Hi From A Newby

[Guest washougal]

Hi everyone,

I just found this site the other day and this is my first time posting. I am really glad I found it. I don't really know what I am gender wise right now. I mean i am biologically female, but I think that i probably shouldn't be. I guess i just haven't been able to accept that fact that I am different than what my body looks like. I don't really know that much about trans people since i grew up in a fairly conservative rural area. I do remember though when I was in 5th grade and found out about intersexed people from an article int he New York Times. That was the first time I knew there was anything besides girl and boy. For quite a while after reading the article I wondered if I had been born intersexed and my parents had chosen the wrong gender for me. I never have had the courage to ask them though, so i still don't know. I guess right now the only category i fit in is confused. I also feel like I don't have any options, because i am currently in college and competing in a Division 1 varsity sport as a female. I guess this has made me feel like I don't have a choice so I have been trying to ignore the messed up feelings I have about my body.(this hasn't really worked though). In almost all of my dreams I am a man and I still wish my breasts were gone, even though they aren't very big and wish that I could have surgery to have them changed to look like a guys chest. I have been reading on this site and it has helped me a lot. I didn't know there were gender therapists. I should probably go to one, but i don't feel like I'm ready. I have never really talked about this before.

Sorry for the long and somewhat rambling post, but i just wanted to tell everyone a little about me.

washougal

[MaryEllen]

Hi Washougal,

Welcome to Laura's Playground and thank you for sharing your story with us. Even though you say you're reluctant to see a gender therapist, it would benefit you greatly if you did. It will help clear up a lot of confusion that you have. Don't be afraid to ask questions. That's why we're here. To give help and support. Good luck.

MaryEllen

[Guest Just_Call_Me_Nick]

Hello there and welcome...I agree it would be a gain alot from a therepist...

Nick~

[Guest Drew]

hi washougal, welcome to the forums a gender therapist would probably help answer alot of your questions.

[Guest gwenthlian]

Welcome to the forums.

[Guest Mani]

Welcome!