First Time.

[Guest Sarissa]

Hello everyone,

It was recomended to introduce myself as a first post here, so I am.

I am seeing a LGBT Therapist and as homework she said i needed to find a place where I could meet others like me. I am finding there is a world of people out there like me, though Im shy about all this.

I am really working hard at overcoming my social programming.

I have been living in denial my whole life. I have been trying to get my Dad to be proud of me. It was so important to me i did everything i could to make him happy.

I followed his footsteps into the militay, I got married, I had kids.. All this to make him proud of the boy he wanted me to be.

All my life I have living to make him happy.

Things changed 3 years ago. My now Ex wife went to jail and to a mental institution. I got the kids and the divorce soon followed. I had been taking her birth control pills for several months and reveled in the feeling of doing something finally.

A year ago I decided i needed to stop lying to myself like I had always done. I began self taking Herbal Hormones and Testosterone blockers. < Amongest other things like Female vitamins, etc.>

I have finally began seeing a therapist.

As I talk to her I realize i have wasted my whole life chasing after my Dads approval, and being very very unhappy. Now my life is well into it middle if not later stages and it seems the chance to transistion is passed me by.

It is all I can really think about. Being the woman I knew I should have been when I was little.

Had I followed my heart like I should have, I would never have been in the military, or gotten married; though i would not want to loose my kids for anything in the world.

As I reflect, if I had the opportunity when i was 18 or 20, i would have transistioned then.

I do hope I have not bored you all to tears. I dont usually talk much about myself and am uncomfortable doing this, but i trust my therapist.

Thank you all for bearing with me.

Hugs. and bless you all here.

Sarissa

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi Sarissa

Welcome to the family, so nice to meet you.

Please don't ever think that you will bore us, we just love meeting new people and reading their comments.

As for this

As I talk to her I realize i have wasted my whole life chasing after my Dads approval, and being very very unhappy. Now my life is well into it middle if not later stages and it seems the chance to transistion is passed me by.

Myself and many others here would care to disagree with you, in fact many of us are starting out just where you are at if not later. It is never too late to be happy with yourself.

Also I do hope that your therapist has informed you that self HRT is not good for you. I do hope that you have quit self medicating and found a qualified doctor.

Anyways, looking forward to your comments and questions in the near future. The rest of the family should be here shortly to say hello.

LUV

Jean

[MaryEllen]

Hello Sarissa,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. Hopefully, your therapist can provide you with some insights of the issues you are facing. I would advise you to stop taking the herbal hormones. They are not regulated by the FDA and as such could have just about anything in them. Laura, the site owner suffered multiple strokes and heart attacks from taking herbal hormones. The amounts you would have to take to have any feminisation at all would be extremely toxic to your system. As soon as your therapist feels that you are ready, he/she'll write a letter of recomendation to your doctor stating that you are ready to begin HRT. Your doctor will then prescribe a regimen that is suitable to your needs. Please do it this way. It's the only plan that we can endorse.

As Jean pointed out, it's never to late to begin transitioning.

MaryEllen

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Welcome to Laura's

[Guest Angelgrlsue]

Welcome Sarissa. I will agree with the others here it is never too late to be the woman you always knew you are. Please talk with your therapist about HRT, self medication is not the way to go, it will only harm you in the long run. Hormones are nothing to play around with, a doctors supervision is a must.

Hugs,

Suzie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

I think you are in the right place! BUT

Stop the herbals and get on the real stuff.

And you story is so interesting! Please don't disappears and POST POST POST - we wanna know more.

Lizzy

[Guest]

Hi Sarissa.

Welcome to Laura's! You've come to the right place to meet others - the ladies (and gentlemen) here are easy to get to know and way helpful. I hope you can join in and feel at home.

If there's anything you need, please ask!

Love, Kat

[Guest Sarissa]

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

You all have been very sweet.

Sarissa.

[Guest Danielle J]

Hello Sarissa, your story sounds so familier. I too went in to the military (retired) I,m married with kids and grandkids. But I have come to realise I haven't really been happy, Oh I've had some great times but then I've had some real low points to. So now I'm seeing a therpist and hopefully starting HRT soon.

