Being With The Wrong Person. I Dont Know If I Should Post This.

[Guest Amanda_Henderson]

Before you reply, Please read all. I am sorry if some of this content is more for Adults but I think it was nessuary to explaine what was said from him to a point to get a good respones.

Im am sorry this is a little emberrssing for me, to talk about, but I neeeeeeeeed to get out of my system.

I started Monday Febuary 11, 2008, it started the work day as normal. Running my loads of Demo, from the Job to the Dump. Untell that one thing happend that would make a small improvement on my work. The loader broke down. Brakedowns are a good thing because I can sit on the job and still get paid, but anyway back on topic, I was standing on the top step of the driver side of my step cleaning out my truck, when I a man came up to me and started a small talk between us. All of the sudden he said "Ya know I like to get my load drained everynite or as often as I can. How about you, do you have a man to do that for you?" The first mistake I think that I made is that I told him "No I do not have a man in my life, have not had one in my life for a couple of years now."

Mental pic for ya, he is 350 lbs, giving him the best of all but he may have more. He is 45+ years old and going bald.

Now at the end of the work day, after I just got signed out for the day I was sitting there in my truck waiting for the other trucks to move out of the way so I can get going to dump the load, 2 trucks in fornt 1st one wanted to talk to the Job SUP. about something I dont know what, but he decided to make contact again, this time he asked me if we could get hooked up on the jobsite somewhere, and I looked at him and said while banging on the back of my truck, No sleeper man, no sleeper. My truck used to have a sleeper on it but the company decided to take it off and put a shet of metal with a window so that I can see out the back to if the trailor is leaning, but anyway he said "Well we could go somewhere else on the job and get it on." Well I looked at him and said that I don't do that at work. I have fun with what I do, Dance with my music in the truck driving down the road, I play a game on my phone while I am waiting to get loaded, but I do not mix that kind of fun and work together, they do not mix. "OK OK well can I get your phone number so that we can get the hook up later this week. 2nd mistake I told him yes.

After all is said and done, when we were taking about it, it did sound tempting, with a offer like that. but will explaine more down.

The next day, Tus.

He keeped reminding me that I told him that I would give him my phone number, I have been putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off, untell he got out of the loader, and came up to me and said "You said you would give me your number, can I have it now?" Just the nite before, I was in this chat room and got some advice on Phone numbers to give him, from a Rejection Hotline. I have everything laid out and ready to give him the number, but I forgot what I was doing and gave him my real number, and told him that it is turned off at the moment due to the fact of it not being paid, but it will get turned on again on Friday.

Wen.

I was able to keep much to my self for most of the day. Except when he drove his loader by my truck, I did not see him Because I was writing down my last load ticket number and waight of the truck, and he was just there the only thing said was "Smile they are FREE." That after noon as I was getting signed out again he asked "How much experance do you have, and what do you like." I told him that I do not have very much experance, I am in to trying new thing but S&M, will not do S&M, for anyreason. He says "OK OK I know the feeling." By this time the boss is telling me to get out of here with the load and go home.

His last word to me were see you tomarrow.

Thur.

Trying to avoid contact with him, witch I was able to do again, untell the last load when he got out of the loader and asked a few more question like, How soft is your skin, do you like it rough. ECT ECT. Sorry I dont want to get in to much troube bcause of some of the stuff that he said. I answered his questions by telling the Truth. Except of some of the changes that are going on in my life. Then he stated that there is a big piece of cable hanging off the side of my trailor, said that he could not get it because of my tarp arms are in the way. He did not want to mess up my tarp arms. As I am crawling up the side of my big Trailor he said "I could have got it, but I just wanted to look at your Butt." Got the cable and talked a little bit more tring to sway him of the topic of Making out with me, and left.

Fri

The best day of the week. did not have to see him all day, I was running Steel out of the Demo job BuckingHam Mall here in Denver. Had 5 loads then I was done, then the boss called me to go back out there to help finish up the area, so that they can start on a different area of the big Demo job.

I know the Job SUP. very well. We are friends and all we get together every now and again. I Jokingly asked him "Why are you calling me out here, you could not finish the job with out me? I was on my way home when the boss called." he replyed "I told the labors that we had to get the job done tonite, and had to call more trucks out here. Your boyfriend told me to call your boss and tell him to send Amanda out here., so he did." Luckly I had no contact with him

just a wave.

I got my sell turned back on, on Sat. with the same number.

While we were talking it sounded really tempting to just toss it out the window and do it, on the weekend or after work, but after words I was Playing like I was HOMER SIMPSON DO' UH, why did I just do that.

