So How Do I Stop

[Guest Danielle J]

I have been using alcohol to cope for several years. But now I've finally have come to terms with myself and talked to a GT.

But then I haven't worked it out with my wife, I am so afraid of hurting her, I have told her that I wanted to transition but I don't think

she believed me. I have been slowly getting more feminine at home.But I don't think she really believes I'm serious. So conversely I tend to drink to much

Which won't do me any good when I get my letter.

Much Love, Danielle

[Sally]

Dear Danielle,

Wanting to quit is the first and hardest step.

You realize that you are not drinking for pleasure or enjoyment but to escape and those escapes are shorter and shorter so you drink more to produce the required numbing effect.

The problem is that you have done nothing to ease the problem - only delay facing it.

You have got to tell yourself that drinking is no help and when you want to take drink force yourself to do something else - anything else like crossword puzzles to occupy your mind - find something that is not self destructive and substitute it for drinking and when you are up to it - have that talk with your wife but not when you have been drinking - show her that you are serious by approaching it from sobriety - at least two weeks worth.

It is your best chance.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest sarah f]

Sally said it best. Show your wife that you are serious by not drinking. Tell her you have to quit so that you can transition. Then she might start taking you seriously. Good Luck

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest casper]

Dear Danielle,

<<<hug>>>

Yep you have to want to quit.

Maybe you can find something that means more to you than drinking.

I quit drinking and smoking 2 years ago and I'm not looking back.

I decided that my desire to transition was greater than my desire to drink and smoke.

I'm saving my liver for estrogen

vanna

[Guest Robin/bobbi]

Here are some AA speaker tapes about how others got sober...

http://scvaaconvention.org/Speaker_Files.htm

www.aa.org

[Guest aDORAble]

I'm really appreciate Sally's response to this subject and our delima.

I'd quote her remarks but they go so deep that you would need a 200 page journal to keep your answers and questions. Not that that isn't a good thing. It takes a lot to introduce yourself to that other side.

But really.. first tackle fear and be comfortable with yourself. Not two exclusive emotions.

Chin up kiddo,

Dora