Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

*waves* Hey. *hides*


Guest JeanVier

Recommended Posts

Guest JeanVier

Greetings, everyone. I have been lurking for a few weeks, and I decided to join today. (Thanks to Laura for approving my membership so quickly). So, here I am.

I am a rather introverted sort, so introductions are a bit hard. I do best when I have questions to answer, or join a discussion already in progress!

I am a college student in the northeastern U.S., studying Psychology and Creative Writing, looking to move into autoethnography, narrative therapy, or some combination of counseling and writing. I was lucky enough to find myself at a college with an incredible Psyc department, and an incredible mentor who facilitated my exploration of gender; now in my third course with him, I just declared my thesis-- an exploration of alternative and trans-masculinities, the construction and performance...

And, a few months ago, I just realised how close that topic comes to home.

Yet, how do I identify? I do not know... and I am very aware, perhaps too aware, of my current inability to place myself within a [spectrum / grid / matrix / cluster / helix]. I know that I was born female-bodied but that such a form does not fit; that I am in a state of metamorphosis, of renewal and regeneration-- I am in the cocoon, and, I know not if I will emerge a moth, a butterfly, or a lightning bug. I am in this cocoon, distracting myself with daydreams and nightdreams and ultra-abstract theories, I distance, I distract...

Even so, there is a quotient of fear. Fear of what I might discover within myself, fear of what I might discover in family, in workplace, in the world. I proceed tentatively, haltingly, with more questions than answers, with what I am not saying just as important as what I am saying. The space between these paragraphs, the transitional zone where more could be said, but left unsaid, or said differently.

It is so funny when boundaries collapse, shift, disappear. One can be firmly planted on one side of things, with an identity held as faith in gravity, inertia, or the tides. "I know not what I am, but I know that I am X." I am left-handed, 5'10", 20-something years old. What if one was to wake up three feet shorter, ten years older, a beetle in one's own human bed? What words are left, what meaning-making devices, when the self-story one has so carefully constructed changes plot, character, trajectory?

I wonder if I am making sense. I seem to wonder that quite often of late. So, I find myself here, and I find myself moving into speech, and I do not know what will happen, but that I feel this community is welcoming, supportive, and accepting-- something I need right now, and something I can give back to. Thanks.

-JeanVier

Link to comment
  • Admin

Hi, JeanVier, and welcome to Laura's!

Please have a comfy seat in the Member's Lounge and I'll get you a nice cup of hot cocoa and some of Sally's home baked cookies.

How's that?

It's great that you found us, honey. You'll find that this place is full of great information and wonderful, supportive people from all over the

planet. Its a fantastic place to make friends and learn.

I always tell our new members not to worry too much about where you fall on the gender spectrum, or what to call yourself. We are less interested

in categories and labels than we are in ensuring that you're happy in your own skin and you get all the information you need to make wise decisions.

The best person to help answer the question of who you are is a good gender therapist. They can be invaluable in finding that inner peace and

understanding you are looking for.

In the meantime, use the resources here to help you understand. There are forums for almost everything, including androgyne, MtF and FtM and

everything in between.

Please do post your questions and comments, and don't be shy. You're among friends!

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Hi JeanVier and welcome. Like Carolyn says, don't worry about where you fit in. You'll discover that in due time.

Gennee

:D

Link to comment

Welcome JeanVier!!! I loved your Kafka-esque intro!!! lsn't it a hoot to have been born outside the box and having never learned to think inside the box, then struggle to find some kind of box in which to think.

That said I bet you would be at home with the rich tapestry of Jung. Some of us never knew that those creatures we counted as family pets were supposed to be monsters!

Ricka

Link to comment

Hi JeanVier,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

Link to comment
Guest SusanKG

Hi JeanVier,

Welcome to the Playground. It's always nice to hear of another introvert here, and I share the traits you mentioned of needing prompting rather than jumping in with something, and I probably ride the backs of other posters to the point of a lather sometimes. I'm sure you will get many questions answered here, and it seems like you may be perfectly capable of answering them as well. Enjoy your stay, the cocoa's real good!

SusanKG

Link to comment
Guest JeanVier

*smile*

Thanks for the welcome, everyone!

I decided to join Laura's because, like Carolyn Marie said, this is such an accepting place. The energy is so positive, and everyone seems so helpful. Thank you.

