Livejournal's Idiocy Of The Day.

[Guest Itzika]

For anyone who doesn't know, LiveJournal is a free online journal that people use as a blog, personal journal, writing space, ranting space, friend-finder, support community, information community, or whatever. It also has a "Writer's Block" question every day. And today's Writer's Block started out like this:

Regardless of your sexual identity/orientation, would you be upset if a long-term romantic partner neglected to tell you that s/he'd had a sex change operation before you met, and why?

I could try to list all the levels of fail in this, but I don't have to. It's already been done. Instead, I can list the even greater levels of fail that followed, when instead of taking down the question, apologizing, and replacing it, LiveJournal REWORDED the question. So that the new answers still linked to the old answers. The new question reads like so:

Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that s/he'd committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship?

That's right. LJ apparently realized--somehow; I don't know how--that the original question was epic fail. But instead of taking it down, they reworded it to equate transition with a SERIOUS CRIME. I'm sure they could fail more, but it would have taken serious effort.

But again. There are other people who have worded it better than I could.

If you have a LiveJournal, you can report abuse here. They have trans, other LGBTQA, and ally communities. There's no excuse for them to do this.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearheart,

Although I appreciate your concern about what was said on another site, it is of no consequence here at Laura's.

If you belong to that site then express your concerns there.

Each site has it's own rules and expectations.

Laura's is a site all of its own.

Brenda

[Guest Ryles_D]

Regardless of your dental health- would you be upset if a long-term romantic partner had neglected to tell you they had had braces?

Ugh... I don't even bother using livejournal anymore- but that's just aggravating. Not just because there are some people who'd say that not coming out as trans before having sex is the same as sexual assault or rape!

Although I appreciate your concern about what was said on another site, it is of no consequence here at Laura's.

If you belong to that site then express your concerns there.

So we're not allowed to post things that happen on other sites? Why do we get links to things that are trans phobic, then?

You'd better go tell these threads the same thing. http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...c=18355&hl= http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...c=18387&hl= Both link to things that happened off Laura's- and thus are of no consequence here at Laura's.

Things that spread or reinforce transphobia are of consequence to every single one of us- regardless of where it's said. And people who use livejournal might want to know that the site considers this an acceptable question.

[Guest Charlene_Leona]

In Missouri if I were not to tell my husband that I had transitioned before we meet and married, that marriage would be able to be annulled on those grounds alone. This is a touchy subject but I feel if you were going to enter into such a union then it would just be right to disclose that to my future husband.

The question on the other board is a logical and rightful one to ask, I personally see nothing wrong with it, but the way it was reworded kind of upset's me because it make's us sound like criminals for not doing so in the first place.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

[Guest Ryles_D]

In Missouri if I were not to tell my husband that I had transitioned before we meet and married, that marriage would be able to be annulled on those grounds alone. This is a touchy subject but I feel if you were going to enter into such a union then it would just be right to disclose that to my future husband.

The question on the other board is a logical and rightful one to ask, I personally see nothing wrong with it, but the way it was reworded kind of upset's me because it make's us sound like criminals for not doing so in the first place.

Take Care

Charlene Leona

The upset is that they reworded it so hastily. The way it was done, it seems to imply that transitioning is on par with comitting a serious crime. It would have been better to retract it if they felt it was out of line and a good time later, when it's clearly distinct, writing the crime question- but this was just badly done.

Now then:

It says nothing about marriage. Just a "long-term relationship". When you bring in marriage into it- that is a very different question, and it brings the law into it as well, which varies from place to place. There are some places (and families) where you're required to get a physical to get married to verify that both are fertile/not carrying STDs/etc. It's not a "you aren't allowed to get married now" so much as a "make it so that these things are known upfront". With that, you couldn't not tell them before getting married because the "Hey- you realize your fiance has XX/XY chromosomes, right?" will come up with the physical.

And it is something worth consideration- it's definitely something for trans people to think about when they're transitioning and it'd be great if cis people would seriously think about how they'd react if their partner came out as trans/having a trans history- but the way it was done wasn't very well thought out. First of all, I have issues with it being called a "sex change" by anyone because it completely ignores the fact that it's a journey that takes a minimum of a year and involves a great deal of treatment emotionally as well as medically- you can't walk into the doctor as Frank and walk out that afternoon as Francesca like everyone seems to think. Then it would be better to have a question of "When would you be comfortable telling a partner" for trans people. This would be fine on a site that would garner intelligent discussion about all the issues that both sides face- but that's not what this was doing.

[Guest Bunny]

While its a good question to present to a trans person, or to one that you, as a trans person, are dating its not all that good of a question to post on a public site where the transaphobic and hate filled responses will crop up like candy.

The way they went and changed the question, knowing the original was a highly bad idea, was just sad. They kept the same title "Take Me As I Am" instead of just changing the whole flipping thing to something that had nothing to do with the original question at all.

Also, since they knew it was a bad idea I would think a front page apology to the people they deeply offended would be in order. They wont agree but. Welcome to LJ. They violate their own TOS like its their job.

-Jaden

[Guest Anna_Banana]

Dearheart,

Although I appreciate your concern about what was said on another site, it is of no consequence here at Laura's.

If you belong to that site then express your concerns there.

Each site has it's own rules and expectations.

Laura's is a site all of its own.

Brenda

Can't disagree more. Everything has its own rules and expectations. If someone says something un-kosher to me about my sexuality or gender at work, am I supposed to say to myself, "I can't go to Laura's Playground cause it has nothing to do with them. Best to settle it with work."? This could be applied to any situation. I was under the strong understanding that this website is in place for us to discuss our thoughts, feelings, and concerns, especially related to our gender and sexuality. While I no longer consider LiveJournal to be a large player in the social networking scene, it still has some social clout and thus might influence the general public. In fact, it's very important that we, as a potential audience, discuss how certain websites make us feel. If LiveJournal is posing transgender people in a negative light, something must be done about it. The only way to take action is to spread the word. In other words, thank you topic creator for bringing this to my attention.

.Anna