Any Help? ...

[Guest QuietFlower]

So Umm I dunno what to put as a title of this topic but I guess maybe if I explain things someone may be able to help me?

I joined this site quiet awhile back but due to real life complications kinda haven't been able to get on (or be near a computer for substantial amount of time) Anyways...

I live in Colorado now and I moved here recently as my life has kinda forced me to go somewhere new...

So, When I was 14 I kinda knew i was't a guy and i guess that may be odd in and of itself, so i met a friend that was transitioning and she spent time with me and i was able to truly be myself for the first time and i was happy i was able to be feminine and how i should be and able to dress how i should be without being bothered about it...

That being said until i was 16 I played football (though not my choice in the matter) I hated sports and still do very much with a passion. I only played them due to my father being as strict as he was, I have always been bad at sports but due to his rules i kind of had to...

And when I was finally able to convince him to let me leave sports behind he insisted I saw a therapist, and after several I finally got him to agree to send me to a female therapist, but due to me being underage and something I dunno but he got all my information i was telling her - but before i told her i was a girl or felt like one i realized this and never said anything anymore evne though i always wanted to...

Nevermind I guess i'm putting to much of my life into this, I feel i am very feminine and I am in the wrong body, I guess it makes sense i may be MTF but I never asked or questioned it just felt i always been in the wrong body... Now I am in my 20s and looking for therapists still but due to being young and supporting myself money is scarce and its hard to afford these things, anyways if anyone can maybe tell me if what im doing is wrong (as in not for me) or something please tell me since i have been saving money to go forward, I just dunno if i am MTF or what but i feel i am a girl... and act as so...

Sorry for rambling, even this post makes me feel nervous...

[Guest Elizabeth K]

QuietFlower - great descriptive name by the way!

Your story is so much the story of so many people here! The official word is to recommend - like you started - to get the help of a gender trained therapist. Actually - that is SUPER advice! It is hard to find such a therapist in some areas, and it is hard to do all this while in school. BUT - that therapist will turn out to be one of the best friends you ever had! We here at Laura's aren't able to tell you what is going on with you. We don't have training - heck - we have a hard enough time trying to figure out ourselves!

BUT you CAN look at all the forums here. It is such a good way to see what is going on in the 'gender dysphoric' community. People here are all over the diversity scale - perhaps that will help you a little.

And do know we understand probably EVERYTHING you say. We are in most ways exactly the same.

I hope this helps.

So often a new person gets a welcome but no real advice.

Lizzy

As a mod I see you are reading this - PM me anytime if you have questions - I will be glad to talk with you.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Quiet Flower....

You can't go wrong with Lizzy's advice here, Honey...She knows her stuff..

And, guess what? She cares...we all do. My dear girl, we are all in this together..

And when you need someone to talk to...please don't be shy of taking up an offer.

This is all quite hard..from trying to figure out who you are to living with yourself, whatever you decide is right for you.

But, it's doable...people do it everyday.....so many from right here do it....

Let us help if we can.....OK?

HUGGS & LOVE!

Donna Jean

[Guest QuietFlower]

Thank you both makes me feel a little better, always scared to speak up about anything ever really... its nice on here you guys are kind i am always so depressed since its always an act that i hate whenever im around others anyways if I have any questions I will be sure to message you, given I get up the courage... Thanks.

[Guest Chandra]

Dear Quiet Flower,

There is no need to be nervous here, you are at a sanctuary from mainstream stigmas.

You already feel better after Lizzys and Donna Jeans excellent advice, just think how much better you will feel after weeks of being here. Many here share your story and feel passionate about trying to help you through their experiences. You no longer have to hide your true feelings, keeping them bottled up inside of you.

Explore this site, you will find a wealth of information here. Many young people seem to be coming here and feeding off each others courage to open up.

I myself held these feelings inside of me for about 40 years, where they festered and grew like a cancer, which resulted in kind of a desperation. When I first came here I felt the sincerity and caring support which totally blew me away, and changed my life. This is the true power of love, which is life's sweetest gift.

If you feel your mind and body don't jive, they most likely do not. Professional help might be able to pin this down for you. I too will be looking for a GT soon for some advice.

But in the mean time, Laura's can help very much.

Take Care, Love Chandra

[Guest sarah f]

I am sorry you had to live like that as a child. No father should make their kids play a sport if they don't want to. I am glad you are out of that situation. As far as the rest, Lizzy is right on with her post. Just keep on posting and reading and hopefully you will start to understand you are not alone.

Love,

Sarah F