Ricka-- So true! I find myself reading a lot of Jung lately, and I have found strength from this quote:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” -Jung

Thanks for the cocoa and cookies! Might I offer a plate of my scrumptious homemade vegan raisin-date-fig oatmeal walnut cookies?

-JV

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

COOKIES!

HECK YEAH!

Hello, Jean (nice name)!

I'll have a couple of those...I'm usually dispensing cookies, but, these are great!

Hi ya, I'm Donna Jean and welcome to the Playground!

I see that Carolyn has gotten you comfy, so just let me say that we are a moderated forum..we read each and every post before it goes up....that keeps it safe for everyone!

And if you haven't yet, please have a look at the forum rules ...there is a link at the top of most pages.....OK?

SUPER!

Now....kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!

Glad to have ya!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest JeanVier

*gives Donna Jean all cookies and scampers off to make more*

Thanks for the welcome! I am very glad the community is moderated (which does not mean censored!), as it makes me feel safer... And I have read the rules, so I should (and will) behave! :)

*takes off shoes and pads around in socks*

-JV

Link to comment

Hey JV,

I missed your intro until now I saw Donna Jean running off with all of your cookies, that is one kind I have never tried to bake - it sounds delicious, I'm going to go chase down Dee jay and try one.

Glad to have you here and know that you do belong, everyone does.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 120 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • SamC
    • Karen Carey
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,126
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Alisa Anne
    Newest Member
    Alisa Anne
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. cigsandsaints
      cigsandsaints
      (30 years old)
    2. cygnusKP
      cygnusKP
      (47 years old)
    3. Georgina
      Georgina
      (46 years old)
    4. MaK30
      MaK30
      (31 years old)
    5. Mandymike
      Mandymike
      (54 years old)
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums @Madelyn Rain   I'm very late in life and in a slow transition. I'm out to my wife, grown children and my siblings, their support ranges from reluctant to total denial of my existence. Several are totally onboard with my transition. As for my medical and therapeutic care team... I'm out and started my conversation as they have known me from the start. Manly, just starting the transition. As I've proceeded along the transition trail, my mannerisms and speech have taken on a lighter tone. I have not started any real voice feminizing yet.    My recommendation is to just go in honestly and be your comfortable self.   Best wishes,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Vidanjali
    • MaeBe
      It’s a “wedge issue”, used as a way of forcing other things quietly while making a big deal out of something that impassions others. Trans issues “stuck” when the Right threw all sorts of social strategies at the wall, it clicked with the base and now we’re here. Who doesn’t want to “protect the children”, right?   As far as fascism goes, we’re on our way with either party but it’s not a hard guess which party gets us all the way there the fastest. Frankly, I see the Left dogged by politics of conscience. The war in Israel, the status quo of Wall Street, the perpetual increase in the wealth divide, and what little is being done on the environmental front are all indicators of capitalism guiding policy and the voter base of the Left is not impressed.   The Right is dogged by (or been sold into) a persecution complex, religious or otherwise, and it has made them afraid and angry. But! A lot of the issues that cause that fear are very similar, if not the same, on the Left (see wealth divide, see Wall Street, etc.). Weaponized religion is a big difference between the voting blocks and it’s being used to create insidious identity politics. Politics like that are why the party of “freedom” wants to control who people are. Why? Because God said so.    As for the OP, everyone knows the far right agenda isn’t a grass roots cause. It’s not surprising that there is big money and croneyism at work. In fact, I’ll bet the average MAGA voter would cheer it on. Grab ‘em by the pus-pocketbook! They’re the little guys in this and they need those “few” people to do god’s work with their “hard-earned” wealth. 
    • Madelyn Rain
      Hiya, I’m about to be going to my appointment to set up hrt. I have spoken with my dr about it briefly in the past, but stopped being part time and went into deep masking essentially… Now that I have decided to actually start transitioning medically I feel pressure to be a certain way which I know I shouldn’t. I searched to see if someone else had asked this question but didn’t see it posted, so sorry if it’s been asked.    Did you dress femme and or use a femme voice for your appointment to discuss starting hrt? I still feel so manly in the way I look, so I just feel so… awkward about it all. Like to mask or not to or idk uggh so unsure how to feel about it as I’m totes not ashamed of who I am but insecure about looking manly. I have a femme “baby face” but am not too tall but broad and more on the muscular side. Not saying these things take away from being a woman, just they are my insecurities.   thank you,   Madelyn Rain
