So, So Confusing

[Guest ccdx12321]

Hi everyone,

So, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, but can't seem to figure things out... I really, really wish I was female, I mean everyday I wish I was a girl but I know there is no way I will ever be able to pass. What is really confusing is that I am torn between wanting a long term relationship with a female and just hooking up with a guy. I guess am am emotionally attracted to females but sexually attracted to guys... What makes this more complicated is that I am in no way attracted to guys unless I am dressed and feeling feminine, even if I am not sexually aroused... Does anyone else feel this way? This is really driving me crazy lately and has hindered my attempts at any type of relationship with a girl...

Thanx,

Jess

[Carolyn Marie]

Hi, Jess, and welcome to the Playground.

I think this site is going to be very beneficial for you. A lot of the questions you're asking you'll find answers for in the forums.

You haven't said your age, but if you are in a situation where you could see a gender therapist, that would help you define where you are on

the gender spectrum.

One thing you need to understand is that feelings about your gender identity, and sexual feelings or preferences, are two entirely different things.

One can identify as female and be sexually attracted to men, women, both, or somewhere in between.

We are a moderated site, and all posts are previewed and approved to make sure they abide by the site rules. Please take a few minutes to read the

rules; a link is provided at the top of most pages.

I look forward to reading more about you, Jess. Good luck.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest sarah f]

Welcome to Laura's Jess.

As far as your questions goes, I would say you are going through a perfectly normal stage of your transition. It is really confusing at first to decide what gender you like best. I was and still am partial to women. I have never been with a guy and don't know how I would feel about that. I will tell you when I was younger and before I got married, I thought about being with a guy. I always wondered what it would be like being I was a girl in my own mind.

Keep on posting your questions and we will try to answer them to the best of our knowledge.

Love,

Sarah F

[Sally]

Good Morning Jess,

Would you like to come in and have a seat by the fire?

Let me get you some nice hot cocoa and a fresh batch of warm from the oven cookies, just my way of welcoming you to the forums when you hold that cup in both hands and bring it close to your face can you fell all of the warmth - it isn't all from the cocoa it is from the friendly people here at Laura's, nothing warms the heart, mind and soul like love.

We are a moderated site so do check out the rules, there is a link at the top of almost every page.

We are so glad to have you here and don't worry too much about who you are attracted to, your heart is female along with your mind, it is your body that is out of step - that is why we transition in the first place to get everything working together.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hi, Jess....welcome to the Playground, Hon.

Gee, I think that we all question our sexuality when we begin our transition.....

It's the feelings of what gender you were attracted to and whom you may be attracter to now.

My therapist told me that one doesn't "swing" one way or the other on HRT ...you just allow feelings to appear that you kept down for years..

You never know where this journey will take you!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest ChalenAustin]

Welcome to the forums and nice to meet you!

Sxual attraction dosen't have anything to do with gender identity!

You already got so much great advice the only I guess I'll do is simplify it in one or two sentences.

The important thing is discovering who you are and what makes you feel most comfortable and HAPPY!

The rest like sexual attraction, will all come in due time and dosen't mean anything about how you feel inside gender-wise.

Kick back and relax! You're going to have alot of fun here!

[Guest ccdx12321]

Thanks so much for the responses... yeah, unfortunately I am not really in a position to seek gender counseling right now, hopefully soon... I guess what I am getting at is that I don't feel sexually attracted to females, but emotionally I could never have a relationship with a guy... So I guess since I figured that out I feel kinda depressed like I will never really be able to sustain a long term relationship, and will be alone for ever... Anyways, thought I would use this forum to get other people's input on these things... Oh and I actually understand a lot about gender ID and sexuality, I guess it's difficult to self-diagnose and was hoping for some outside perspective...

Thanx everyone,

Jess

Oh and btw I am not that old, only 21

[Guest Jill Eclipse]

i kind of have the same thing going on. i have more sexual attraction towards one gender and more emotional attraction towards the other gender. i usually (not always) have more sexual feelings for women and more emotional feelings for guys. i only feel sexual towards guys when i look like a girl. it just doesn't feel right to have sexual feelings for a straight guy unless you are feminine. so when i have my makeup off it usually reduces some of those desires.