Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hey...


Guest Flistan

Recommended Posts

Guest Flistan

Umm... yeah

I'm not sure what to say here... I just need advice I guess...

Not even sure if this is the right forum to do this in.

Usually I get all decked out when it comes to accounts and whatnot, but I chose to create new names and everything so no one could connect me to accounts I have elsewhere, just because I'm a little iffy (not for protection just for... comfort). My friend recommended I come here.

A little about me...

*sigh*

Student

Church of Christ mostly liberal

Female

Clinical Depression

Bipolar

Cloud Strife crossplayer (cross dressing while in costume of a character of the opposite gender)

I guess you can say artist and writer

..and I finally connected the dots last weekend- I'm pretty sure I have some gender confusion too. I read up a lot on it, but I'm not sure what to even call myself.

If you ask any of my friends, they'd all say that I'm androgynous, and most everyone who meets me knows I'm straight, although there is the occasional person that asks if I'm a lesbian, of which I am not offended at all. I believe asking is more than assuming, and I actually sort of... like it.

On occasion, I have... the attraction for being treated as male.

I'm pretty sure it's not genetic, and I know what the trigger was, but every now and then I get so into the moment of wishing I was the opposite gender or thinking I will become it (sounds stupid but yeah...) that I sometimes feel gay, although I know it's only the attraction of being male that sets me off and I have no attraction to the female body whatsoever.

I told my mom today... I think she's a little bit in denial but she accepts me for whatever I am, except she said she'd be upset if I were gay (although she'd still accept me then).

Thing is, it's really off and on. I mean, most of my dreams are about me being male, some even involve me cross dressing, fitting in with guys, and other... stuff. Stuff I don't want to talk about too much...

And other times I'm just a girl I guess.

Can there be different levels of GID or transgender-ness? Can it be off and on like my bipolar moods? Am I just androgynous and go back and forth? What should I to about it? Suppress my feelings or act upon them?

I'm supposed to see a psychologist first week of February. Mom isn't going to accept anything until then. I don't really want to do anything extreme... just want to... change my wardrobe out a little I guess. Can't really afford it now but yeah. I already wear a sort of androgynous men's cologne, lol. I don't know if I could even take hormones...

I'm just confused...

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Hey, Hon....

I'm Donna Jean...

Welcome to the Playground!

Do you have a somewhat shorter handle that you would like us to call you?

After reading your intro, I can see that you are already on the right path...the therapist..That's the correct thing to do!

Good on you!

Now, just sit over here and i'll get you some hot coco and a plate of Sally's chocolate chip cookies...

You can just relax and we'll wait for some of the others to come by and say "HI!"...

If you haven't already, could you take a minute to read the forum rules?...Thanks, I'd appreciate it..

And be aware that we are a moderated site and that keeps everyone safe....OK?

So, kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!

It's so nice to have you !

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Flistan

Thanks.

Well... all of my favorite aliases are on other sites... ><

I'm not sure how to change the "display name"- just couldn't think of anything.

I really don't know, I guess Aisling would be okay, not my real name- just a character of mine.

Link to comment
Guest sarah f

Welcome to Laura's Cloud. Your friend was correct in telling you to join this site. Everyone here is so loving and wonderful. Just keep on posting and reading other posts and you will tell that this is the last site you will want to join. I look forward to hearing more about yourself.

Love,

Sarah F

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean
Thanks.

Well... all of my favorite aliases are on other sites... ><

I'm not sure how to change the "display name"- just couldn't think of anything.

I really don't know, I guess Aisling would be okay, not my real name- just a character of mine.

Well, Hon...we'll leave your display name the same...Just call you Aisling here for chat sakes....OK?

Good!

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Hi Cloud (may I call you Cloud?)

Welcome dear to Laura's :)

Now my lamb don't try to label yourself hon.. OK? Gender Identity and Gender Expression is as infinite as the cosmos.

Stay here with us and learn about yourself.

When the time is right for you, you may want to consider seeing a gender therapist, but we can talk about that some other time.

For now, just know that you will find your way, and we will help you :)

Love and HUGS

Brenda

Link to comment

Hello Aisling,

Welcome to the forums, we are a friendly group and we do not pressure anyone - take your time see a gender therapist and find your own comfort level - that is all you need to do - there are all different shades of transgender so you have to find your shade.

This is a good place to look around.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment

Hi Cloud Strife Crossplayer,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We have Androgyne meetings -Wed 7pm est and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 89 Guests (See full list)

    • Ivy
    • Karen Carey
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.9k
    • Total Posts
      770.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,138
    • Most Online
      8,356

    LillyZ
    Newest Member
    LillyZ
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. avery78
      avery78
    2. blinkyrtx
      blinkyrtx
      (25 years old)
    3. Heather Shay
      Heather Shay
      (72 years old)
    4. hormonedifficientin2ways
      hormonedifficientin2ways
    5. IMTH
      IMTH
  • Posts

