Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hey...


Guest Flistan

Recommended Posts

Guest Flistan

Umm... yeah

I'm not sure what to say here... I just need advice I guess...

Not even sure if this is the right forum to do this in.

Usually I get all decked out when it comes to accounts and whatnot, but I chose to create new names and everything so no one could connect me to accounts I have elsewhere, just because I'm a little iffy (not for protection just for... comfort). My friend recommended I come here.

A little about me...

*sigh*

Student

Church of Christ mostly liberal

Female

Clinical Depression

Bipolar

Cloud Strife crossplayer (cross dressing while in costume of a character of the opposite gender)

I guess you can say artist and writer

..and I finally connected the dots last weekend- I'm pretty sure I have some gender confusion too. I read up a lot on it, but I'm not sure what to even call myself.

If you ask any of my friends, they'd all say that I'm androgynous, and most everyone who meets me knows I'm straight, although there is the occasional person that asks if I'm a lesbian, of which I am not offended at all. I believe asking is more than assuming, and I actually sort of... like it.

On occasion, I have... the attraction for being treated as male.

I'm pretty sure it's not genetic, and I know what the trigger was, but every now and then I get so into the moment of wishing I was the opposite gender or thinking I will become it (sounds stupid but yeah...) that I sometimes feel gay, although I know it's only the attraction of being male that sets me off and I have no attraction to the female body whatsoever.

I told my mom today... I think she's a little bit in denial but she accepts me for whatever I am, except she said she'd be upset if I were gay (although she'd still accept me then).

Thing is, it's really off and on. I mean, most of my dreams are about me being male, some even involve me cross dressing, fitting in with guys, and other... stuff. Stuff I don't want to talk about too much...

And other times I'm just a girl I guess.

Can there be different levels of GID or transgender-ness? Can it be off and on like my bipolar moods? Am I just androgynous and go back and forth? What should I to about it? Suppress my feelings or act upon them?

I'm supposed to see a psychologist first week of February. Mom isn't going to accept anything until then. I don't really want to do anything extreme... just want to... change my wardrobe out a little I guess. Can't really afford it now but yeah. I already wear a sort of androgynous men's cologne, lol. I don't know if I could even take hormones...

I'm just confused...

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean

Hey, Hon....

I'm Donna Jean...

Welcome to the Playground!

Do you have a somewhat shorter handle that you would like us to call you?

After reading your intro, I can see that you are already on the right path...the therapist..That's the correct thing to do!

Good on you!

Now, just sit over here and i'll get you some hot coco and a plate of Sally's chocolate chip cookies...

You can just relax and we'll wait for some of the others to come by and say "HI!"...

If you haven't already, could you take a minute to read the forum rules?...Thanks, I'd appreciate it..

And be aware that we are a moderated site and that keeps everyone safe....OK?

So, kick off your shoes and make yourself at home!

It's so nice to have you !

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest Flistan

Thanks.

Well... all of my favorite aliases are on other sites... ><

I'm not sure how to change the "display name"- just couldn't think of anything.

I really don't know, I guess Aisling would be okay, not my real name- just a character of mine.

Link to comment
Guest sarah f

Welcome to Laura's Cloud. Your friend was correct in telling you to join this site. Everyone here is so loving and wonderful. Just keep on posting and reading other posts and you will tell that this is the last site you will want to join. I look forward to hearing more about yourself.

Love,

Sarah F

Link to comment
Guest Donna Jean
Thanks.

Well... all of my favorite aliases are on other sites... ><

I'm not sure how to change the "display name"- just couldn't think of anything.

I really don't know, I guess Aisling would be okay, not my real name- just a character of mine.

Well, Hon...we'll leave your display name the same...Just call you Aisling here for chat sakes....OK?

Good!

Donna Jean

Link to comment
Guest ~Brenda~

Hi Cloud (may I call you Cloud?)

Welcome dear to Laura's :)

Now my lamb don't try to label yourself hon.. OK? Gender Identity and Gender Expression is as infinite as the cosmos.

Stay here with us and learn about yourself.

When the time is right for you, you may want to consider seeing a gender therapist, but we can talk about that some other time.

For now, just know that you will find your way, and we will help you :)

Love and HUGS

Brenda

Link to comment

Hello Aisling,

Welcome to the forums, we are a friendly group and we do not pressure anyone - take your time see a gender therapist and find your own comfort level - that is all you need to do - there are all different shades of transgender so you have to find your shade.

This is a good place to look around.

Welcome to the family.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment

Hi Cloud Strife Crossplayer,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules. :)

We have Androgyne meetings -Wed 7pm est and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

:wub: vanna

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 54 Guests (See full list)

    • Birdie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,103
    • Most Online
      8,356

