Is There A Lesson To Be Learned Here?

[Guest Janessa]

I think a lesson can be learned from this, so I'd like to ask others opinions and share what happened. =p

I truly felt I was bisexual for a long time and did not date anyone, until just recently when I started dating this one girl who asked me out and told me she had no problem with me being transgender. However, during the relationship I found out certain things gross me out about being with a woman, which leads me to believe I may be straight instead of bisexual; I can't name what grosses me out because of younger members, but I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. I also get very upset when my partner said or did anything that made me feel like I'm "the man" in the relationship, even something as small as asking me to carry most of the groceries. Also, I can not stand to be the dominant one in the relationship, so I think I would be better off with a man.

We broke up not long ago and we are just friends now, but I was not very upset by the break up. After thinking about it, I realized I only dated her because she had no problem with dating a transgender person and she is bisexual. I think I did this because I did not want to be alone my entire life and, even though I did not love this person, I acted like I loved her simply because she liked me and had no problem with me transitioning into a woman.

I think what I've learned from this is that no matter how lonely I am I should not engage in a romantic relationship with someone, no matter how accepting of me being transgender they are, unless I truly love them. What do you all think?

[Guest Ryles_D]

Definitely a good lesson! I'm glad it ended well enough (well, I hope it did), but that could have ended really badly. If the girl really liked you- finding out that you didn't have any interest in her would have really hurt. I think we get desperate for acceptance some times, especially if we haven't had any, and make the mistake of clinging to people who accept us even if the rest of the relationship isn't good for us. Hopefully we'll get enough acceptance that it doesn't make that kind of difference- then we only have to worry about whether or not we're interested in who we date.

[Guest Evan_J]

I think a lesson can be learned from this, so I'd like to ask others opinions and share what happened. =p

I truly felt I was bisexual for a long time and did not date anyone, until just recently when I started dating this one girl who asked me out and told me she had no problem with me being transgender. However, during the relationship I found out certain things gross me out about being with a woman, which leads me to believe I may be straight instead of bisexual; I can't name what grosses me out because of younger members, but I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. I also get very upset when my partner said or did anything that made me feel like I'm "the man" in the relationship, even something as small as asking me to carry most of the groceries. Also, I can not stand to be the dominant one in the relationship, so I think I would be better off with a man.

We broke up not long ago and we are just friends now, but I was not very upset by the break up. After thinking about it, I realized I only dated her because she had no problem with dating a transgender person and she is bisexual. I think I did this because I did not want to be alone my entire life and, even though I did not love this person, I acted like I loved her simply because she liked me and had no problem with me transitioning into a woman.

I think what I've learned from this is that no matter how lonely I am I should not engage in a romantic relationship with someone, no matter how accepting of me being transgender they are, unless I truly love them. What do you all think?

I think that you learned the best lesson .

[Guest Donna Jean]

Jannessa......

Yep, lesson learned.....

Sometimes it's better to be alone than to exist in a bad relationsship....

Plenty of fish in the sea and all of that cliché' stuff!

Huggs......

Donna Jean

[Guest Katrina_Carter]

I think that is going to be a problem for a lot of those who are just transitioning. When you go from MtF you are going from a society perceived norm of being the dominant partner to being who you truly are. Some of us still prefer to be the dominant partner, but many like you and I do not. It is difficult for a lot of genetic women to understand that they have to be the dominant partner, that just because we were born with the birth defect of having a penis does not mean we are male and expect to be treated or act as one as society believes we should.

I'm not going to lie, it is much harder to find a straight relationship with a man that will form an emotional connection than a gay one with a woman that will. Speaking only from my personal experience with men, they rarely want anything beyond the physical. The problem is that in all romantic relationships you must have both (lie to yourselves all you want, you know in the end it's true). Without the emotional your relationship will fall apart. Without the physical you will be nothing more than friends and not form that special bond between romantic partners.

So as if it wasn't difficult enough finding someone to love us for who we are, we have to deal with finding someone who will connect both on an emotional and physical level. I wish you the best of luck in it though.