About Me

[Guest Megan188]

Hi you guys, my name is Megan. I'm a seventeen-year-old MTF transgendered girl. At a very young age, my personal interests often edged quite a bit more towards the girly side of things and not the boyish ones. Since I was physically male, however, I kind of forced myself to "be" a boy and harshly kept myself away from girly things as my childhood continued. Although I somewhat adapted to this, I never really felt TRULY boyish. When I reached puberty, however, my feelings started to change a lot. I had pretty much never really imagined myself as a girl beforehand, but it was during this time that my inner feelings truly woke up and told me that I really wanted to be a girl. At first, I didn't really know why exactly I happened to be this way, and eventually I left it alone for a little while. But ultimately, around 2006, my transgendered feelings came back, and this time more serious. And it's been truly bothering me ever since, not to mention I feel girlier and girlier as time progresses. Because I've always somehow felt like a girl inside, I've made a lot effort and thought to understand who I am, and the more I do so, the more certain I am that I want to ultimately transition into a female.

For some more specific details about myself, I identify myself to be bisexual, but nonetheless distinctly female at the core of it. Although I think women are pretty, I often think to myself, more than anything else, that "I wish I were her" when I see one whom I'm attracted to; being in a real relationship with one just doesn't feel right to me. In fact, I don't think trying to play the role of a male in general feels right to me. I see a lot of myself in other women, if you know what I mean. When I am attracted to a man (and usually, it's manly men), I actually fall in love with him, like I want to be in a relationship with him. I haven't come out publically yet, since I'm still in high school and it wouldn't sit well with all of my family, but truly, I feel like I'm a girl trapped within a boy's body. I may not be the most effeminate person you've ever met, but I still feel far more enthusiastic about embracing life as a female than as a male.

My parents were confused by all of this when I originally told them I wanted to be a girl, but they've become a lot more accepting of this as I've grown older, even though they still want me to be careful about my ultimate decision. My younger sister has a harder time dealing with this, however, and so I'm especially conservative about revealing who I am until she is old enough to feel comfortable about it. I'm hoping I can start transitioning sometime in college, but for the moment, I'm forced to keep all of this hidden while I continue to plan what I want to do for a living.

Anyway, that's who I am. I hope you guys can understand where I'm coming from, and hopefully I won't be discouraged from my enormous desire to become a female, as I often fear.

<3 Megan

[MaryEllen]

Hello Megan,

Welcome to Laura's PLayground. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You're among friends here so don't be afraid to ask questions.

MaryEllen

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Megan...

Welcome to the Playground, Honey!

I'm Donna Jean and I have the Goodie Cart with me...

So, let me make you comfortable with a cup of hot coco and a plate of Sally's cookies...OK?

Now...please take a moment to read the forum rules...you'll find a link at the top of most pages...and we moderate this forum to keep it safe for everyone!

I really liked your intro post...you really told us a lot about yourself!

I know that you're really gonna like it here!

It's so nice to have you!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hey Megan

Welcome to the family, sooo nice to meet you.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Megan

Don't worry hon - you story is sooooo typical I think you definately belong here. Its a wonderful thing your parents sorta understand! WOW that is a big hurdle!

You DO need to get diagnosed. A gender dysphoria trained therapist is the key - and they can be hard to find - So stay with us on that - we might be able to help.

And your instincts about your sister sound right-on! Its a delicate thing.

And yes - I knew about age 3 1/2 - asked my mother - she had a fit - so I went underground, playacting as a male - it seems, forever! And yes - I was like you - never a feminine boy, just not exactly a masculine one.

Women? To this day I get so jealous that they do and are what I want to be! DANG DANG DANG - so lucky to be the female self they are naturally - and flaunt it! I want all that!

But our journey is different. We have to earn our right to be ourselves. IT TAINT EASY!

So welcome welcome welcome - and PLEASE don't disappear after that wonderful, detailed introduction. We are totally non-judgemental, we understand instantly, and we try to be super supportive. After all where else can you find people like ourselves, and in a protective environment.

Lizzy

[Guest swee'pea]

Hi Megan,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have MTF meetings-Mon & Sat 9pm est, and Teens meetings -Sat 1pm est & Sunday 8pm est and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest supervixenxxx]

Hi Megan!

Welcome sister. I have news for you: You're perfectly normal. Everything you shared I can certainly relate to, and to be able to be open about who you are is a true blessing. It took me the better part forty years to reach that point and I couldn't be happier now. I believe the best therapists are sisters who are out living their lives. You are in a very special position at your age to mentor and set an example for sisters of all ages who are looking at their challenges sometimes in isolation. The sisters who I encountered in my thirties, whether they noticed me or not all made such an impression on me, just to see them going about their day gave me hope, inspiration and eased the discomfort I felt. You go girl!

Best wishes and many smiles!

Jen

[Guest Shane_82]

Welcome

~ Shane

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Welcome to Laura's

[Guest Megan188]

Thanks a lot for the support, everyone! I'm really glad to be in the company of others who have similar feelings and can thus relate to my situation.

<3 Megan