He was exposed to call me this weekend, I have a cover story to tell him on why I cant do anything with him.

My nefew has Type 1 Dibetes, he was in a coma for 3 days, his surger was so high that if it was any higher you could touch the moon. They gave him a 5% chance to live. This was about 4 or 5 years ago. It may be rude to do so but I am going to tell him that he just went in the hospitle all of this is going to take place the day he wants to get together, and I have in place a couple of rules #1 GOD, FAMILY, WORK, FUN. Family in need will come first. Even if I have to make it my life. Work, Home, take care of Family.

I have helped manige his Dibetes in the past untell SS came in and took him away from his mother for other reasons not to be explined. It was hard time, Poking his finger 4+ times a day giving him the shots of med, he needed to control his surger, it was hard work, it took up a lot of time, but it was, and is well worth it. Knowing that I get to know this person, eventhough he was in my life since birth.

It is bothering me that the fact of I may have lead him on to something that would never happen in the first place.

I have talked to some people on the chats about him I think on Tuesday, got some good advice, but forgeting what I was doing did not do anything that I was givin advice for. I do want to thank all Tues. nite for the Advice.

[Guest shimmeringkristal]

Amanda,

This is my opinion so feel free to take it as so with a grain of salt and all. From my view point looking in I have to say that this is up to you in this situation. With me I have a wonderful Boyfriend. My taste in men is that of the classic Girls fanticy. I wanted a complete gentleman and was surprised beyond belief. I found one of all places in a Shopping mall. He is 6'3" about 200 pounds. He works for my county's Police force. And of all things I found out he was and still considers himself straight. I am a pre-op MTF. I think that we fell for each other the moment we saw each other. I told him in our first conversation that I loved honesty and told him about me before he could tell me much. His reply was "I honestly don't care about that. I am interested in ones personallity more than anything else." We have been going steady now for about a month.

Back to the subject at hand. As I don't know much at all about your interests I can't tell you much. All I can tell you is if you feel it is wrong then don't. Just be honest to him about what you want and what you don't want from a relationship. That would be my thoughts. I wish you luck.

Huggs,

Kristal

PS Please don't feel embaressed. You have friends here that are willing to help f you need it.

[Guest Michelle M]

Personally I would have stopped talking to him after those first few lines. The things he said raised some major red flags in my mind. He might have some redeeming qualities, but if you feel like it's wrong or aren't happy with it, get out; even if it's painful. It's better to be lonely and happy than with someone and miserable.

[MaryEllen]

Hi Amanda,

You should have told him firmly from the first that you weren't interested. Each day that you let this situation continue, it will only get worse and could eventually get out of hand. If you're truly not interested, better end it now. Good luck.

MaryEllen

[Guest elenag]

I don't think he was respectful, and it sounded like he was sexually harassing you. It may be tempting to take just any man who comes along because we all feel loneliness during or after transition. My advice is don't settle. How a man behaves in the first few moments of meeting you can foretell how things are going to be with him. We all should overlook minor flaws, but in this case they are not minor because he sees you as an object.

Men can have a hard time dealing with rejection and accepting "No" as an answer from a woman. I would reject him in a subtle way, so he can protect his ego. Embarrassing him severely could make your job a lot harder in the coming months. Perhaps, tell him your old flame is back in town and you're getting back together so you're no longer on the market to date.

Regardless, I would not get involved with a coworker even if he knew and accepted my history. When things go bad, an ex as a coworker can make your job hell.

[Guest Drew]

Men can have a hard time dealing with rejection and accepting "No" as an answer from a woman. I would reject him in a subtle way, so he can protect his ego. Embarrassing him severely could make your job a lot harder in the coming months. Perhaps, tell him your old flame is back in town and you're getting back together so you're no longer on the market to date.

i agree with elena, this guy sounds like he thinks of you as an object, which isn't right. let him down gently but firmly if that makes any sense. don't embarrass him, that could make your job harder. but just tell him that you're sorry you led him on because you're not looking to get involved with anyone. just a suggestion. anyways, good luck.

Drew

[Guest Amanda_Henderson]

Thanks

I have not yet told him that I dont want anything to do with him, but every time he calls me I just ignore him.

At first when he calls me his number came up as Restricted. But just this week he took that off and his number comes up.

the good thing about my phone is that everytime he calls me and leaves me a voice mail, His number is on the recorder, so

when he took off the Restricted I allready knew what his number was.

It has been about a week, and at this point I dont know if I should talk and tell him that it wont work out, or just put it off untell

I am on his job again. I have a feeling it may be soon.