    • Vidanjali
      Thank you, @Betty K. You did very well in all respects. Please take care of your mental well-being, dear. Digging so deeply into this is bound to affect your inner peace. Don't let it stick to you, if you can. Much love. 
    • BobbiSkunk
      Last night was salmon (on a cedar plank?) and lima beans!  Kind of simple, but I needed that.   ...   Please, if anyone has tasty fish recipes share them?  Also, not sure why the salmon came with a small cedar plank to cook it on, was just looking to try something new.  >.>
    • Karen Carey
      Where am I?   I now have the answer.   A short recap. Having been diagnosed with gender dysphoria last year, at the age of 79, I started an initial dose of HRT in December. My psychiatrist suggested that it was likely to affect me in one of three ways. Firstly, that oestrogen was not right for me and to discontinue it; secondly that it might push me down the road to transition; thirdly that it might temper the dysphoria such that there would be no need to seek further transition. I felt a mix of wanting two and three, but with social transitioning (outside the family) terrifying me.    The first four months produced mild physical and mental changes that I have talked about before, and seem to be common. I felt that the HRT was easing me down the path to transitioning, encouraged by an Endo who was keen to hear of my progress with name-change and coming out further. (This on the assumption that I wanted to increase the HRT. I did not.)   Then, something strange happened.  In April I started reading @SallyStone’s chapters of her life (Sally’s Trans World, a wonderful read).  She made me think hard, and in a slightly different way from before. A switch clicked off.  It was 15th April when the desire to transition left me. Of course, the dysphoria has not wound back to zero.  I still love the feminine, admire the feminine form, and dressing as a woman. But, the urge to transition has gone.  The fear that I may regress just as suddenly is now easing. The result is a much more relaxed me.   My psychiatrist is very pleased (as am I) with the effect that HRT has had on me, and while recognising that GD is still his diagnosis, he recommends staying on the low dose. My GP is delighted that I am not proceeding any further with transition from a medical perspective. For me, the small physical effects that I am experiencing are outweighed by the mental benefits.   I write this to give a different perspective on the value of low-dose HRT. It may help those with GD who are uncertain about transitioning.   Thanks for reading.   Karen  
    • Lydia_R
      Wow!  I just have a banana bread in the bread machine right now.  It's coming out in an hour!!   Yes, I've been making a rye bread lately that I slice thinly and toast.  It reminds me of those rye crisp crackers that I used to eat at the greyhound races in high school.  My dad and his brother were crazy about the greyhound races.  I was more into the crackers and butter.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Wishing to be a normal guy
    • MaeBe
      Another night of lost sleep, the coffee is required. This time my anxiety wasn't about my gender it was about failing to get a job and the craziness we've barely even started working toward moving across the country. My wife must sense my unease, because she tends to wake me up after I've finally gotten back to sleep. :D
    • Lydia_R
      At peace with myself?  Definitely.  I always thought life would get better for me as time passes and it does.  I've learned to dance and sing while doing the dishes and I feel if I can be happy doing that, I can be happy doing almost anything.  I've gone from living on $5/day for years to making $3,200 for an hour of work.  Money doesn't mean much to me personally, but I enjoy paying bills and I love tracking my money and other things.  I'm far from rich (I averaged $33,000/year over 35 years of working), but I have excellent skills.  My personal happiness/success is based on the things I do in my environment.   Am I at peace at work or with others?  Certainly not.  Working with others is always a struggle.  I've always enjoyed being in my workshop.  I'm an artisan like that.
    • Ivy
      We used slide rules and logs in high school.  When my younger brother went to college he had to buy one of those calculators, it wasn't cheap. These days I don't mind using the calculator on my phone at all.  It's a lot simpler than the complicated way my brain processes numbers.
    • Cyndee
      quite steadily putting life's groove on
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,    @Willow & @Mirrabooka I remember my best friend in high school struggling with the transition between the slide rule and the new calculator. He would work out the problem on both to make sure he could trust the calculator.    I spent the day yesterday getting the camper ready for the Summer season of camping and trying to figure out where Parker’s crate would fit best.    Today is unseasonably cool and rainy so the doors and windows are open. The morning songbirds are singing, and the neighborhood is quiet.    The Coffee is warm enough to have visible steam rising from it.    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Lorelei
      I did very well on that civil service test. I am #2 on the list so I am one of the three people eligible for the job if the position opens. Only the top three people are eligible. Keep me in your thoughts that I get an offer. It would be awesome to start somewhere that nobody knew me as a man yet keep my leave credits, seniority and higher pay. 
    • KatieSC
      I thought I was, at least for a while, but overall, no, I am not at peace. I know I am trans, but I also know that a large chunk of my life was miserable. Even with transition just about complete, I still feel as though my life was empty, and in many ways, remains that way. Nothing makes up for that emptiness, or the time lost in life.
    • KatieSC
      Even if the initiative failed, and even if the Democrats take a sweep of the House, Senate, and Presidency, I think we are still going to face many years of backlash. We need to figure out how to win over the hearts and minds of everyday people. We know that we will always exist. The incidence of being transgender is not going to wither away, but getting the attitudes to change after so much polarization will be hard. There are people out there that hate our very existence. While we push for acceptance, there will continue to be points that are unpalatable to the public.    If we take an adversarial approach to our acceptance, I am afraid it will cause further derision. The public at large needs to see us being more like they are, and see us successful, rather than being portrayed in a negative light. Even if we survive the political upheaval of this year, I suspect we will see more of the same when the election in 2028 occurs. If it is not more Trump, it will be his sycophantic disciples. We should be prepared for the long haul. 
    • Birdie
      Not wearing them yet, but I have these ordered:   I'll pick them up Saturday
    • KatieSC
      It would be fitting if he took a dip in the ocean while he is up there in Massachusetts and the great white eats him. Maybe it is just me, but tell me again how this guy is supposed to be a great actor?? I just do not get that vibe. It is mind of matter. It is my mind and he doesn't matter.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...