Don't Hate. Appreciate.

[Guest SouthernBelle]

Thx for your response. I must say that this is a very well-put post. I didn't expect such a thorough rebuttal, and when I first saw it, I kind of wanted to make it a debate. I've actually spent the last couple day (or however long) trying to figure out exactly what to say, but I keep coming to the same problem: this is not your WHOLE opinion. I would LOVE to know what your whole opinion is on the matter. Please indulge me. In the meantime, I am taking up your challenge (although the fact that I do not know of an openly transsexual celebrity off hand might be indicative of my chances). PLEASE don't forget to come back to this post.

For now I will say, simply, that while all of your points are true, that none of them mean that the future of transsexuals, regarding acceptance, is bleak. The road ahead is a rocky one, indeed, but that only makes it all the more worthwhile.

HUGS AND KISSES

Belle

I give. I can't think of ONE transsexual celebrity that fits your description. That was a very good point.

[Guest SouthernBelle]

I'd say we'll see acceptance sometime after the year 2030, IF AND ONLY IF the transgender community starts working a little harder on the public front. I know the LGB is, and they'll definitely receive total acceptance long before us. We've got to step it up by far.

>Anna

It's true that our community will need to step up.

I was born in 1986. Can anyone on here that had reached adulthood prior to the 1990 describe the differences, if any, between the LGB community 20 years ago and the trans community today? And I mean, primarily, on the public front. I remember when Ellen came out on Live TV (and I was like, "No way!") and I know that it was sometime in the mid-90's. But what about in the late 80's up through 1990?

[Guest SouthernBelle]

I truly believe it will happen less than 20 years! The people around me have already accepted the homosexual people (both gay and lesbian), crossdressers and metrosexuals. So, I am positive it will happen! Even though right now, the people I know see transsexual people as "the other gender wannabes aka want to crossdress for life." However I just ignore it and tell them "I'm a female, not a male, not a crossdresser, not gay, just a transsexual female that will be a complete female in less than 10 years." I think I'm influencing my family, family's friends, friends of friends to actually think and realize there is transsexual people and it does not mean crossdressing or something like that.

I'm helping out the transsexual people on this planet to be acceptable down here in Australia and understood properly.

I'm glad to hear that you have the right attitude! It will take time--years--but with more trans men and women like you, we WILL see change.

On another note, isn't it funny how homosexuality is now almost completely acceptable in the public eye and, yet, transsexuals are still seen as "gross"? Why is it that society always tends to accept one "weird" (different) thing at a time? Can't they see that while we are most definitely very unlike homosexuals (except for gay girls, like me), that it shouldn't be too far a stretch to just add one more group? Like I know that what we are asking, when considering acceptance, is so much more, but... Ugh!

[Guest SouthernBelle]

Well, I think that legislating acceptance and in actual practice are two totally different things...

Just like with the blacks and the inroads over the last 45 years, there is still plenty racism to go around....

Same with laws for us....the protections made into law are just to make someone think twice before beating one of us up, but, it won't change their mind about how they feel about us, blacks, gays or any other group....

And while blacks are generally more accepted these days, because people now interact with them more on a daily basis and find out the old sterotypes aren't true and they are just people like everyone else...

I, like everyone else, just want to be accepted as the woman I am and to shed the Trans tag...

I want to re-enter society as me...Donna Jean...the woman...not live out my life as a transwoman....

Donna Jean

Well, it is certainly true that blacks are still battling racism, just as women (both cis and trans) are still battling their (our) own prejudices. It is an undeniable fact that human kind likes to separate one another into neatly "defined" groups and apply standards as is commonly seen fit. But I don't expect that these laws being passed are to be the "be all, end all" in our fight for acceptance. I DO, however, see them as a sign of things to come. Remember that laws were passed for the protection of both blacks and for women before either group saw even a slice of equality.

One can never expect that every individual will treat every individual as an individual (know what I mean?). BUT I think that acceptance in the public eye is a good start towards general acceptance in our society. There will always be people that hate us as there will always be people that hate the French, but one day we will be seen as a normal part of society, just as the French are a normal part of the global society.

[Guest SouthernBelle]

You didn't offend me. I just really really hate being trans. Can anyone name one positive thing about being a transsexual and really mean it? I sure can't. I'm all for those who are proud to be a transsexual, that is of course their choice and I support them on it and wish them the best of luck with their quest for acceptance. However, you will NEVER see me stand next to them as one myself.

Hugs

Ash

Well, thank GOD I didn't offend you! lol I really was worried there. I thought, 'OMG, I've only been on Laura's for a little while, and ALREADY, I'm making enemies?!'

