A Little About Myself

[Guest Nibel]

Hi there!

I know this site for a while but never have introduced myself... I did post a few messages some days ago, but I know this site for many years now, usually accessing it from time to time. I don't participate very often because of my own life conditions and GID crisis. When I feel more open to transgenderism I do lots of research and reading, but then I feel guilty or chained to my male life I have to forget everything and pretend it's everything alright... then after a few weeks or maybe months the conscience hammer hits my head and I'm thinking all over again: "what are you doing with your life? be who you want to be!"

I identify myself as an over-the-fence MTF TS... that's because I can't let go everything of my male persona to be a proper female and live a female life. I've grow attached to a few aspects of the male life, most of them I learnt to like because of the need to behave correctly according to my natural gender. Other reason is that I have a wife I love, and that's a great source of conflict to both of us, since she didn't ask to marry another woman. But luckily i am that she is willing to deal with the situation as long as I don't do the SRS. She is fine with breasts and a feminine figure, but she doesn't want me to cut "down there".

Because of that I'm interested in discuss low dose HRT regimens and the results of that. I'm want to be able to give my wife at least part of the sex life she deserves, so I will keep a balance between hormones and erection capabilities. I want to meet people who have been there before, and in the future maybe I will able to help people with the same dilemma who are just starting.

Thank you very much!

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hello, Nibel....

Well, Honey.....It's a two sided coin.....

Firstly....for estrogen to work at all, one must also have a blocker for the testosterone...

So, basically you may end up losing your libido and ability to preform...

We all go to different places on the gender spectrum, but lots of doing hormones is a trade off for something else...

Talk to your Endo about what you're wanting to accomplish and see how they can help you achive that....OK?

Good luck, Hon!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[JenniferB]

Hi Nibel,

Your question is one I'm sure other transgender people have. I'm not totally knowledgeable about low dose hormones, but from what I understand HRT is an all or nothing proposition. The way you think will ultimately change. In other words your brain will become re-wired to start thinking like a female. My guess is that in low doses, it will just take longer to become a female.

There are alternatives however to taking hormones, cross-dressing for one. I'm sure others here can give you a more informed response.

I wish you luck in finding the right balance that both you and your spouse will be happy with.

Love Susan

[Guest Nibel]

Thanks for the reply Donna. I'm messing with a complicate balance here, I know... I am taking the risk of getting on the HRT train and don't want to get out later. I've dreamed about SRS for a long time, but human feelings are very complicated. For now at least I want to give something to my wife hold onto. Maybe in a few years everything will be different and she will accept the SRS. Maybe in a few years she will still not want SRS. So for now I will stick with I've got that is the middleground (and that's what about marriage is about right?)

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

Welcome to Laura's

[Guest Shane_82]

Welcome

~ Shane

[Guest miss kindheart]

Hi Nibel,

<<hug>>

Welcome to Laura's Playground.

Please feel free to come over and chat sometime.

The Chat room does require another registration that is separate from from your forums one.

Please read the chat room rules before coming in, and expect a short interview with one of the chat room moderators.

One of the things that they will ask you is if you read the rules.

We have MTF meetings-Mon & Sat 9pm est, and you are welcome to attend.

We all look forward to seeing you.

vanna

[Guest SouthernBelle]

Welcome to the Playground!

Hey there,

I just thought I'd mention that there's nothing wrong with holding onto some or even ALL aspects of masculinity/maleness. Gender is not a black and white issue, but it is a spectrum of thousands of colors. Basically, what I'm saying is you can be who/whatever you want, especially if it's who you really are!

Oh, and I hope you and your wife are able to figure something out that works for the both of you!

GOOD LUCK

Belle

[Guest Nibel]

Thanks for our support everybody! I'm feeling happy for being able to talk to such nice people and I feel that LP is really a great place to talk, make friends and share histories and information. I used to access another forum before, but there if you said "i'm in between" you would get kicked in the face by the most "conservative" members. I found it was a quite intolerant community which is odd since we are mostly trying to overcome the intolerant society around us, so why create one inside, right? I'm very glad to discover that this forum is different and probably the other forum was just a bad sample of the TG community, and not the rule at all.

I guess we all have similar desires but we need to make concessions to be able to live better in the environment that surrounds us. It's hard to drop a lifetime of habits even when you know they are the wrong ones. Some people feel like this about smoking, I feel about my male life... but then I feel in love with my wife and she is a wonderful person. Maybe if I found out about transgenderism before I've met her things would be different, but now I simply can't ignore this wonderful woman. I want to feel complete, but I will make the concessions I need to keep her, because without her I wouldn't be complete either.

That does make any sense?

[Guest Donna Jean]

I guess we all have similar desires but we need to make concessions to be able to live better in the environment that surrounds us. It's hard to drop a lifetime of habits even when you know they are the wrong ones. Some people feel like this about smoking, I feel about my male life... but then I feel in love with my wife and she is a wonderful person. Maybe if I found out about transgenderism before I've met her things would be different, but now I simply can't ignore this wonderful woman. I want to feel complete, but I will make the concessions I need to keep her, because without her I wouldn't be complete either.

That does make any sense?

Yes, Honey...it makes total sense...

As Trans folk, we have to make hard decisionhs ad consessions every day of our lives....

Hang in there....you're lucky to have a loving woman!

Take care of her...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest ricka]

Hello Nibel and a very warm welcome to Laura's and our family here. One of the wonderful thing about Laura's is that you don't have to "choose sides" when it comes to your gender identity. Many of us here who are mtf's hold on to some aspects of our male identity whether it be for relational or career reasons. There is no condemnation here. I for one identify as a female but I am not on HRT and my male genitalia are still intact. That makes me no less a woman than another woman who is on hormones and has had reconstructive surgery. One of the wonderful things about Laura's is that regardless of our choices we are all accepted and supported here.

Hugs, Ricka