Sorry

[Guest SamIThinkIAm]

The pain swirls like a carousel

Aches deep in my chest

Lip trembles, throat shakes

Long whine escapes---breakdown

And the walls and tears come crashing down

Wish I could hold you high away from all this

Give you a shelter from this storm

Take away your pain

Put an end to this sickening, sad game

But I’m helpless--useless

I’m sorry no one was ever there

And no matter how hard I tried

No matter how good I was

I could never make it better

I’m sorry I failed

Now I have to leave you

Even though I never accomplished anything

Never fixed what I was supposed to

I’m sorry I was never good kid

Never listened and always sick

I’m sorry I grew up too fast

Never said a word about the pain I held inside

That you only saw when I would explode

Couldn’t see

That I was just adding to your grief

I’m sorry that you were on the streets

Way too young to be out alone

Mother tossed you out and you left to save your sanity and dad the trouble

Barely thirteen and on the run from cops and foster homes

Working underage, under tables--when you weren’t locked up

I’m sorry that all you ever wanted--even as the years flew by

Was a happy childhood

And after you tried so hard to give your little girl everything you never had

That the doctors duped you the day I was born

And I have to kill her--so I can peel back her skin

And let your son breathe

Please

Please

Please, forgive me

I’m so sorry

Please---just say you still love me

-Sam

[Guest viv]

Oh my ,,Sam. Tears running down my face . I wish you the best hun .

I hope you and your Mom are cool with one another. you are so

special hun,,,,,you fly and do your thing,,,be the man you know you

are ,,,luv,,viv

[Guest Donna Jean]

OHhhh, Sam

Just made me really tear up.....

snif'....snif'...

oh my goodness, Hon...that was beautiful, sad, and heartfelt.....

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Sam, that was beautiful. Really.

It brought tears to my eyes, and that says a lot.

I hope it has a good effect on your mom. I hope it brings the two of you together.

Please let us know if she reads it and what her reaction is. We care.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Jennifer T]

My heart aches for both you and your mom...

Praying.

[Guest sarah f]

That is really heart felt and good Sam. I am trying to hold it in right now. I hope you and your mom can get through this.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Sam, I feel the pain you are going through. Thank you for inspiring my own sadness drenched post. The letter I can never send to my own Mum

[Sally]

Sam,

That was beautiful and the suffering so real it is undeniable.

I hope that you and your mother can both come to terms with your condition.

You obviously are a very loving son and even if she could choose a son for herself, she could do no better.

Love ya,

Sally