    • Ivy
      This stuff gets complicated.  Capitalism replaced Feudalism…  You get enclosures, Highland clearances, the communal village culture disrupted.  Was it good?  Or was it bad?  Kinda depends on your point of view.   But I guess this is another topic.
    • Ivy
      Seems like it.  But I think a lot of current "conservative" thinking is the idea of going back to earlier social mores and enforcing such. "Conservatives" seem fine with coercing others to conform to their ideals.
    • Ivy
      I see the corporations controlling the government, largely through campaign contributions.   As for leftist, almost any cooperation has a socialistic component.  It doesn't need to be controlled by the government.  I see some elements of your own situation as socialist in a sense.  I suspect we have a different understanding of these things. Some people see "anarchism" as simply local control.  Radical left?  IDK.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      The truth is that there's no unbiased media. Even if someone tries real hard to show both sides of the issue and remain unbiased in their presentation, their own opinions are bound to influence the piece in some way. That's simply writing, really, but it's a real pain when it comes to news of current events. It seems everyone takes one extreme or the other, and a lot of people don't even seem to be trying to hide their bias in the news nowadays. That's a problem regardless of political party.   Going completely in any one direction is a bad idea, really. The point of a two-party (or more, really) system is that multiple types of people are represented and have someone speaking up in a way they agree with. Both sides have both faults and virtues, and that's why there's both conservatives and liberals, as well as people who might be fluid between the two sides depending on the issue.     Eh, I have to politely disagree. Fascism would also mean a lot of control over things like media, and we have plenty of media outlets who will openly criticize the government based on who's in power. There's also other freedoms in our current system that would go against a Fascist philosophy. Plus, there's plenty of corporations that actively try to avoid government interventions like regulations via methods like labor outsourcing.    Also, kinda unrelated, but I've never gotten the idea of conservative support of anti-trans policy? I mean, that's more government control over healthcare, which seems kinda anti-conservative in philosophy. Anyone can correct me if I'm wrong, but to my understanding of conservative philosophy, wouldn't the more truly conservative view be to leave it to offices themselves similar to how you would leave businesses to regulate what and how they provide a good/service?
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      My husband calls her the "Snow Fox."  Pretty sure penguin is what's for dinner...
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      And I suppose that NPR and CNN are "fair and balanced...."  I guess its all a matter of perspective, but here we literally listen to NPR as a comedy station.  As in, WHAT PLANET do these folks live on????  So much of what is presented seems totally nuts.    There's no shortage of big money funding the Left.  George Soros, Bill Gates, the Walton family....  If they support the "climate" agenda in any way - leftist.  If they support "gun control" in any way - leftist.  If they support UNESCO, anything else from the UN, electric vehicles, vaccination, funding public universities, etc....  you get the picture.  There's a heck of a lot of leftism going on if you just listen for the buzzwords on radio and tv.  And it seems like a large portion of big corporations are using those words.   What was the original idea of Fascism?  Corporations working hand-in-hand with a government that controls basically everything.  Doesn't seem too different from what is going on today, except that we have two parties involved. 
    • Ivy
    • Ivy
      The only reason I tried Tetris, was some of my younger kids had a gameboy I had younger coworkers playing packman when we took breaks at convenience stores.  I never could get into it.  I do remember the old pinball machines in the gas stations though    
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Everybody used to live that way, but not everybody is adapted to every climate.  I would be fine living like that, really.  My GF... well she'd be alive but I'm not sure about everybody around her.   If the house isn't super cold, she becomes difficult to deal with.  And the hotter it is outside, the colder she wants it inside.  Even the light bothers her, so she prefers areas without windows.  She'll work outdoors on projects, but when she's done sometimes she's bleeding from the corners of her eyes.  Her normal body temperature is also really cold.  For her, 95.7 to 96.2 is normal, and sometimes in the winter she can be as low as 92 while still appearing normal.  Arctic creature, I guess... Me, I'm fine with lower temperatures as long as I'm active.  But when I sleep, I get cold easily. 
    • Ivy
    • Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...