Time To Go

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Tears burning in his eyes

Anger boiling in his cold veins

Heart pounding slowly in his ears

Staring at his freedom

Thirty tiny capsules of death

Trying to remember why he has stayed this long

Feeling defeated

Failure

He doesn't belong here

Alone

Maybe it really is time for him to go

[Sally]

Alex, Sweetheart,

You are getting very dark again and this is frightening to me - I hope that this poem is an outlet for those sort of feelings and not something that you are contemplating.

Please let me know.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Jean Davis]

Dito on what Sally said.

Please PM someone if you are feeling this way.

We don't want to see anything happen to you.

Care about you honey.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I ALWAYS say "I don't belong here!"

This is the first time I have heard anyone else say it.

The HELL with everyone - I gonna MAKE a place for myself!

It's their problem not mine!

Lizzy

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Thirty capsules, three capsules, three hundred capsules....

Zero capsules belong in you.

Hey there Alex. Where are you now? You don't have to do this. There is so much more to see yet.

Throwing in the towel? Defeated? You? No, I don't think so. That is not the Alex I know.

Do you have any idea how awesome life becomes when you have dominion over it?

Alex, througout my life I had many excuse and reason to end it. I have been in the blackest of black. The darkest pit of despair seemingly beyond hope.

I have been to the point of just hanging on to one minute to the next.

What I know now is that even at your darkest moments, your deepest winters in your life. Spring does come. For each day that I have rejoiced, I think back to previous days of blackness and realize that if I ended things then, I would have never kknown the joy of life now.

You don't have to take those pills. Those pills are not a part of you. Throw them away.

Tomorrow is a new day

Love you Alex

Brenda

[Guest Aarianna]

Alex,

verlaß mich nicht, for I will not be the same without you. I know I have told you I do not know all the pain of what you have gone through. And I every day wish instead of what is happening to you that it would instead happen to me. Ich liebe dich immer und ewig. You are my brother and I dont ever want you to give up no matter what. You know you will always have me through whatever happens from here on out in your life and you have always had me ever since that first day we met. We are closer than friends. We are brother and sister.

No matter the circumstances, no matter the trials, I will try to remain here with you as long as I can to help you and be there with open arms to help you through. Isnt it enough that you belong in my heart? Isnt it enough for you to keep on going knowing someone cares about you as much as I do? Isnt it enough knowing that you will get through and can defeat what is going on maybe with some help from those around us? When I accomplish my writings and when I am able to be out on my own and not worry about where my next meal is going to be or where i am going to live next. When I get money I will move closer and help you out. I just hope you wont ever push me away because you my brother, you are so valuable in my eyes.

It may not be the same as if I were physically right next to you but this will have to do right now I guess in order for us to both change the way we live. In order to show ourselves we can get through and we can maybe live to fight another day.

Ich hoffe, ich bin nicht in Ermangelung Sie

Du sind in der Nähe zu meinem Herzen so you are not alone and you do belong in this world.

I hope that you try to keep fighting with all your strength because I cannot tell you what is to come if you do not try.

Remember.

Ich liebe dich immer und ewig

Deine Schwester,

Aarianna

[Guest KellyKat]

I too have had moments of deepest darkest pain,

Felt so small in a world that held nothing but disdain and oppression.

And have stood at the brink of it all screaming inside.

Why me? Why can't I be normal? Why can't I be happy?

Does God hate me? Why Why Why?

I've wanted the hurt to end so bad, that all I've felt is numb.

I've been lucky in those times to have had people fiercely drag me back.

An outpouring of love from an unexpected source.

When I meant nothing to myself, how could I mean anything to another?

I've was made aware of a few very important things.

Our lives don't just effect us - but impact all those around us.

Your strength gives me hope, your pain feeds my sorrow.

A single act of kindness can change a life for the better.

And no matter how things look today, there is always a better tomorrow.

There is no sense in a permanent solution to temporary problems.

You have not fought this long and hard to stop now.

Reach deep into yourself and hold your head high.

You will always have your own self worth - let the others be damned.

Alex you have no shortage of kindness or compassion - save some for yourself.

Luv Kelly.

[Guest viv]

Going where Hun ????hate to log in and not see you there bud.

Stick around yeh???luv,viv

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

yeah i am going to stick around for a little while longer.... however long that will be... who knows

[Guest viv]

yeah i am going to stick around for a little while longer.... however long that will be... who knows

Thats cool Hun,,,just eh ,,like reading what you have to say .

Ah ,,,,sh.....got to do the pixie song !!!! hi ho hi ho its off to

work I go LOL. Take care you ,,,luv,viv

[Guest Aarianna]

Geh nicht vor mir