Hugs, Danielle

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hey Sarissa!

Welcome to the Playground!

I'm Donna Jean!

Hey, Hon, let me get you some nice hot coco and a plate of Sally's cookies (may I have one, too?)

Just sit over here and get comfy...

I won't beat the herbal hormone horse, but, my opinion is the same....OK?

Dear...It's NEVER to late to be yourself...

I'm 60 and 13 months HRT...Vietnam vet...married...

See? You're not alone out there ...there are a lot of us....

So, make yourself at home...because you are!

Oh, I used to live in Georgia...Dalton...Ya know where that is?

What part are you in?

LOVE & HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest swee'pea]

Hi Sarissa,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have MTF meetings-Mon & Sat 9pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest supervixenxxx]

Hi Sarissa!

Welcome to Laura s Playground, I'm so glad that you're here.

It can seem like a very long road sometimes I know... I was older (late 30's) myself when I first said to myself, out loud, that I am a girl. it presented a quandary but also opened doors. Anyway, you're among supportive friends here and I'm sure a lot of them can give you the benefit of their experience especially dealing with kids, and maybe assist you in finding a facilitating therapist who you can trust.

Again, welcome and happy first springtime to you sister!

Best wishes and many smiles, Jen

[Sally]

Hello Sarissa,

Welcome to the forums.

I will not go over the obvious and the things that everyone else has already told you - instead I am going to give you the key to happiness - no charge, just my gift to you.

We all have baggage and regrets for having waited so long to do anything about our need to be who we were born to be.

The key to happiness is to never dwell on the regrets - never get caught up in the what ifs and under no circumstance ever think that you have waited too long!

That is it - so simple to say and yet so hard to life.

There is a quote in my signature - it is from me and I recorded the date that I first wrote it, I wish that I could say that I live everyday by it because then I would be happy all of the time.

There will always be better times ahead and each new day is an opportunity to get things right, the past is gone fading into memories, now is becoming the past as we speak only the future is there for us to improve upon - so let's do just that. - Sally Michelle Jackson, May 17, 2009

My signature speaks to the philosophy that can keep you going when it seems that most of the sand is already at the bottom of the hour glass - I view my transition as turning it over and starting to live - for the first time.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Sarissa]

Such kindness and advice...

I thought i would never even speak about this much less post it on the internet on a Forum.

Thank you all for taking a moment, sharing your thoughts and feelings as well as your hearts.

I sit here and ponder the words. They all seem so logical and make such sense. I then realize, it is not easy.

Thank you all again. You are all so warm, loving and considerate.

Sarissa

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Such kindness and advice...

I thought i would never even speak about this much less post it on the internet on a Forum.

Thank you all for taking a moment, sharing your thoughts and feelings as well as your hearts.

I sit here and ponder the words. They all seem so logical and make such sense. I then realize, it is not easy.

Thank you all again. You are all so warm, loving and considerate.

Sarissa

We dooooo understand. We dooooo want you around. I am MTF and 15 months into transition with HRT - I am also age 62 and pretty new to the realization I have always been female in mind and soul - but hidden it so deeply even I had trouble bring it forward. I too have children - and they are grown and married. That is the salvation to my regret for not transitioning earlier - I wouldn't dare go back before their conception and change a thing! BUt they support me 100%.

So you are loved here - as you can tell - just because you share the same hard life we have all had! And yes - It's not easy - but there are some very interesting options.

I personally look forward to getting to know you better! DON"T YOU DARE GO AWAY! Grin.

Lizzy

[Guest ChalenAustin]

To quote a very wiser woman "It is never too late to be yourself."

I want that to become one of your new mottos ok?

It's a pleasure to have you here with us and no no one has had to whip out the boredom tissues yet!

I also want to leave you with another quote

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving foreward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... And curiousity keeps leading us down new paths."

It's a quote from Walte Disney of all people.

It's a beautiful saying and it can be tailored to all of us in some way.

"It's never too late so don't look back at what has happened but look towards the future and what we can do about it now."

~ Me

You will be alright.

You are offically starting your new life right.... NOW!

[Guest Shane_82]

Welcome

~ Shane