Update And Question

[Guest Tammy Maher]

Long time no talk... yeah I know I've been super freaking busy.

I survived Winter quarter with few problems. During spring break I came out to mom (again) and this time she took it very well. Now in Spring quarter I'm back to the busy schedule of that which is theatre, college, and life. I've become much more open about myself and who I am. I think I mentioned last time or something that I speak on peer-to-peer panels.

Sorry I'm typing this at 1:30 am my time and really am not thinking like I was today.

So my question is now that I'm starting to look for a therapist (again for the super billionth time) what should therapy look like? By this I mean what should me and the therapist discuss, what should they do, what should I do? That sort of stuff, because even time before when I've done counseling/therapy it has become awkward in sessions and I really don't know what to discuss and I kind of stop going because I'm not sure what to say.

Any help here is great.

^^/

[Sally]

Hi Janelle,

It is so good to see you again, I was wondering what had happened to you.

I am glad that your mother has taken it well and that you are feeling better about yourself and being more open, these are positive steps.

As to the therapist all you need to talk about is how you feel, the things that bother you, the things you enjoy just talk to them and they will be able to determine all that they need to bout your gender Identity issues.

I believe that in my time with my therapist she only asked me about when I first felt I should have been born a girl during the first two sessions and from then on we just talked like girlfriends about anything that came into my mind.

Good luck and try to drop by a time or two whenever you can.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Janelle...

Nice to see you again....

Well, most of us don't want to make going to therapy a career move...we'd like to go in, get it done and move on.

First off...be brutally honest about everything...I found that being upfront gets the juices flowing and makes talk easier..

Besides, if you're holding back, it's just a waste of time and money!

Tell them exactly how you feel...there are no wrong answers and they aren't there to get on your case..they are there to guide you and help you figure where need to go,,,,they can be your best friend, if you get a good one....

Good Luck, Honey!

Donna Jean

[Guest Soph]

Exactly what Sally and DJ said.

It doesn't always have to be some major breakthrough in therapy, and not everything you say has to be incredibly profound. You can just start off superficially, and I assure you if you trust the therapist enough you'll eventually get into the really deep stuff.

On that note, make sure you do trust the therapist. If he or she (I personally would have a tough time opening up to a male therapist) doesn't seem like a good or caring therapist, don't feel bad about finding a new one. I had to do that when my prior therapist wouldn't shut up about some conspiracy behind Obama... yeah, she would take 1/3 of the session talking about how she didn't trust him.

And try to make a bit of an effort to trust the therapist. They are bound to confidentiality, and they can't tell anyone else. It is doubtful that you could say anything that would surprise her, and if you can speak openly, you'll make a lot of progress. The therapist, however, should seldom try to lead the conversation. You should be in control of the whole session. They can ask guiding questions, but if you say that you don't want to talk about it, she should not persist. If she does, chances are shes a bad therapist.

The therapeutic relationship is an extremely unique one. They're your friends, but if you ever go shopping with them, you've crossed a line and the relationship changes to one thats not so healthy for your emotional progress. You will, if you come to trust the therapist, be able to tell her everything, and she'll probably open up to you sometimes, if only to make you not feel so alone. But it is not a normal friendship. If you EVER find you and your therapist gossiping, then you probably need to reevaluate your therapy

I wrote a lot more than I expected >_< I've been in therapy a lot, and seen a number of therapists. These are the conclusions I've arrived at that make a good therapist, and they may not be completely right, but they are as far as I understand therapy.

[Guest Tammy Maher]

Wow thanks.

It seems as (translated) though you're saying be more aggressive. I guess I should do that I more than I currently do. Like not violent aggressive, but stand up for what I want aggressive.

Thanks.

So what's been going on here?

^^/