Thinking...

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

So I am thinking that 3 months is plenty long enough to be sober and it's time for me to stop trying so hard....

[Guest Donna Jean]

That's interesting......

Why would say that, Alex?

Donna Jean

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

because i don't want to be sober anymore, i don't want to feel anymore, i don't want to have to fight to survive. I just want to not care...

So I'm just going to drink until I can't anymore

[Guest Jean Davis]

Awww Alex

This doesn't sound like you.

What's wrong, please share if not here you can give me a PM and we'll chat for a bit.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

I'm losing my mind...

with health problems, family problems, problems with friends... I'm sick of being sick and worrying about having another heart attack, or that remission won't last again and I will have to go through chemo and radiation again,

there's just too much and I don't know how much more I can take

[Guest Jean Davis]

I can see where you are comming from honey.

But drinking isn't going to make those worries go away, all it's going to do is add one more problem to your list.

Is there anyone close to you that you can consult about your problems, or perhaps there is an AA group near you that you could go to. Even if you don't consider yourself to have a problem with alcohol the people at AA usually will listen and give you some support. Perhaps there is a Transgender support group around your area that you could talk with, heck even someone that you work or go to school with that you could vent to would be better than doing what you're planning on doing.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

it's too late for help...

all well, it doesn't matter

[Guest Jean Davis]

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

Hey honey, you recognize this? You should, it's on your profile.

Now I don't understand how the same person that wrote this could just give in to the fear of a couple of temperary problems like the ones that you are facing.

I hate to tell you this but you won't find your courage in a bottle or can, it's something that you have to work at every day. And believe me it will pay off, the more you work at it the more you will find that the problems that you face today will be more easily overcome in the future, but you have to keep working at confronting your problems and finding solutions. If you continue to keep hiding beind that bottle or can you will never learn how to resolve your problems and they will keep building. Your problems will not just go away and you will have to confront them sooner or later, so it's your choice take care of them now while they are still manageable or take care of them when they are out of control.

Hope you make the right choice.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Girl Emily]

Alex,

You have so many burdens to carry, but what ones are truly yours to cary. Can you control if you are going to have a heart attack again or if cancer will return or not. You need to let them go. All your worrying only hurts you and robs you of the joy of living. Spend your time on things you can control and as you effect them for the better you will receive the reward for your efforts.

Drinking only delays the inevitable and you will need to deal with your problems eventually.

Huggs,

[Guest Evan_J]

Hey Alex, I'm guessin that you had the drink. Or even several. But I don't think its actually what you wanted to do. If it was , I don't think you would have sent up this flare. If you don't want to talk in thread, pm me. Either way, I'd be available.

And 3 months is not plenty long enough to be sober Three months wasn't even long enough for me to not be lying about the fact that I wasn't drinking ......or find all 27 empty bottles I'd hidden ....or all the shot bottles in my jackets.....or...just talk to me if you need to.

Having the drink does not mean "its too late for help ". Thats an excuse and just means "this drink tastes really really good" lol pm me.

Never laughing at you, but shaking mah head at a memory of someone I used to be.

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

I did not have the drink... and truthfully I am disappointed that I didn't.

[Carolyn Marie]

I did not have the drink... and truthfully I am disappointed that I didn't.

Alex, you may be disappointed, but I'm not.

I'm sorry I missed this thread since yesterday, but I'm here now, if you want to PM me or join me in Chat.

We all care about you, Alex. I know you're hurting, and frustrated, and scared. They sound like good reasons to drink, but they're not. Because when you get

sober again, those reasons will still be there.

Talk to me, Alex.

Carolyn Marie