Good Coming Out

[Guest Maelee]

Hello everyone.

Happy easter! Today when my brother and his fiance, my niece, and her son came over for dinner, I had a chance to talk to Angi (the fiance ). Told her about what happened 2 years ago (will be this May), and my starting transition. It went really great and I think I will finally have a sister now.

That has me so so so very happy, she was totally fine with it and was like why should you not live your life as you are, to heck with anyone that says otherwise.

The sad part is that in a previous post I mentioned meeting another transgender here in northern MI a week and 1/2 ago. Well, even though we had hit it off really great when we first met, I have heard nothing from her at all. When we first met she wanted me to send her a txt msg so she would have my number. So I sent that message, and about a week later another one. Friday I tried calling her and left a message on her voice mail. We had talked about getting together yesterday (Saturday) to talk someplace so I wanted to try and set that up. No responses back from anything. Has me really upset. Yesterday I was crying some and right now it has me about ready to start again. Am I overreacting to this? I so wanted to have someone close by that I could share myself and my feelings with that would understand and now I am thinking I did or said something that scared her off. I did mention that I had come out to my family after attempting to commit suicide and that it was such an incredibly stupid and foolish thing to do. Really hope that did not scare her away. I keep kicking myself for having said it but it was so nice at the time to be so open.

Anyways, I will let you know if I do hear anything from her. At least it went great with my future sister in law. I really hope I get invited to her shower when she has it. They might be one of those couples though that stay engaged forever and never actually marry.

Love and *hugs*

Mae

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Oh my - a good news - bad news report? Or is it really? Your future sister-in -law? GRAND!

Your friend that disappeared? You know like I do how insecure we trans people are. It's that person, not you. She may come back, who knows.

It is heartbreaking sometimes. An older androgynous person here and I got to be great friends. Then she disappeared! It kills me that happened - I thought I had a friend for life. Obviously she has issues - and having a MTF friend like me caused her some sort of negative reaction. I don't know! It really makes you wonder - if someone who understands you completely can reject you, is it something you did? Well, I just have to beleive it was HER problem, because I am really a good person.

And if she came back to me - I would love her all over again!

DANG

Lizzy

[Sally]

.I have to agree with Lizzy about the nature of so many transgendered relationships - I had a very dear friend on here as well, a little younger and one of the most wonderful things about her was that she was as crazy as a bed bug - then one day she didn't sign in, then another so I sent her a PM - no response, then an E-mail - no response, I have not heard from her again that has been nearly a year but I do hope that one day she will think about me and drop by to see if I am still here - I do miss her.

Friendships are like a beautiful day - enjoy them while they are here and cherish their memories forever.

Love ya,

Sally

[Paula ult]

Mae hon,

It makes me happy when i hear stories like yours of support from your family.

Sometimes people just disappear, i had the same thing happen, a post op woman i met on a chat site got to be good friends with me, we started im'ing, then one day she stopped coming on, i left her several offline messages, she did come back on a few months later and said i did not say or do anything wrong but talking to me brought up some painful experiences she had during her transition, maybe something similar happed with your friend.

Paula

[Guest Maelee]

My problem is that I have always been negative. I am trying to change that, and things are looking so much better, but with my overactive imagination I keep wondering if she is ok. I worry that something might of happened to her. She had gone to Chicago on vacation and I just keep thinking that maybe she was hurt or something. Most likely it was her thinking more about meeting to talk and decided not too.

Even though it has me really sad, I really hope it is the later, and that she is ok.

Thanks everyone. I wonder why it is that so many people just up and vanish.

Love and *hugs*

Mae

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Kelly Ann - a wonderful MTF friend of ours - she was going to be with us in Memphis! Disappeared. I think she had to suddenly spend all her energy taking care of her father! MY DANG how we miss her. And my friend Mia is gone - and my friend Allison (but I found her at another location) - and April - she got all tangled up in her religious considerations - and our man Z - I guess he got to the point he didn't need Laura's - so many FTM do that...

Eth - my smart friend - where are you?

So many leave!

BUT

I take heart that they were somehow helped by Laura's. Hope so

Lizzy

[Sally]

Many people have vanished from my live over the years but the ones that have vanished from the trans community seem to disappear faster, I think because although they may care for us very deeply this is a reminder to them of all of the struggles and they want to move on and no longer feel the pain that brought them here to this place.

I like to imagine them having all of the happiness that they have been searching for so long.

But it never makes me stop missing them.

I stay because I know that I need help and this is a wonderful place for it - I cannot imagine ever leaving all of my friends here behind.

Some have gone away and I do not hear from them anymore but I have never left a friend behind, they are too precious to me, as I get more secure and progress in my transition I may just find other things to occupy my time and slow down my ridiculous posting rate but I cannot imagine leaving and loosing contact with so many of my friends.

It may be a small consolation but I will be here foe a long, long time!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Yes, the sadness over losing friends can take it's tool...but we must refrain from blaming ourselves.

99% of the time, they have to move on to other things and we are left in the wake...

When this happens we tend to sometimes blame ourselves...

It's not us....

People grow, have other obligations and move on...

Life....it sux sometimes....

Donna Jean

[Guest angie]

Many of the women I befriended when I started transition

no longer will talk to me.Maybe it is because I am on a different

path,or moving along and maturing at such a steady pace.

I don't know,and while it hurts,there is nothing I can do about

it, nor will I worry my pretty little head about it either.

Mae,your friend is a new girl. She is probably not where you are

mentally with the desire to take her place yet.Seems to me,she

was/is still in the feeling out phase,not sure if this truly is her path.

Unlike you, who know who she is,and where she needs to be.

Don't let it get to you sweety and don't give up.She lives in your area,

so the chances are you will see her again.And with being in transition,

may give her the incentive,once she see's the changes that have occured,

to make up her mind once and for all. She may have felt pressured and

wasn't/isn't ready to make the commitment yet.

Angie