Need Some Advice Here

[Guest Archer]

Hey, well first im new so hey!

But heres the problem im 80% sure im F2M, but its hard cos I want to do the surgeys and stuff but as you all know its a huge step and not one i can go back on...

ive never felt comftable in my skin, when i drag up as a guy i dunno its like a power surge i suddenly feel comftable but not 100% as im aware its just make up and stuff...

i always find myself thinking about how happy id be if i was a guy and i find it alot easier to imagine myself with well you know than just the body im in.

i dunno i feel stupid writing this now because thinking over what ima say it makes it alot more obvious but i even remember asking my dad once as a kid why i wasnt a boy, i never hung out with the girls i prefered it with the guys never ever understood the whole make up and boys chat. (i even started a playground war boys against girls i gathered the boys was funny i was like 12 at the time)

i got a binder on its way as the only reason why i dont drag up 24/7 is cos of the pain of the bandages and to be honest alot of girls have seen me topless because i just cant do it on my own lol but that makes me so uncomftable people seeing me in girl form, (to make matters worse is im meant to be moving up to another city like 6 hour train journy away to be with this girl and i dunno how on earth ima tell her i want to be a guy, we discussed my sexual habits and shes extremly uncomftable with me using my strap on...so i cant use it which just scares me to death as i dont like it without...)

i guess im not really confused i mean i am abit feminie but more like butch kinda gay man feminie not like woman kind.... i dunno what do you guys think? as a personal opinion i know no ones really a proffessional....

oh and also to people that have already had the surgery another thing worrying me is the scarring and down their... how well does it pass?? i know it depends on how u treat the scars and the doctors but in general...i mean i saw this one guy on youtube in america and it took me awhile to be convinced he used to be a she.

i know u also have to go a certain amount of time living as a guy but i have no problem with that i go into mens toilets anyways i get a load of odd stares but i just tell em im a lesbian and the girls toilet lines is packed and in general i get no problem responses so i have no worrys about going into mens loos but how long exactly u gotta do it for??

sorry i know this is long but just wanna get as much info as possible i read alot about it but nothing beats personal opinions and responses.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Archer,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Perhaps Counseling with a gender therapist could answer a lot of your questions. It wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

MaryEllen

[Guest Just_Call_Me_Nick]

First off...never feel stupid expressing your thoughts...because they are not stupid...and they are real thoughts.

As for the girl...well in time you will find one that really accepts who you are...when you know who you are. I have...and its great!

Just keep expressing your thoughts...that alone is a move in the right direction and like Mary Ellen said a good therapist can really do wonders on a deeper level.

Nick~