Would I Be Setting A Bad Example?

[Guest ChrisRydia]

If this is in the wrong area, please move this.

Ok, my sister is pregnant. She is due in June I think. Anywho, the baby is going to see me as a guy. Later on, it's going to see me as something else. I know babies won't remember much, but there is a small % it would remember. Would that affect the baby in some shape or form? This has been on my mind for awhile. (I would be an uncle, later in life I would be an Aunt). This is bugging me. Any ideas?

Rydia

[Guest sarah f]

I feel the same way with my kids. You just have to remember that you are doing this for your own happiness. They are going to be young and ask a lot of questions on why you did this but just answer them honestly and they will get over it.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Soph]

Keep in mind that children are far more accepting and adaptable than adults generally are.

I highly doubt that you would scar the baby. If anything, you would imbue him or her with the idea that gender variance is acceptable, and thus make him or her a better person!

Or I'm an optimist

[Sally]

I would like to think that in this coming generation a lot of the old prejudices will be abandoned and the child will just accept

the Uncle/Aunt for the person that they are, kind and loving and not for anything superficial like appearances.

Children sense emotions more than actual appearance they learn from their parents who to like or dislike.

If your sister is OK with you, the child will be too.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Vivian]

I'm kind of in a simular situation with my niece. She is two years old and I visited this past Thanksgiving. I haven't came out to my sister yet and showed up in male mode. Anyway, the entire time I was there my Sis would point at me and tell my Niece, "uncle". I couldn't help but grin just a little everytime she did that.. In private I discussed this with my brother, who I came out to already, and decided we will cross that bridge whenever I decide to cross it. We kind of laughed and shook our heads about the whole situation.

Love,

Vivian

[Guest ChrisRydia]

Thanks for your replies. My sister has known about this for awhile. She is ok with this. I don't think I would be seeing the baby much, but the baby will be sensing emotions going up and down. I will cross that road in the future.

[Guest cjnoble71]

Kids are pretty adaptable. I was surprised by how easily my brother's youngest accepted "Uncle Bubba" (long story) becoming "Aunt Tina" but he did. My sister's girls have never known me as anything but Aunt Tina and her sixteen year old boy is the nicest, most accepting person you could ever meet. As to you situation, Chris, since you are out with your sister I would include her in any discussion about this. Ultimately it is still your call but it affects her too.

Pax et Amor;

Christine

[Guest JD_Divine]

Ive been thinking about this sort of topic. I am terrified that my lil daughter will be brainwashed by her father when I fully transition... they already think I am lesbian (Im not) and tell her that Im ugly and stupid because I kiss girls and that its wrong... can hardly imagine the magnitude of how its going to effect her later in life. Probably the main reason Im scared to transition...

~JD

[Guest ChloëC]

For your part, when the times come, just interact with the child as much as possible, and really smile and laugh a lot. Read to it as it gets older, do little playthings. For example, my grandfather used to do this with me and I did it with all 3 children - put them on your knee and recite the 'Trot Little Horsie' poem, dropping your knee at the appropriate moment. Every child I've done that loves it and wants it again (including my grandchildren at the right age). What they will remember is the fun times with Uncle or Aunt or whoever, and that's the best.

Hugs

Chloë

[Paula ult]

I am MtF and my SO is FtM, we frequently have a friends daughter for the weekend, she is 2 years old and only knows me as Paula and my SO as Jayden, she is too young to understand what transgender means and is only interested in watching cartoons, interaction with us and getting into trouble, they do not call them the terrible 2's for nothing.

Paula

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Don't worry ChrisR the child will be perfectly fine. You will be amazed. Depending upon age, the child may not even really notice nor remember when you were not Aunty Your sister should understand this too

Brenda

[Guest CharlieRose]

It won't affect them at all. Kids (and by which I mean children like 10 and younger) have a knack for telling your real gender, to the point where it's actually more confusing for them for you to *not* transition. And a baby? The baby probably won't really "know" you for like a year, and they won't know your gender for until they're like two or three. Even then, kids that age think that gender can be easily switched back and forth, so if you switch back and forth it won't confuse them at all.