I started trying different things out if you will. I tried to have sex with guys(tried it with 8 different guys, I really did,) Each time I just couldn't make myself like it , I'm sorry to say but it was just totally discusting to me. The smell of them, what it felt like them touching me, the whole thing was groutesque to me. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say anything about anybody. I'm just saying that I wanted to be a women so much that I tried to be a women in the relationship sence and have the guy be the aggesure, well you know what I'm saying. Well also at that time I didn't see anyway else for me; surgery and trasitioning didn't seem like a realistic option for me at the time. So I figured being a women in a relationship with a guy would make me feel like a women. There is no way though, I like women and thats it and thats what feels natural to me.

Melisa

[Guest Camicochan]

Moderator, please delete my last post as I accidently submitted it unfinished.

I hear what people are saying here, but as a guy I like women. About 20-years ago when I first realized I wanted to be the opposite sex I started trying different things out if you will. I tried to have sex with guys(tried it with 8 different guys, I really did,) Each time I just couldn't make myself like it , I'm sorry to say but it was just totally discusting to me. The smell of them, what it felt like them touching me, the whole thing was groutesque to me. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say anything about anybody. I'm just saying that I wanted to be a women so much that I tried to be a women in the relationship sence and have the guy be the aggesure, well you know what I'm saying. Well also at that time I didn't see anyway else for me; surgery and trasitioning didn't seem like a realistic option for me at the time. So I figured being a women in a relationship with a guy would make me feel like a women. There is no way though, I like women and thats it and thats what feels natural to me.

Melisa

*applause*

This is pretty much my situation. Before starting to transition, I had this image of myself as a straight woman to fit in with "mainstream society." I didn't have very much contact with trans communities, and thought that I would somehow not be recognized as transsexual if I wasn't straight. I also had up until then dated girls, and wasn't comfortable with the idea of being gay yet. I tried dating a couple guys, and while I could find them mildly attractive, it didn't feel as "warm and fuzzy" as with girls. And I certainly couldn't bring myself to have sex. Eventually I came to NY and I met more and more friends in the LGBT community. One time I was at a party and had my first kiss with a girl as a girl (woo!), and it was magical! And now am perfectly happy with the lesbian label.

People tend to think I'm gay (as a woman). I'm not, but I find it on some level reassuring they notice something's different about me.

Not to say I find it incredibly annoying they don't seem to believe me when I tell them I'm not a lesbian.

But on a level they're right, because I am gay. Just not as a woman.

Hehe, I too when beginning to come out was assumed by everyone I encountered to be a gay guy. I tried for a short period of time to humor this (see above). I got hit on a lot by gay men in public places (LOL). Even my parents have trouble with this. "So you're not gay?" "Yeah I am, I like girls."

As of now, people read always read me as a straight girl *sigh* ...but a girl nonetheless so I'll take that

[Guest AlexanderG]

I got hit on a lot by gay men in public places (LOL).

Wish I were that lucky .

As of now, people read always read me as a straight girl *sigh* ...but a girl nonetheless so I'll take that

!

[Guest ricka]

It's just soooo awesome to find the right labels that really fit us, and then find out we are not so unique after all. I was always nervous and self-conscious and felt "different" as a gay male and did not feel attractive to the same sex, but as a woman that all completely changed dramatically for me. I feel a self-confidence with men I never experienced before and men respond to me completely differently.

Ricka

[Guest Adrian]

Interestingly, most of my MTF friends are attracted to women, sometimes exclusively.