What's In A Name?

[Guest Penelope]

I should apologise to you good ladies and guys on this site for not having introduced myself properly. After nearly seven months it’s a bit late; but still, maybe, better than never. My male persona (whom I refer to as Bloke) stumbled on Laura’s Playground in his search for answers; when he had finally admitted to himself, at 56, that he had a lifelong tendency to cross dress. At which point, I finally burst into conscious existence and demanded a voice of my own. I then went ahead with gusto in the blogs section and omitted the normal courtesies.

Like the rest of you we had to choose a name. Bloke remembered an incident from his naïve (rather than innocent) youth when he had suggested that he thought it would be nice to be like a character in a 1960’s UK television series called Thunderbirds, created by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson (see www.myscifi.co.uk/thunderbirds.html or www.bbc.co.uk/cult/anderson/thunderbirds ).

This was not the action men, but the elegant, independent and sophisticated Lady Penelope; even if she did move around on wires and had impossibly large eyes. He just loved her slightly husky and sexy voice too! (Sylvia’s I believe.)

You can imagine that Bloke’s school mates did not let him forget that in a hurry.

Thereafter, he developed a very tough skin and kept any such thoughts and feelings well hidden. We feel that he may have developed such an effective carapace over the years that it has concealed some of his identity from himself. We are now trying to dissolve the hide.

A lot of you are fired with certainty that you are transsexual (or were, and have adjusted your physical selves to match your true gender). Others among you have discovered your true selves over time, often with the help of this web site. We are among the latter. Until then we stick to what we know. Bloke is a cross dresser; I am part of him; we don’t know if he is any more than mildly transgender. I don’t even know if Penelope is my correct name but I like it for now.

If I’m still eligible for your welcome, I’m a tea and buttered toast kind of girl (just like Lady P., apparently). Chocolate is not one of my vices.

Hugs,

Ms. P. xxx

[Guest viv]

Well Hi Penelope,,,,you are so welcome to Laura"s .

One of the other mods will be along in a minute or

so to say a big HI, probably Sally with a nice mug

of cocoa . In the meantime why not have a look

at our Forum Rules,,,there is alink at the top of the

page ,,,,,luv,viv

[Guest sarah f]

Well here is a long over due Welcome to Laura's. I am glad you decided to let us know a little about yourself. Keep on posting.

Love,

Sarah F

[Paula ult]

Happy belated welcome to Laura's Ms. P,

There are a number of us in our 50's and 60's here, i happen to be 57 and started my journey 19 months ago.

Sounds like you are unsure if you are a crossdresser or trans, may i suggest some sessions with a gender therapist to help you figure things out.

Paula

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Penelope!

Welcome to the Playground, Honey!

First, let me tell you that I watched the "Thunderbirds" in the 60's, too...it was on here in the states, as well! (I'm 60)

And you, like all of us, have gender dysphoria...what kind and just how much is yet to be seen...The gender therapist is a grand idea...that can help you sort your head out and help you to see just what you need to do!

It's so nice to have you here!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I have this sudden urge to call you Penny! Such a sweet name!

WELCOME - you are not only welcome (crossdesser - self diagnosed) but NEEDED HERE! Not enough of you people here! Technically most all we MTF crossdressed, but there is a difference. We need you here to help others understand the difference. I estimate there is 1 transsexal person (MTF or FTM) per 190,000 people. Discounting female crossderessers (by definition - hard to identify) about one male in 100 is a crossdresser to some degree - probably more. Sooooo

VOODOO MATH here = about 3 to 1 ration MTF / FTM - so one in 2/3rds of 190,000 are MTF = 1 in 127,000

So 1270 crossdressers per one true MTF transsexual.

Laura's is for gender dysphoric which INCLUDES crossdressing. MANY many many MTF here - where are the CDers???

My opinion? Its a more private matter being a crossdresser (I did it for 50 plus years - almost undetected) But when you are trans - EVERYONE finds out!

BUT - We Trans get really lonely! We NEED a support site! CDers here may be just looking to see what gender dysphoria is all about - I think! BUT we NEED that CD experience - especially the older 'ladies' to help the younger people work through their insecurities.

Besides - Cross Dressers tend to have fancier clothes and have make-up tips! GRIN

So Sweet Penelope! WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!

