The Trouble With Food

[Guest NatashaJade]

So as much as I diet, or have dieted, over the course of my life, I can never seem to get away from the issue of eating too much food that is not really very good for me. I've probably gained and lost more weight than I care to state. Currently, I'm going down, but for a little while I've been stalled out because for every 5 days of being a good little girl and eating what I am supposed to eat, I have two days of Cheesecake Factory madness that kills any good work I've done. My wife and I are mutually responsible for this. She eats because of money problems...she equates spending money that we don't have on going out to pretending that we don't have money problems. She is probably right to a certain extent. Eating out makes us feel well to do.

For me, though, I have begun to see the weight I carry as the shield I used in the past to make being a woman unthinkable. I was always a bear of a man and by being a well fed, fat bear, I could eat my dysphoria away. For a long time, I've eaten a lot of that pain. I still do. Yesterday, for instance, I was feeling it in a really bad way and when my wife suggested we blow off exercising and go out, I was happy to agree and go eat more than I should. I know what I'm doing and yet I do it. Food makes me feel better...for awhile. And then, when it's gone, I feel lousy again and the dysphoria is still there.

I keep promising myself that I will stop. There's an Aimee Mann song that says, "It's not going to stop 'til you wise up." I cry when I hear it because I just cannot seem to wise up. I know what I need to do and I know I have the will power somewhere because I've lost a lot of weight this year being very good. Lately, I've been slipping up too much and I wonder if it is a subconscious reaction to all the changes I am going through...a last vestige of the defense against dysphoria. I'm tired of seeing this unhealthy overweight person in the mirror. I'm working on being someone I can love, but I keep sabotaging my goal and then I hate myself for it. I'm really tired of hating myself.

Well, we really don't have the money to keep going out, so perhaps my bank account will force me to wise up. It's a really hard fight that I am tired of fighting. And now, of course, I have to fight even harder.

The worst part is knowing better and still acting against my interest. Insanity, right?

It's not going to stop until I wise up. I cannot afford not to.

luv

Gin

[Guest]

Hi Gin,

Food does seem to be a problem for many of us. My wife and I recently launched on a plan to reverse 30 years of bad eating habits. Luckily I'm nearly finished, but will be helping my wife for a time to come.

But, I don't know how to go back to regular diet - social binging is what kills me every time. And most of our friends are the same way - we're a bunch of enablers!

So, I should be applying Zen to my eating habits: mindful of the quantities, mindful of the alcohol consumption. So difficult!

But eating out is one of the worst things in these days. Restaurants don't care if you're healthy or not, they just want you to come back. The portion size is big enough for two people, and the nutrition is outweighed by carbs and fats.

It does take a business-like discipline to eat healthy. It takes serious shopping just to find foods that are really healthy in a grocery store. And there's more mis-information about diet than anything out there.

I'm planning to go something like the Mediterranean diet when I'm done with the current weight-loss program. I hope it works!

Love, Kat

[Guest NatashaJade]

Kathleen,

I know what you mean about social binging. We love to entertain and my wife is a great cook, so she always makes way too much food which we all stand around and eat.

I think the worst part of it is that recently, we've seen and read a lot about where our food comes from and we are heartbroken by it all and promise that we will become part of the solution and then go back to being part of the problem. So many layers of guilt (which we try to eat away...yikes!).

Good luck with your diet!

luv

Gin

[Guest Oasis]

Concerning eating out and nutrition: More and more are consumers demanding better portion sizes (As in, more choices and smaller choices) as well as a more nutritious meal. In the coming years there will be an incredibly visible trend in restaurants opting for this since this is what consumers will be demanding. Hence why I made the push and hopefully I will find out in the next week or so if I passed my National Nutrition certification exam. :3

[Guest TracieV3]

I have lost weight and gained weight back.

The key to dieting is to force your mind not to think about food.

The easiest way is to clear you mind and force on something else. Play a computer game, watch a movie, read a book, go out with friends (if you have close friends, I don't).

And what food you eat should be healthy; meat, bread, vegetables, and fruits are good. But be careful of canned fruits, some of them are in heavy sugary syrup.

Just cut out the sweets as best you can.

And good luck.

TracieV3

[Guest BeckyTG]

Gin,

I also have trouble with this and, since I travel a lot, eating out and eating right have become a chore. I have made it a game when I do go out to eat. I've found that the waitress can be very helpful in selecting a good, low fat, nutritious meal. A lot more restaurants have them these days.

Try to make it a game when you do go out to find meals that are healthy and low calorie. When I do eat this way I love the taste and now find it difficult to eat high-fat foods. They just don't taste so good any more.

I weigh myself every single morning to let me know when it's time to stop taking food liberties, so I don't get too far astray.

Hugs,

Becky