Uncomfortable Conversation Today

[Guest dolly]

okay i had to work today-originally a twelve hour shift but that got changed so i'm sittin out in the smoking section of the mall and these two people i know from around the mall socially come up to me and say hi and we're chilin and stuff-these two are a couple which is great cus they are really smitten with each other an what not but the guy is kind of a jerk. anyways, theirl knows about m situation being trans and all and was telling her about how great his site was while her boyfriend is away and he comes back and we start talking abot smoking and i told em im plnning on quitting and she blurts out not intending to be rude or anythin "is that cus of the hormones?"and her boyfriend gets al uber macho pucker tihgt and is all like "wat?" and "o im straight " etc. etc. anyways it felt so uncomfortale then an im sittin there tryin to make lemonade out of lemons of the siuation and change the subject but hes all like lookin odd at me and stuff and ugh. anyways yeah i knovery well i don't look like wat im supposed to look like right now but seriosly. i just dont get why people have t make a big deal about it. its very frustrating to listen to it over and over again yaknow? i mean its not like i dont already know i have a long way to go before i get there.

sorry thought id share my frustration fr a second.

[MaryEllen]

Hi Dolly,

No need to apologize. It's good to get your fustrations out. It really does help to vent via the written word. Some people can be total jerks. That's why I tend to avoid people like that.

MaryEllen

[Guest matryoshka doll]

Hi Dolly,

No need to apologize. It's good to get your fustrations out. It really does help to vent via the written word. Some people can be total jerks. That's why I tend to avoid people like that.

MaryEllen

That sounds stressful. It sounds like he has unresolved issues. I think sometimes it's best to just let things be awkward and just know his issues were about him and not really about you at all. I'm always suspicious of people who feel a strong need to declare their not-gayness...

[Guest Kelly]

yah i have a hard time with that sometimes

[Guest dolly]

That sounds stressful. It sounds like he has unresolved issues. I think sometimes it's best to just let things be awkward and just know his issues were about him and not really about you at all. I'm always suspicious of people who feel a strong need to declare their not-gayness...

same here. can't tell you how many times they change ther mind about that when theres noone around them and me. ugh. if it were only so simple as avoiding him he comes in our store all the time. plus hes been acting real jerky to his girlfriend lately which is sad cus shes such a nice person. she reminds me of willow from buffy even has the same voice.

she deserves better.

[Guest kathy sue]

i was on a site last week where people post news stories that are either funny. odd, offbeat or just weird, well someone posted the story about the transsexual in prison in mass who went to court to get hrt and facial removal while lockup. she won her case and the court ordered the prison to continue treatment, srs is part of suit but hasn't been ruled on yet. well some of the idiots that posted comments came up with the most ignorant things to say about transsexuals from just killing her outright to inflicting what amounted to daily torture. most of them were doing so out of plain ignorance or i suppose because they have had some of the same feelings but are to weak mentally to deal with them. also they could just have latent homosexual tendencies. the thing most of them thought was that it is a lifestyle choice, i tried to explain that they were wrong and how , but most are so set in there ways i don't think anybody could get through. then a few got real graphic what they believe srs is( mainly mutilation cutting things off). anyhow the best way to deal with people like that is tell them about yourself and if they still have issues just tell them to stay away and leave you alone, you don,t need negative people around. personally i tell them if you can't accept me for who i am then you can go to h*ll, but that's just me.

[Guest shimmeringkristal]

I know that that is a hard situation. I genneraly just smile my best smile when I get stares and that tends to shake them back into some form of reallity. When I am with a friend that is uncomfortable I just tell them "I like who I am. Who I am has nothing to do with who you are so just relax. Don't worry I am not contageous." That tends to difuse the odd situation.

Feel free to come on by and rant any time that you wish. That is one of the main functions of this site. We are all here to listen and help when we can. I wish you and everyone around you love and peace.

Huggs,

Kristal

[Guest Michelle M]

i was on a site last week where people post news stories that are either funny. odd, offbeat or just weird, well someone posted the story about the transsexual in prison in mass who went to court to get hrt and facial removal while lockup. she won her case and the court ordered the prison to continue treatment, srs is part of suit but hasn't been ruled on yet. well some of the idiots that posted comments came up with the most ignorant things to say about transsexuals from just killing her outright to inflicting what amounted to daily torture. most of them were doing so out of plain ignorance or i suppose because they have had some of the same feelings but are to weak mentally to deal with them. also they could just have latent homosexual tendencies. the thing most of them thought was that it is a lifestyle choice, i tried to explain that they were wrong and how , but most are so set in there ways i don't think anybody could get through. then a few got real graphic what they believe srs is( mainly mutilation cutting things off). anyhow the best way to deal with people like that is tell them about yourself and if they still have issues just tell them to stay away and leave you alone, you don,t need negative people around. personally i tell them if you can't accept me for who i am then you can go to h*ll, but that's just me.

I don't know the full details, but is the state paying for the prisoner's transition? If so, that's just a waste of taxpayer dollars. Sorry, but my stance is firm on this. It's not fair that someone should get something for free that the rest of us have to pay for out of our own pockets; just because they are in prison. How can they even deem someone who has committed criminal acts in the first place psychoemotionally health enough to go through transition? She might just be doing it for a new name and a clean slate. The criminal mind is not a healthy mind. Nobody really has any idea what might really be going on in her head, regardless of what she told the therapist. Like I said, my statements are based on assumptions. If I can find a link to the story and the full details involved, and what crime was committed, maybe I'll change my stance and conviction.

While I'm on the subject of politics, I read a story about a political figure transwoman who lost an election. Her opponents did a smear campaign, claiming she 'wasn't female' because she didn't have SRS yet. They also claimed voters are more likely to vote for a woman. This lady had won the vote last term as openly trans, so that proves to me that she can win an election even if people know you're trans. She lost this time, and claims it was because of the allegations. (Her story got tons of nasty comments, too, death threats and suicide suggestions abound) I don't believe in her claim. She's using her trans status as a crutch; as a weak excuse for losing. She already proved it by winning last year. Take your loss gracefully. People voted for the other politician because they didn't like the job you did last year. EQUAL RIGHTS ARE NOT SPECIAL RIGHTS.

[Guest Kelly]

yah people yell at me all the time about those things. just beause your trans doesent mean you get special privleges. and i replied "i dont want any i just want you guys to treat me like you would a girl" some of them got the message sime didnt *sigh* sometimes i dont get the world