Blahs

[Guest KellyKat]

Sitting all alone, smoking my last cigarette.

Smoke curls around me and my regrets.

A life that's, wasted.

Bitter tears are tasted.

Myself, I face it.

I get up and go to work each day.

Know that there is no other way.

Wonder if I'm okay.

Living in empty shell.

Each day another Hell.

Drowning in a empty well.

I bottle myself up tight, and move on.

Keep on going. Even when I feel gone.

I wear a mask of a happy fool. A paper thin smile.

Never goes out style, When life is so cruel.

With family and friends, that listen with no ears,

Lost in their fears. The fun never ends.

Why must I lie. As I'm screaming inside.

With no one to confide, I can't even cry.

In my dreams I escape.

I can be me until I wake.

No fears of life at stake.

Or worry of a heart to break.

From me you can not take,

This happiness that I make.

When not asleep I face my fears.

Long for darkness to hide my tears.

I look for help among the jeers.

Only seem to find the weight of years.

As life goes on and no one hears.

We've all called out to our dears,

To our families and to our peers.

Tomorrow I must make for me.

I hope some others will also see.

Who I am and just let me be.

For from this life I can not flee.

Why is it so hard to be free?

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Very awesome poem I enjoyed it very much

[Guest Donna Jean]

OMG, Kelly......

Do I ever feel that!

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Sally]

That was extremely well written and you have so beautifully explained how so many of us feel.

Why is it that freedom has the highest price tag off all?

I have had that feeling so often but it does make those occasional good days so much brighter by having such dark times to compare them too.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Girl Emily]

KellyKat,

It is so beautiful and so true. I am once again awed at the trancendent experience of transgenderism. Our ages, the vast distances, our unique families, social, ethnic, economic factors are all so unimportant as it relates to our shared experience of transgenderism. As a fan of sociology all the big factors that are studied just disappear under one seemingly small biological change.

Thank you KellyKat for confirming my membership here.

Huggs,

[Flint]

Talented

[Guest Elizabeth K]

BAM

Like a sledge hammer!

It's shared honey - we all have that...

Just so you know you aren't alone.

Lizzy

[Guest KellyKat]

EMPTY - by Kat

My heads still hurts, my heart feels weak.

Life means nothin' when you can't even sleep.

If I hate myself, I'll feel like a creep.

This is not what I've sown, but still what I reap.

I feel empty,

Nothin' inside.

I've seen plenty.

But my tears have all dried.

I'm not stupid, I know how to think.

I may be in the dark, but not on the brink.

Feel like I'm drunk, when I don't even drink.

Drown in myself, but still I won't sink.

I feel empty,

Nothin' inside.

I've seen plenty.

But my tears have all dried.

Feel all alone, even with friends.

Much as I try the hurt never ends.

I've never been me, always - just blends.

What would I give, if time only mends?

Upon this answer, my soul depends.

I feel empty,

Nothin' inside.

I've seen plenty.

But my tears have all dried.

I feel empty,

Like my life is a lie.

I plead gently,

That this case has't been tried.

The world has bent me.

But still I'm alive.

Luv Kat

[Guest Jean Davis]

WOW!!!

Both of those poems were wonderful.

You have a talent for writing, keep working on them.

I would love to read more.

LUV

Jean

[Guest KellyKat]

The first post was actually three unnamed poems. Empty is more of a attempt at song writing. I don't talk much when I'm down. Figured I needed to do something with my negative energy. Sorry if they are rough. These are just raw first drafts as I typed. No checking for meter, aliteration, or spelling. Just some noise in my head.

Luv Kat