And gosh you are soooooooo old! HEE HEE

(many here in their 60's - one of our fearless leaders just turned 70!)

Silly Lizzy - I get that way! SORRY

oh yes - ummmmm.... age 62

[Carolyn Marie]

A very belated welcome, Penelope. I'm glad you decided to make a formal introduction.

Good for you!

Like Donna Jean, I watched Thunderbirds in my youth and remember it well. I remember the Lady

Penelope character too. There are a whole bunch of us still into science fiction, which you might be able

to tell from my "Personal Statement."

Like Lizzy said, there are many CDers here. Not only do you have a Forum, but there is a moderated

Chat session every week too. But, you probably knew that, huh?

I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Welcome Penelope,

I am so glad that you have decided to join in the conversations here at Laura's

Welcome!!!

HUGS

Brenda

[Guest casper]

Hi Penelope,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have Cross Dressers meetings -Tues 8pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest Penelope]

Dear Ladies,

Thank you for your warm welcomes.

From my forays into the various forums on this site I certainly recognise your names. I do hope to keep posting a CD (currently) point of view here and there within your discussions. At times they provoke me to bang away on my keyboard. Sometimes, something just arises in my mind and I feel impelled to share it.

Dear, skittish, Lizzie,

I am still rather reticent about buying clothes, which I still have to do in guy mode and without SO support. Being currently unemployed I can't spend very much either. But I do have some threads that please me and I seem to have a reasonable sense of suitable colours, and of what goes with what.

I am also reminded of something Noel Coward wrote: "it doesn't take much to be chic nowadays; one just needs line and lipstick!". It's good enough for my SO and it seems good enough for me; even if our chosen colours are different.

I know I'm a bit of an old girl now but I don't think I'm a frump.

Big huggs to you all,

Penelope. (Penny wise but, hopefully, not pound foolish.)

[gennee]

Welcome to the forums, Penelope. I started my journey at age 56. I'm 61 now and love my life as a transgender woman.

Gennee

[Guest Penelope]

Dear Gennee,

Thank you for your welcome. I'm so pleased that you have found and love your destination.

I really don't know where my journey will end. I am discovering interesting things on the way and I don't feel in any hurry.

Huggs,

Penelope

[Guest ricka]

Welcome to Laura's dear Penelope! I am just imagining having a chat with you on a rainy afternoon, in front of a warm fire and having tea and buttered toast. Sounds wonderful. However you define and understand yourself you will find so much in common with your family here.

Ricka

[Guest Penelope]

Dear Ricka,

Thank you for your lovely, warm, greeting.

Funnily enough my SO and I have lit a fire here today and have just been drinking tea. No toast this time but really crusty bread with butter and her home made redcurrant/blackcurrant jam. Such things help drive away the winter gloom.

I'm really beginning to feel at home on Laura's site.

Penelope.

[Guest sienna]

Welcome Penelope! I'm new myself, but it seems like a great place. Glad to have you.

Don't worry too much about buying things being in guy mode. There are many places to get what you need I think even if you don't have SO support. For makeup items go to a store with a self-checkout if you have one nearby. No one knows, looks, or cares, what you're buying. Add in some regular grocery items like deoderant, milk or whatever. You may want to go to a store not near your house to examine the make-up row more carefully. Bring a small grocery list with you. People will think you are looking to buy for a SO. I've had women stop and help me find stuff. My wife sent me on many errands. Don't be nervous. Just act like a guy shopping.

Clothes aren't too hard to get either. onehanesplace.com is great for hosiery, bras, and undies. Just got to figure out what size you are. Places like jcpenney.com you can find nice looking things at resonable prices and they can ship to your house. Again learning your size, mainly trial and error, will help.

Good luck with your job search.

Sienna

[Guest Penelope]

Thank you for your kind greeting, Sienna.

I do believe this is a good place; it has encouraged me to feel free and begin to discover my true self. This must take its own course; I have no timetable or targets.

I am much more bothered by the lack of a job than by any CD or transgender issues. I feel out of the real world and miss the social aspects of being at work. I need to use my brain. Doing jobs about the house is not an adequate substitute.

Hugs,

Penelope

(P.S. I am currently in full Ms. P regalia: including clothes, shoes, wig and make up; all bought by me; except the dress, which was handed down by my SO.)