On Behalf Of A New Friend Of Mine

[Guest unsolvedmystery]

I recently started speaking to some one online (he uses his phone, the chat site is specially for phone use) through a friend. I'm trying to help them but I thought posting here would help even more. He was born a male and still wants to be called a male for now, though i call him by his girl name, mel. He's 16 and since he was 4 years old he's felt he should be a female. nobody knows this except some people online. he really is living a double life and hates it. but he is too afraid to speak to his parents, his dad will freak. it's just such a burden for him, he doesn't know what to do. he truely feels he should be a woman and wants a sex change. of course he can't go see a therapist or anything either because his parents can't know. it's such a tough situation. i have suggested he finish high school and start a new life at university. i just don't know what can be done for now. by the way, he makes such a cute girl too! excuse me if i'm not making sense though... i'm on strong pain killers for a really bad neck and shoulder. i will post more info as i speak to him more. i just wanted to start getting peoples advice or thoughts as soon as possible. thanks a lot, all of you are amazing, really wish he could come here for himself, this really is home for me.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Honey.......

It's really wonderful that you are concerned about this person and sincerly want to help them...That shows class...

Yes, do see if you can get them to join here. I'm sure that this site will be of some help to them....

Thank you for caring!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[MaryEllen]

Hi,

Please reassure your friend that she is not alone. There are many just like her. If you could continue to be a go-between for her, we'll be more than happy to give advice and support. If there's anyway possible, urge her to get online and join us here. She would be very welcome.

MaryEllen

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi honey

Perhaps you could see if she would like to use the computers in her local library to join here. Or perhaps she has a friend with internet access or maybe her school would allow her use of their computers after classes. We would love to hear from her whenever she can gain access to the internet.

As for copeing until she can see a therapist, perhaps she could start doing some femmine things like shaving her legs, wearing womens deodorant, painting her nails with a clear top coat or maybe some woman's undergarments. You know, something that can be hidden easily but will make her feel better. Also as far as her parents go, perhaps this would be a good time to start dropping those little hints, the earlier she starts dropping hints the easier breaking the news will be in the future.

Hope this helps.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Girl Emily]

Hi dear,

Thank you for being such a caring person. I really feel for those that are in their teens. You are in such a difficult position considering the heavy reliance for support from parents. I would caution any sort of coming out to her parents if she believes that support might be endangered. The streets of our major cities have way to many transgender teens living on them. Once homeless they suffer so much more than they should. It's a bleak outlook, but the fact remains the same. Encourage her to make plans for the future and working towards obtaining the autonomy she may need to come out to her parents safely. Finding ways to express her femininity privately for now as she prepares for her future. There is so much to do in your late teens as you prep yourself to take control of your life, I can't imagine adding to it by transitioning at the same time. Planning a career in a field that has shown a willingness to accept transsexuals or genderqueer such as healthcare is beneficial. It is expensive to transition fully, many spend years saving every penny as they live in poverty so they can afford hormones and surgeries.

Huggs,

[Guest unsolvedmystery]

thanks a lot for the replies so far! i've been copy and pasting the replies to mel. it's all very overwhelming for her. she will try make a plan to come here. she asks what type of hints would be subtle enough? she just doesn't want to get into trouble by saying something too blunt like 'i wish i was a girl so i could also wear dresses'. this is difficult being the middle person for her, but i think it's better than nothing, mtf is not my knowledgable field, though i do try understand and read as much as possible about everything. she's also just feeling upset because she wishes she could meet real people, though of course internet onversations are helpful. thanks so much every one!