An Open Letter To Those Just Starting Out

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Dear fledgling ladies and gents,

You are about to embark on a magnificent and terrifying journey. One with ups and downs. Highs and lows. Good times and bad. Accomplishments and set backs. Each day will be an amazing step forward. Life lessons will be learned. Friendships will be gained and some will be tested. Always keep your head up, be proud of who you are, and remember that you are no less of an individual because you are transgendered.

Along the way you will be faced with a variety of tasks to accomplish towards your goal. Some may be relatively easy, some will require practice to fully master. Always keep in mind that for every task before you, there are a variety of ways to accomplish it. Remember, there is only one wrong way in this process and that is to self-medicate your hormone replacement therapy. I think we can all agree that is a major no-no.

Aside from that, remember that while on your transitioning path you will naturally be curious as to how to do something regarding the gender in which you will be living as in the future. There will be many people offering to give you advice on what worked for them. Always keep in mind that what worked for them may not necessarily work for you, but it may work for someone else instead. Don't be afraid to exercise your options. Don't think that just because one person said 'You have to do it this way or else' doesn't mean they're correct (again, not counting self-medicating HRT because that's a major no-no). For every MTF and FTM that followed the SOC guidelines to the T there are probably half a dozen MTFs and FTMs who diverted some from the SOC and they're all in the same place regardless.

Take advantage of your resources. If you're unsure how to do something..ask in the forums. Look it up on the internet. Look it up on youtube. Look around to other sites that cater to men or women (magazine websites are good for this). Remember to talk to people! One of the scariest feelings of transition is worrying that you're all alone out there. You're not! Join the chat room, if nothing else to connect to people just like you so you know you're not alone.

Please also keep in mind that while transitioning is important, that's not the only thing that defines you. Remember your hobbies and interests. You do not have to abandon hobbies just because it may not be stereotypical male or female. Sure you may have enjoyed video games as a male, but there are plenty of girl gamers out there as well. You don't have to give up gun collecting for gardening. (or vice versa). If gun collecting makes you happy, by all means continue doing it!

Remember: before transition, during transition, and after transition you are still going to be you. Remember that estrogen or testosterone will not cure everything. Life is not going to automatically become better once you start hormones. If anything it may become more complicated as you're dealing with the physical and emotional changes, but you're still going to be you. If there is something you are unhappy with your life, by all means take steps to change it! Transition may reveal other issues in your life that you may be unhappy with. If you have the ability and means, take steps to change those too.

And remember, you are no less of an individual than anyone else around you. Ignore negative people who will only try to bring you down.

Thank you for reading, good luck, and have a wonderful transition.

Love and hugs,

Liz

[Guest]

Thank you Lizzie!

Love, Kat

[Guest Jean Davis]

Bravo Liz!

Very well spoken.

Indeed, we must be true to ourselves and do things properly so that we all can live a long and happy life.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Evan_J]

Brava!!! **whistles, Claps

(She's great isn't she?)

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Oh Lizzie....

You are so wonderful!!!

((((HUGS))))

Love you

Brenda

[Sally]

Thank you Lizzie,

That is a great message both for those new to transitioning, about to begin or as a reminder for those of us already well on the way.

Life is never easy but it can be very satisfying.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Lizzie........

Ive never seen it put better, with more heart and "To the point" truth!

I absolutely LOVED it!

You are a winner in my book...

Very, very good!

Thank you, Honey!

LOVE

Donna Jean

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Dang!

Good stuff!

BUT... we always expect good writing from the Lizzy McT!

Elizabeth K

[Guest BeckyTG]

Sweet Lizzie,

Wow, that was great advice. Thank you for the time and thought it took to put that together.

Hugs,

Becky

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I have been to the mountain, and the view is great from up here..... thanks lizzy Mc T

[Guest angie]

I have reached the point on the transition hiway of being looked at for what

I am wearing,not who I may be.More than anything,be yourself.

Angie

[Guest Girl Emily]

Liz,

As relatively new to transition I will try to remember your words of sage advice. If I should forget a swift kick figuratively speaking is allowed. Thank you. Liz.

Huggs,

[Guest viv]

Liz,,lots of beginners will gain so much from your words of wisdom .

Your a wonderful sis ,,,good to know your here ,,,,luv,viv

[Guest SpaceyCasey]

Bravo darling!! Well said!!! As the only two members of the Cult of Gerald, I think we should decree this to be our most sovereign tome, to pass forth to the troubled and weak.