I can name a positive. Once finished transitioning, I will have lived life with the expectations of both males AND females. I will have seen the world from two sides and learned things that most people never do. OK, so there's A LOT of negatives to go with it and that's probably the ONLY positive. Perhaps that is why SO MANY transsexuals are SO unhappy?

Then again, what's so great about being gay?

[Guest AshleyRF]

Well, thank GOD I didn't offend you! lol I really was worried there. I thought, 'OMG, I've only been on Laura's for a little while, and ALREADY, I'm making enemies?!'

I can name a positive. Once finished transitioning, I will have lived life with the expectations of both males AND females. I will have seen the world from two sides and learned things that most people never do. OK, so there's A LOT of negatives to go with it and that's probably the ONLY positive. Perhaps that is why SO MANY transsexuals are SO unhappy?

Then again, what's so great about being gay?

I'd rather not know anything about how men live their lives.

I rather like being in a lesbian marriage. I can think of billion positive things about that.

[Guest SouthernBelle]

I'd rather not know anything about how men live their lives.

I rather like being in a lesbian marriage. I can think of a billion positive things about that.

Ha! Well, I think that there are positives and negatives to both gender groups.

OK, so I'm going to be COMPLETELY honest with you about something and I hope that noone takes offense. I kind of hate men (or masculinity or something) I know it may sound contradictory to all that I've been preaching, but I stand by everything I've said and I never allow my reservations to cause me to treat men with disrespect because of how I feel. Besides, I have many, many male friends and family members whom I adore.

Still, there are rules that men are taught to follow from birth that I believe to be a positive thing in my life. Just the same, there are things that women are taught from birth that I consider to be... bad ideas. My point is this: I believe we all create our own circumstances and I will take the teachings from both sexes that I think will be the most positive in my life. And, as I so desire gender equality, I will be teaching my son all the same things; and if I ever have a daughter, she will be raised with the same ideals.

I'm curious, though, what kinds of positives are you talking about? Like I can imagine great things to come for me (as I am a lesbian, myself), but I can't imagine a positive in being homosexual that has no parallel in being transsexual. Then again, I have never considered it. My mind is going crazy just wondering exactly what it is that you mean... do tell!

[Guest AshleyRF]

you effectively double your wardrobe by being a lesbian. lol

you have a very intimate bond that personally I could never get with a man.

It's not all about sex.

you generally have more in common.

You don't generally have to watch EVERY sporting event on TV

I could go on and on and on.... lol

[Guest SouthernBelle]

you effectively double your wardrobe by being a lesbian. lol

you have a very intimate bond that personally I could never get with a man.

It's not all about sex.

you generally have more in common.

You don't generally have to watch EVERY sporting event on TV

I could go on and on and on.... lol

Well, I will NEVER fit in my wife's clothing. She's petite!

I think heterosexual couples have an intimate bond too... it's just different (i'm guessing here)

I LIKE the part about not being about sex. I DO like sex, but I could never want sex to be the focus of any relationship. NEVER!!

More in common... OK, I like that too.

And "Haha!" on the sports. I HATE sports!

OK, so I guess you've got me beat. I can't really think of any parallels for being transsexual. Perhaps it's because I, too, have experienced emotional trauma as a result of being born this way. I must say that I can't imagine an emotionally traumatic result from being in a lesbian marriage.

But just because something has zero or few positives, I don't see why I should hate it. To let negative experiences or a lack of positive outcomes as a result of said negative experiences cause such disdain... it's just not me.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

No because I should have NEVER been born this way to begin with. I hate my trans past. It is something I am ashamed of, something I despise, and something I want to forget. My goal and purpose behind transition was to become the woman I have always been inside, not to become a transwoman.

I think Ashley is really a spokesman for a large part of the community - a part we do not have all the time here on Laura's. I ran into so much resentment on the Beginning Life Forums - resentment of being a transwoman!

I have a lot of that resentment. I just want to be the woman I was supposed to be!

Transsexuality - I don't like it that much. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

BUT for my mental health, I HAD to accept myself. I yam, after all is said and done, what I yam.

Popeye the Sailor Man!

GRIN - of course not! All over tha place. I cannot stay serious!

I am what I am - and that is perfectly OKAY! See how sane that makes me? duh

HEE HEE

Ashley is saying what everyone here really feels, though! GOD plays this terrible game with us!

Elizabeth Anne

[Guest SouthernBelle]

This has been a great topic. I guess the most important thing that I've learned here is that acceptance means something different to everyone.

Thx y'alll, for all the really great posts.

LOVE

Belle