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How To Open Up Enough To Save Myself?

Guest AndreaSC

By Guest AndreaSC,
in Male to Female (MtF) Discussions

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Guest AndreaSC

Guest AndreaSC

Posted
Posted

Given all the forums available here, I'm not totally sure that this is the best place to post, but here goes-

How can I develop the courage to be able to open up enough to someone to save myself?

For as long as I can remember, I've always wished that I had been born a female.I've seen shrinks for ADD and depression, also for as long as I can remember, yet I've never been able to open up anyone about who I feel I am, which is probably 90% of the reaon why I've always suffered from depression.

Quite frankly, I'm probably currently drinking myself to death by downing a six-pack a night, every night, yet this seems to be the only way that I can alleviate the pain of being alive.

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Guest Michelle M

Guest Michelle M

Posted
Posted

Try writing a letter if you can't talk about it in person. It's easier. Even if the letter is not that long. Even if it's only one sentence. As long as you can get it out, and get someone to realize it (preferably a therapist) then the path of the help you need will follow.

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Guest Zenda

Guest Zenda

Posted
Posted

Kia Ora 'A'

Sometimes in life we have to bite the bullet and do what we most fear in order to survive...If you're worried about family reaction DON'T...they already have life jackets and can swim - they will survive no matter what ..You need to get into the 'life' boat - feel the fear and do it anyway...See a counsellor or a close friend share the burden lighten the load...I'm sure you understand what I mean by life jackets and life boat...If you decide to hop in the life boat ['affirm' your gender] life will still go on for your family and 'time' heals all wounds...

Many of us have been there done that and survived...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!...There's plenty of room in the life boat...

Metta Jendar...

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Guest nearlyjamie

Guest nearlyjamie

Posted
Posted

Or you could try the online therapy. There is a link to his site on here. And he's only 25 bucks a session. I had two sessions already. He seems like a good therapist, but then again i have no one else to compair him too.

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Guest Firegirl

Guest Firegirl

Posted
Posted

*Hugs*

Since you helped me a lot, its only fair that I help you. I would just get a note book, open a word doc, etc and just start writing. Get out all the feelings you have about your situation and then take it to a therapist or just a close friend (like others have said), and talk about what you wrote with them. Just get it out, don't hold it back.

I wish you luck *hugs*

-Love, Lessa

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Guest Sergei

Guest Sergei

Posted
Posted

Be proud of who you are. I'm sure you are a great person. What does gender have to do with that? I'm a man in the wrong body, you're a woman in the wrong body. But what do are bodies matter? That is as shallow as judging somebody by the way they look. If they are fat or thin, or beautiful, or ugly! You are you. Be proud of who and what you are, and take steps to help yourself before it is to late. Trust me, just do it. It is worth the courage it takes to do it. xxx

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Guest AndreaSC

Guest AndreaSC

Posted
Posted
*Hugs*

Since you helped me a lot, its only fair that I help you. I would just get a note book, open a word doc, etc and just start writing. Get out all the feelings you have about your situation and then take it to a therapist or just a close friend (like others have said), and talk about what you wrote with them. Just get it out, don't hold it back.

I wish you luck *hugs*

-Love, Lessa

Thanks for your advice, but there's still the fundamental problem that I've only ever been able to truly open up and about who I feel I am when I'm absolutely s**tfaced, like I am now.

Quite

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Guest Leah1026

Guest Leah1026

Posted
Posted

You have to give yourself permission to be happy. I tried for almost 3 decades to be what others and society expected. I tried and failed at everythting until I reached just about bottom. That's when I finally admitted the truth to myself, that I was born transsexual. At the same time I told my ex that the first half of my life had been extremely unhappy and that I hoped to make the second half better. Actually it was more than that. I was sick and tired of being something I wasn't and settling for crumbs. I was tired of merely existing, I wanted to live. And to do that I had to transition.

Do you want to live? I mean really live and not merely exist? Then you have to say "I deserve to be happy" and then set out and do just that.

Step one is making an appointment with a gender therapist and doing a "core dump". You have to purge the system of all this pent up hurt and pain and you have to do this in the presence of another human being. That first step is the biggest and scariest, but I promise you it gets progressively easier after that.

Do this for yourself. Do it because you deserve it. Do it because you deserve to be happy.

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Guest AndreaSC

Guest AndreaSC

Posted
Posted
You have to give yourself permission to be happy. I tried for almost 3 decades to be what others and society expected. I tried and failed at everythting until I reached just about bottom. That's when I finally admitted the truth to myself, that I was born transsexual. At the same time I told my ex that the first half of my life had been extremely unhappy and that I hoped to make the second half better. Actually it was more than that. I was sick and tired of being something I wasn't and settling for crumbs. I was tired of merely existing, I wanted to live. And to do that I had to transition.

Do you want to live? I mean really live and not merely exist? Then you have to say "I deserve to be happy" and then set out and do just that.

Step one is making an appointment with a gender therapist and doing a "core dump". You have to purge the system of all this pent up hurt and pain and you have to do this in the presence of another human being. That first step is the biggest and scariest, but I promise you it gets progressively easier after that.

Do this for yourself. Do it because you deserve it. Do it because you deserve to be happy.

Thank you!!!

Because of you encouragement, I was just place a call to a gender shrink (Rusty Lynn).

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Guest shimmeringkristal

Guest shimmeringkristal

Posted
Posted

Wow I am so happy for you. Now that the first step has been taken I think that things may get easier for you. I wish you the best of luck and wishes. Remember that not only is the destination for your journey is important but the joys of self discovery along the way is equally important. Also remember that you have friends here that will not judge you no matter what you do. We will always be there for you.

Huggs,

Kristal

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Guest Jenny

Guest Jenny

Posted
Posted

Wow, can someone give me the same kick in the pants so I get the courage to call!

and I am so glad that you were able to call, takes and shows a lot. Good luck.

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