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Mirrors Are For Masochists


Guest SamIThinkIAm

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Guest SamIThinkIAm

Sometimes it gets hard to take

This weight of the world on my shoulders

I want to self-destruct

Rip myself apart into a million sparkling rainbows

To be free of this torture inside

The world wants me to pick a team

But I don’t want to play ball

I can’t

But they don’t understand

And they’re quick to chase me off the field

They’re quick to strip me naked

Quick to hunt for the answer they want

Force me onto the bench they choose for me

Despite all my screaming protests

And I weep, misunderstood

Mirrors are for masochists

Who else would want the pain?

The reality of the badly chosen flesh before me

The reality of the misassembled pieces

The reality of no other choice

I’m tired of the tumours on my chest

They were never mine, never mine

I’m confronted with the organ

That bleeds and betrays, bleeds and betrays

Yet I do not want a penis

If not woman, you are man

If not man, you are woman

It’s a vile sin to make yourself into the other

But at least for god’s sake

Choose one

I can’t, I can’t

I just, I just don’t know

I want to be free

Free to be me and all that entails

Please, please let me go

No one understands, no one knows

I’m just so frustrated

And there’s no one to hear me out

So I’m slowly going under, bound and gagged

Disgusted with myself and shamed by them

There are no safe havens for me anymore

Everyone is telling me who to be

Who they want me to be

Ignorant of who I am

They can’t see me

Not willing to tolerate

The transgression that my life is because of the disgrace and discomfort

I’ve broken the rules

And so they break me

I thought they were my family

So when the hounds and hunters come

There is no refuge for wretches like me

I’m running for my life in the streets

Depending on an open door, the haven of kin

But they’ve changed the locks and slammed the door in my face

I’m begging through the window glass

Please, please let me in

I thought you loved me

But they draw the curtains and turn their backs

And over my shoulder I hear dogs

Down into the darkness I flee

Down into the grimy solitude

To be alone with myself and fighting

The reflection in the mirror

As I haunt myself ghost-like

Trapped

The only way I can get a breath

Is to don this sheep’s clothing

And join the herd

Otherwise it’s back into the dungeons with me

But I’ll start rotting away from the inside

Crumbling bits of gangrene

From being bottled up too long

When people finally wanted me for me, it was too late

Left in the back of the fridge I expired

-Sam

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Guest Jean Davis

Just wonderful Sam

And there is soo much truth in your words, it's just a shame that people can't get past the exterior of the body and see the true person beneath.

LUV

Jean

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Sam,

I really do find it hard to comment on what you write . I am not

a poet nor am I a critic. I have read your last two poems and honestly ,

I have cried reading them and , for a brief moment , **fallen into **

what you write . I guess thats just me , love your stuff , I do . viv :)

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Oh Sam,

Do not be concerned about a lack of comments on poetry - so many people are afraid to comment because they do not feel qualified - or because poetry and its meaning become so much more personal to the reader than most prose.

I look at the viewed count and know that someone has read it and that in itself is enough to encourage me to post another view into my soul.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Donna Jean

Yeah, Sam....

Totally what Sally said....look at the count to see how many folks have looked at it..it's not a picture, so you know that if someone clicked on it, they read it, too.

I'm not a poetry critic, but I read everything that is put up here.....

I do like it....

Love it really, but, that's a personal thing...

Thanks, Hon!

Donna Jean

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  • 2 weeks later...

Mirror mirror on the wall.

Who's the fairest one of all ?

I know a little about mirrors.

I don't know any one that that is truly happy with what they always see in one.

One thing that you will never see in them is what others see in you.

Save one and it was just a fairy tale, :unsure: I think :unsure:

Your beautiful in my eyes -Sam.

:wub: snow white

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