<3

~Casey~

[Guest Chance]

Thank you. This brings me good feelings.

[Guest Jennyw157]

Hey Liz,

What a great read that was and for me just starting out it really helped, thank you so much. Your a very good writer.

Huggs

Jenny

[Guest Anira]

*hugs you gently* thank you liz. that was a very powerful message. and something i fink MANY of us needed to hear. thank you for posting this

[Guest Max101796]

Sounds good, I'll try to remember that. But is it just me, or does the begining sound like the opening to a Pokemon Nintendo game? (Oh, & no offence or anything, if its possible you'd take it that way. Just joking around. Its good, really.)

Max

[Guest Opal]

Liz, that is wonderful advice!

Opal

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Oh! I thought of something else I wanted to mention: work on putting yourself out there and getting real life experience!

Now I can easily provide examples for this so just take the examples and make them your own. About a year ago I was doing the girl thing about part time. In the trucking industry I could go days without a shower so I couldn't really do the girl thing if I had no opportunity to shave or clean myself up but those times when I had a weekend off I would do the girl thing from after I checked in until right before I checked out. Now, since I was staying at a hotel that provided me a few opportunities for some real world girl experience. I was hesitant at first but then I realized I needed to seize the opportunities that were in front of me.

First example: pizza delivery. I don't know about you but there were many times I was doing the kinda-sorta girl mode thing and I'd order pizza and then quickly change into something more guy-like until the knock on the door, pay the person and they left. After awhile I challenged myself to get into girl mode and then stay that way. That included ordering pizza (usually online) and then being a girl when it arrived. Now most of the time I'd pay with a credit card but here's where I thought of an additional opportunity: pay with cash. So I'd get into pretty girl mode. Order online and click that I was paying by cash. Oh but I didn't have cash on me, so what did I do? That's right, I walked to the closest gas station to use their ATM and maybe buy like a 2-liter or something. Sure it would have been easier to just pay by credit card again but then I wouldn't have had the real world experience of going into a gas station, just like most other people do on a regular basis.

Second example: the laundromat. This involves not only going out in girl mode once, but at least three times! First to put the laundry in, then to put it in the dryer, then to take it back to your room. Oh and of course you could under-estimate and then be in the laundry room waiting on your clothes to finish. I like this example just because it provided three opportunities to be out as a girl with the chance that you may have to interact with others at least 3 times. If you're feeling brave you could even fold your clothes right there, but if you're feeling nervous or anxious you can always take it back to your room and fold them there. No need to be embarrassed about folding your undies or bras because you're a girl and that's just some of the things we wear regularly.

Third example: getting ice. Yeah this doesn't take much. Just going out of your room, walking down the hall, getting ice and walking back. But! You're out in public view and run the chance of social interaction in that brief two minutes your gone. Sure it feels like forever but once you're back in the room, especially if this is your first time out, it feels like a major accomplishment. Granted the chance for interaction is kinda low with this one but there's always that chance you may pass someone or someone might be there when you're coming or going.

Fourth example: housekeeping. This one is pretty easy too but it's guaranteed social interaction. The housekeeper knocks on your door and you let them in. I don't know how much info they have on their clipboard but just keep your lady like demeanor up and remember your pleases and thank yous and just continue being a girl. Don't be embarrassed about having your nail polish sitting out, or your lotion or your makeup because, well, you're a girl and that's expected and not out of the ordinary.

If anything, these instances that I've done many times made me feel empowered once they were completed. Especially walking to a gas station to us the ATM and talking to the lady behind the counter and just socially interacting like two women. When you get back to your room you feel amazing, you feel empowered, you feel motivated because everything worked out just fine and you want to keep the positive ball rolling. I hope each of you will take some or all of this and use it in your lives to encourage and motivate yourselves, if you're not already full time, to practice some real life scenarios and further boost your full-time self-esteem. When you see for yourself that you're passing when everything comes together you're more motivated to do it for longer periods of time, or at least more frequently. Success is positive reinforcement that you're doing something right.

Take care ladies and gents.

[Guest sarah f]

That is some really great advice Liz. I like your ideas on RLT. I just might try that.

Love,

Sarah F

[Guest Chandra]

Dear Lizzie,

Thank you so much for your excellent post. I really enjoyed it very much. I love your straight shooting no nonsense style. It sure did help me a lot as I'm sure it did many others. You really got your act together girl and I'm very glad your here and willing to share your real world experiences with everyone.

Keep it coming girl it's all good.

Love, Chandra