I'm About A Month Sober! (here's The Story, And A Poem)

[Guest Kayde]

Here I am - about 1 month sober.

Ever since I was a child, I hated drugs / alcohol because of what they did to my family. Now that I'm addicted, I feel horrible because my mother and father are alcoholics. (as well as everyone else in my family. I am the 5th or 6th generation of addicts/alcoholics in my family. It's sick.

But anyways, ever since I felt comfortable being a male (instead of fighting my transgenderism) I haven't done a drug since.

I feel no need. I feel clean. All the sexual abuse done to me as a child is erased.

I am healed.

Anyways...

here's my poem..... (its not my best, I did it it 4 minutes ... but eh. I like it )

"As the World Burns", by Kayde O'Toole

I am not a woman,

And I am not confused,

No more am I some creature

Burying himself in booze.

Because...

I am man.

Man is me.

My mirror tells no lies,

I dress for me, not judgemental eyes.

I used to breathe in code,

and I used to see the clouds,

I now breathe easy, free,

Because the sun has shown, I'm proud.

The rain does not have to come,

to wash away the shame,

I am not burnt, I'm on fire,

I'm an inspired, lovely flame.

I light the night, because you can't

Because I am truly God's Man.

Articulate, though clumsy words.

I'm verbally all thumbs, but not under yours.

Myself.

The drugs, the hiding? They never worked.

They made me feel less than my worth.

Now I am on fire, no longer a liar,

I make this dreary world burn.

Burn with passion, joyous truth.

I make this world much less confused.

Because I'm me, Because you're you,

We make this world MUCH less confused.

So light that candle, for all that're lost.

And make this night for those who lose,

lose the passion of their fight,

despite the fact they know they're right.

I am your forgotten self,

The one you left with the toys on the shelf.

Because the truth don't make me turn,

I make this passionate world just BURN.

[MaryEllen]

Beautifully written poem, Kayde. Congratulations on reaching your goal of sobriety.

MaryEllen

[Guest Kayde]

Beautifully written poem, Kayde. Congratulations on reaching your goal of sobriety.

MaryEllen

really? THANKS!

And yes, thank you so much !!!!

I'm so happy being sober <3

x

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

It is a very nice poem. And great job! 1 month sober is awesome!!! you are well on your way

[Guest Kayde]

It is a very nice poem. And great job! 1 month sober is awesome!!! you are well on your way

Aw thanks !

And yes I'm so proud of myself.....

I basically have found it easy to stay sober ever since I decided to express my gender the way I feel (instead of what everyone else wants me to be)... Because now a load is off my shoulders.......

I found God, God found me.

[Carolyn Marie]

Congrats on one month, Kayde. That is a wonderful accomplishment, and I appreciate you letting us share in it.

I do like your poem very much, too. Great imagery, and very uplifting.

Four minutes you say? I thought I was doing well with two hours to do a poem. Gotta work on my speed...

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Kayde]

Congrats on one month, Kayde. That is a wonderful accomplishment, and I appreciate you letting us share in it.

I do like your poem very much, too. Great imagery, and very uplifting.

Four minutes you say? I thought I was doing well with two hours to do a poem. Gotta work on my speed...

Carolyn Marie

Aw thanks !!!

Anytime, I love to share my life with you guys... this place is truly a safe haven for me......

x

And yeah , four minutes ... that's why my poetry stinks.

And no! That's alright.... 2 hours is better than 4 minutes because you can think more... Plus, the only reason why I do poems so fast is because I was isolated from the ages of 13 and a half years old, to 15 years old..... because I wouldn't go to school... I hated the homophobic comments there (at the time, I identified as bisexual - because I didn't understand about transgenderism.)

I even got death threats, so I left.

Therefore, I lived life in a tiny apartment in the city with my mother, constantly writing poetry about how much they hurt me.

Thats the reason why I write fast. Because I've written non stop for 2 and a half years of my life. LOL