    BUGFIEND
    Newest Member
    BUGFIEND
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bobbijean
      Bobbijean
    2. Bryan
      Bryan
      (61 years old)
    3. jlw5ju
      jlw5ju
      (27 years old)
    4. ladykirabellum
      ladykirabellum
      (47 years old)
    5. Lizzie17
      Lizzie17
  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not to justify it, but this is what happens when folks rely on accepting money from the government.  It just isn't secure!  When the times change and different winds blow, you find yourself coming up short on funds.  Don't trust the feds, don't trust the state.    I don't believe in separation of church and state.  I believe the USA is a Christian nation, but that Congress doesn't make an establishment of which kind of church that refers to.  Reading the writings left by the Founders (who were mostly Christian or Deist), I think it is pretty clear that they wanted to avoid the bloody Protestant vs. Catholic conflicts that had been going on in Europe for the previous 250 years.    I think one huge problem is that we've had a separation of culture and state already.  There's been an abandonment of traditional American culture, or at least a significant change in it.  People often act servile, not independent.  People seek government help rather than taking care of themselves and those around them.  Its like everybody is waiting for an answer, like baby birds in the nest chirping to have something delivered to them from up above.    To me, the federal government has two purposes - to keep foreign forces and influence out of our territory, and to tax foreign trade to protect domestic economy.  They've pretty much failed at both. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, yes!  Its how I met my two trans friends.  My husband helped to arrange jobs and housing for both of them.  And in the process, they also fell in love, and so far their relationship is going well.  I'm glad to have been part of helping out.
    • KathyLauren
      I am not sure what "it" you are asking about.  The surgery, or the increased urgency of peeing?   I haven't felt any increased urgency.  I can hold it for as long as I used to, I think.  One thing that is different is that, once I start, it is almost impossible to stop the flow.  My pelvic floor physio said I had really good control of my pelvic floor muscles, but it didn't help with that.   My goal for surgery was just to have a female body.  I think I was foreseeing the persecution that is rising now.  Part of my reasoning, though I didn't plan it out clearly in those terms, was that I would be able to pass a strip-search gender check.  I was thinking more about passing in locker rooms, but passing in police lineups may be more necessary if certain political elements get their way.  
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  That's crazy that somebody just comes onto your private place and starts demanding stuff.  You're absolutely right to press charges.  It seems like there's very little respect for private property these days. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Actually, my husband has two different job titles at his company.  He's transportation manager, and also one of the project managers.  Its funny because he's got an office in the main building, and a smaller one in the transportation building, and he's rarely in either one.  He's got three site foremen who report to him, and also the shop supervisor and drivers' supervisor.  So he usually spends his days at installation sites, meeting clients, or handling all the paperwork that keeps the transportation side of the business compliant with FMCSA rules.    But he's definitely a truck driver by personality, and he taught me how to drive and helped me get my CDL.  Kind of a backup option for a job if I ever needed one.  I think this week is going to be one of those "all hands on deck" kind of occasions, so we'll probably take a load or two.  I'm looking forward to it.  Its really funny when I'm driving and we get into a truck stop.  I get out of the cab, and I get a lot of stares because of my size and looking like I'm a teenager.  And we get more stares when we share a shower.  
    • Lydia_R
      Yep, this thing is a red flag that people should be super aware of on this site.  I've been working from home exclusively for 12 years.  I'm a house cat like that, so this isn't much of a deterrent for me.  I've been venturing out into the women's restrooms a little bit lately, but as is typical of people like me, I'm just in there to do my business and get out.  I avoid that as much as I can and use those single bathrooms whenever I can.  I went over a year without going to a public restroom.  I just don't go out much.   I haven't stood to pee in 7 years now.  The idea of surgery is very, very scary for me (I wrote a book about it).  I'm likely going to do it though.  I would like some evidence from other transwomen of what it is really like.  I'm not one to take plane flights, but taking a flight for that is well justified.  Before my testosterone was blocked, there was a much larger sexual side to M->F transition.  Now sexuality plays a back seat to the idea of wanting to pee like a woman.  It's always been in my mind, but the desire for that has grown.   Respectfully, Lydia_R
    • April Marie
      Just a black skort and a yellow t-shirt with sneakers today.
    • Birdie
      Wearing my new top for my Zoom meeting today. ☺️
    • Lydia_R
      I've gotten to the point lately where I'm thinking of the extension of the separation of church and state to separation of culture and state.  Government's purpose to ensure a construct of civility.  Food, clothing, shelter and justice for the individual.  That includes the roads as far as they pertain to the distribution of food, clothing and shelter.  And "ensure" is different than "provide".   I think that there is no way to truly express yourself or have a good foundation without having a personal culture.  I like telling stories and teaching lessons through my culture, but I always hope that people don't think I'm promoting my culture beyond it just being visible as an option.
    • KatieSC
      I would imagine the GOPers are holding that by bull in their hand and paying attention to the Trump version with the nine commandments highlighted.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Having to call the police on a woman that was being a Karen.Was in my shop fixing my car and wanted me to fix hers.Told her it was my personal shop and told her no.Would not take no for an answer and called the police.I did decide to press trespassing charges on her.I knew she was one of those entitled people
    • Ivy
      It is scary, (and as you say, thrilling) at first.  But the more you do it the easier it gets.  I dress fem 24/7 (almost always skirts and dresses) and I live in a conservative county of a "red state".   Sure, there are places I avoid, but I have little desire to be there anyway.  It gets to just be part of who you are.   My experience is that most people don't care, some are curious, and surprisingly many (usually other women) friendly.   The first steps are the hardest.  It's similar with bathrooms.
    • Ivy
      Don't know how this posted itself.  To continue…   There was a time when I tried to make excuses for them.  But I am coming to the realization that in their eyes, I, and those like me, are 2nd class citizens at best.
    • Ivy
      There is a rather large part of the GOP that is determined to strip the rights of trans citizens, despite us being a small minority, some with families, who work, pay taxes, and who do - and have served in our armed forces, are medics, nurses, etc.   They insist that the US is a "christian country" - referring to their particular brand of christianity.  And this is despite the constitution, that they claim near worship of, expressly prohibiting this very thing.    
    • Lydia_R
      Oregon has a law that allows you to change your name and gender once in your lifetime without involving the courts.  It took me about 2.5 months to complete and was relatively easy.  It came up yesterday about how I changed my gender on my ID to F instead of X.  I identify with M->F, not X.  I passed over the line into F, but I'm still near the middle in the spectrum.  And I intend to keep going in the F direction.  There is another transwoman named Rachel Rand who is about 10 years older than me and I use her as a model for where I want to be in 10 years.   I'm a proud Gen X'er, but it's based on latchkey arcade games, not gender.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...