Awful Day

[Guest chngnwnd]

Well....

I am not sure how things are going right now. I presented my ex with a new settlement that I wrote with much assistance and counsel over the weekend on Monday. I offered her joint custody with unrestricted visitation with me as the promary custodial parent (which means the kids continure to live with me).

I also offered her a generous buy out of her portion of the house (more than what I think is fair).

Keep me in your prayers and let's hope she takes it and this nightmare ends...

Then I can have that awkward conversation with the parents and start going out with my friends occasionally again...(can't even present as a female once in awhile right now - had to take my entire wardrobe to a friend's house so she doesn't get in the house and steal the rest).

[Sally]

Good luck on the settlement but don't expect anything like a rational or even sane response, my ex and her family have been agreed on everything from the beginning but along with my more than generous offer they have wanted me to give them a large sum of money - up front.

I could never agree because I have only had access to that much money in my retirement accounts which I drained while married to cover the lifestyle that she was accustomed to but neither of us could afford.

So the end result is that while I have never wanted to hurt her in any way and I still don't my bankruptcy is effecting her credit because we are still married and now they are getting a foreclosure added to that - smart moves especially when you consider that her chief advisor's husband is a CPA (obviously not a very good one).

Just hope for the best - I didn't have any children involved so it only effects me and of course my family who have dumped so much money into trying to help me keep this money pit.

And on a side note - with so many thousands of foreclosed houses all across the country the mortgage company is convinced that taking on one more is better business than working out a smaller payment structure - pennies on the dollar is acceptable from the auctions but never from me - even though I was willing and able to pay more than they will get at auction.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him think!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

One thing from me, Honey........

No matter what don't give unilateral consessions!

Don't just give things up for the sake of niceness...

I did that with my ex wife...we divorced "No Fault" where it was not contested ad no kids involved.

We both decided to go our seperate ways...no hard feelings.

But, I was still raw from the failure of it and I was hurting badly...

I told her to come over on a Saturday and get her things and the other stuff that she thought was fair....

I'd leave for a while because I didn't want to be there....

Well, she wiped me out!

Left me with one dish, one spoon, one fork, only the couch to sleep on.... no towels or any other houseghold items...

Don't let yourself get raked through the coals.....

At least attemjpt to make it fair!

Good luck....

Donna Jean