Learning The Lesson Of Consequences

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

We got a text message and phone call yesterday from my sister saying she was in terrible pain and is going to the hospital because of kidney stones. After some tests it was determined she'll have to have some kind of surgery to break these up so they can be passed and she can get better. She goes in for surgery today (04/01). Most of the immediate family is there...except me.

As you may or may not be aware, my sister and her family have been the only ones that haven't accepted me. Her husband went so far as to say that he was going to call Jerry Springer. Her children (my niece and nephew) think I'm a freak.

So naturally, when my mom asked if I was going to the hospital with them, I thought about it for a second and then said 'no'. I'm sure she's upset that I can't just put my feelings to the side for now but I quite frankly don't even want to be in the same room as them. Also I feel if I go then I'm sending the message of "oh, you can say whatever you want and I'll pretend it doesn't hurt me." which is something I've done too much in the past with my family.

I hate to be a jerk about this but on the other hand I think it's important to stand up for what I believe in and make them understand that their words did hurt and there is consequences to what they said. Naturally, if they had been accepting or at least working towards acceptance, then I would have been there.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Lizzie.....

Honey, I understand where you're coming from...

I mean....why would someone in your family treat you that way when every thing is rosy and then expect you to show up when the chips are down?

Personally, I don't blame you...what's to say that if you did go that you wouldn't catch more of th same...?

I'm really sorry that it's that way.....

Maybe things will get smoother in the future...

Good luck, Honey...

Donna Jean

[Guest angie]

Some do and some don't,

And there is nothing we can do about it either.

And I with you Lizzie. If they are so unaccepting,

and say the ugly things they do,why oh why,put

yourself through the misery. You made a stand,

fugidaboutdabums and let them face their own

consequences of never having taken the time to

meet and get to know the real you.

I faced this dilemma years ago. And little sis,is two

faced as heck.For the girl do speak with forked tongue.

Angie

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree with you too, Lizzie. If they want you there, then your sister and brother in law need to offer an apology for their prior behavior and

attitudes. You are not required to endure any further abuse in order to be by her side.

Maybe they will learn a lesson from this, but most likely, they won't get it, because they don't get you, and don't want to try.

HUGS

Carolyn

[Guest Astro_Liz]

I can drive to where ever you are Lizzie and give you a great big hug if that would help. Just let me know. I assume you are still on the west coast of Forida near the central section.

[Guest Ryles_D]

That must have been difficult- but I think it's for the best. They may have been just as bad about you showing up as you as you not showing. (although I don't know them) Right now it seems like the best you can do is send them your wishes for her to get better and make it clear that if they want you in their lives, they want you in their lives- not some mask.

I hope things work out.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hurts I am sure! But they are the instigators of thr problem, when you get down to it. It seems they won't be in your life and so why be in their's?

My wife will call my two sisters for Easter, the ones who say I am an abomination to God, the ones who called up people and outed me - including my wife's sister and my daughter (who knows who else?).

I won't be on the phone with them.

Lizzy

[Sally]

Dear Lizzie,

You have done the right thing, you stood up for yourself.

There has to be a point when each of us finally says, "Enough!"

To continue to be helpful, cheerful, courteous and all the rest of that when they have no problem treating you like dirt is just being a doormat - something which I know all to much about.

It must have been hard but it needed to be done - the choice is theirs if they want you in their lives/

Love ya,

Sally