My Bio In A Poem

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

A little note: This is my bio. I did it in poetry form because it was easier for me. Not only do I talk about (in places) being trans I also talk about other issues in my life that I have gone through so far. Warning it is a long poem!!!

My Bio by Lee-Asher Geo-James

May 19th, 2010

June 12th, 1991

A little boy is born

The Drs say “It’s a girl!”

He is named Stacey Marie

He is born to a mother with severe mental health problems

His father a drug addict

It’s his fifth birthday

His dad is picking him up from daycare

Bringing him to his paternal grandmother’s house

His dad leaves him there

There is a cake

With a #5 candle on it

His dad is picking him up

Bringing him to a big place

A place he has never been to

His mother is in a bed

She looks tired

He gets up on the bed next to her

He asks to see the baby

The baby is there

His name is Zachary

A baby brother

He gets a little bit older

Zachary getting the attention that he wants

He longs for that attention

He follows in his father’s footsteps as best he can

He tries to act like his little brother as best as he can

He hangs out with the boys

He plays the sports with them

He enjoys it

When he plays with the girl

He is the boyfriend

The husband

It feels right

He spends the night at a friend’s house

Learns more than he thought he ever would

Plays the male role

It feels oh so right

So normal

In October of 2002

He moved in with his paternal grandmother

Zachary and him

In January of 2003

When he was just 12 years old

He saw the stuff

He got freaked out

Didn’t understand

Why it was there

So confused

Started to cut him self

Just at the age of 12

He got caught

He was not careful

School did not call home

A lot going on at home

Fighting all the time

Cops being called

Emotionally abusive

A girl at the school

Saying she’s a boy

He knew that’s how he felt

And he treated him like crap

So that no one would know that he was a boy

So that no one would suspect him as well

The other guy left the school before the school year ended

He always wondered if he killed himself

Until years later

Started 8th grade

Started to write poetry

He wrote about a girl

And what he would do with her

He showed his best friend, Aly at the time

She thought that he was a lesbian

He said no

It was in a man’s point of view

Later that year they have a fight

Aly stops talking to him

They end up having a class together

Aly writes him a note and he reads it

She asks him if he is a lesbian

It was going around the school that he was

He tells her no

He isn’t

She tells him she is bisexual

They start talking again

He comes out to her the next day as bisexual as well

In 2005

He cuts

His grandmother finds out

She punishes him

Yells at him

Treats him like crap

Gosh darned the school system

In April of 2005

He fails to return home from school

He decides to hang with his friends instead

He gets home around 7 at night

They tell him to leave

Then they call the cops

He makes it to his friend’s house

They call his grandma and the cops show up

They talk to his aunt and he goes stay with her and his uncle

He stays there a week before they find out that he can’t stay there due to laws about daycares and foster care

He moves into a foster home

Still cutting him self

Has an okay time though

Until

June 2005 rolls around

He has a break down in school

Just days before he turns 14

He goes to a lock down kinda place

He is there for 16 days

He has is 14th birthday there

From there he goes back and forth between group homes

Only being in two foster homes

Had anger issues

Continues to cut

Continues to deal with his identity

He comes out as bisexual

He comes out as lesbian

As straight

All over the place

He tells a few people about himself

But they don’t tell anyone and they don’t understand

When he is 15, 2006

He ends up in an all girl’s group home

He came out to himself months before

And went by many names

Settling on Geo

After going through

Nick

Nate

Chris

In 2007 he came out to his family

It didn’t go too well

He left the group home in 2009

Went to a foster home

Graduated high school on June 12th, 2009

His 18th birthday

He moved in with a friend for the month of July

He was dating a guy he meant online

He found out that he was dating someone else too

He was crushed

But he started to talk to him again anyways

And then started to date him again

He moved out of his friend’s house and into his mom’s house

Found out again that he was with that girl

But yet again still took him back

He moved in

It was hard

And a lot of emotional abuse

And fighting

The threat of rape lingering in the air

He kicked him out after a week

Then he started to date a friend

And it was going okay

He learned something about him

That probably would have scared some people off

But not him

Things were going okay

Until another came into the picture

His boyfriend lost internet

Couldn’t get on as much

Didn’t have a phone

This other person convinced him to leave

That he was no good

And that’s what he did

Without even telling him

Without leaving a note

On October 7, 2009

They picked him up from the airport

He had moved in

They fought a lot

But he refused to let himself see what was going on

He didn’t listen to his friends

His mom threatened to hit him if he didn’t get in the bedroom

This guy decided that it was time for them to leave

They went to his aunt’s place

His sister stole from him

But on January 13th, 2010

They packed their stuff

With GreyHound tickets

They had a mini party with his three sisters, aunt, uncle and his niece

Then off they went to the station

And off to Colorado

A week later

He breaks up with him

He goes to the airport

Missed his plane

He called him

And asked him to come back

And he did

All they did was fight and argue

He was a cheater if he talked to anyone

So he never talked to anyone

He was lonely

He hardly talked to his family

While he sat there making new friends

Talking to people

In the back of his mind he knew he was cheating

And he still feels that way

He got a job at Wendy’s

Worked there about a month

On Easter 2010

He broke up with him yet again

3 days later was with someone new

He picked up smoking again

He was hanging out outside chain smoking

There was this guy

Who went by New York

He invited him side

Being as how he trusts everyone he went inside

New York put a movie on

Then was like

“Can I see what you look like without your glasses?”

He took them off

New York said cute

Then asked if he could kiss him

He agreed

He was scared

He felt sick

He kept trying to move

But he was able to keep him off

Eventually he left

He went back to the ex’s

He was going to take a shower

But then decided to go get more cigs

He got there

He looked sad

So when the cashier asked for a hug he didn’t think anything of it

But then he put his hand up his shirt

Pulled him close

Kissed him

And wouldn’t let go

He threw a pack of free cigs at him

He left with two packs and a loser scratch off ticket

He got back to the ex’s and took a hot shower

Brushed his mouth

Washed his body over and over

Cried in the shower

He decided it was time for him to go back to Vermont

2 weeks later he was in the airport

April 15th

His first tattoo on his wrist

He got on his plane this time

And off he went headed back to Vermont

Where he is today

He is now with a wonderful woman

He goes by Lee-Asher Geo-James now

And is getting married on September 17th, 2010

Lee-Asher is now struggling with his identity

Finding himself to be more feminine

Wanting to wear make up

Wearing nail polish

Feeling like a girl

And loosing his mind

He wonders if it has anything to do with his sexuality

Every time he has dated a male identified person he was masculine

Now he feels more feminine with Willow

He wonders

He ponders

He has no answers

He wishes that he could figure it all out

He wishes that he could not feel this way

Not feel like a girl at times

He knows that in time everything will sort itself out

Ever so slowly

~Fin~

[Guest miss kindheart]

<<hugs>>

Lee

Your gonna get there, it just takes time.

Try and enjoy the ride.

We all live in the moment.

Be good!

~fin~

Haven't seen that for a while

vanna

[Guest Donna Jean]

Holy cow, Geo.......

That poem is epic...like "Gone with the Wind!"

I read it at work earlier and then again at home later to make sure that I didn't miss anything...

*whew*

Donna Jean

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

<<hugs>>

Lee

Your gonna get there, it just takes time.

Try and enjoy the ride.

We all live in the moment.

Be good!

~fin~

Haven't seen that for a while

vanna

I thought the whole ~fin~ thing would make it look good

I just want to get everything figured out sooner rather than later.

*hugs*

Holy cow, Geo.......

That poem is epic...like "Gone with the Wind!"

I read it at work earlier and then again at home later to make sure that I didn't miss anything...

*whew*

Donna Jean

Yeah.

It's been rough

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

wow. lol i read the whole thing! it's great

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

wow. lol i read the whole thing! it's great

Yeah. Thanks.

Oh and I'm sorry...

-LeeAsher

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Good writing

I just feel... I don't know...

What is this going to end as? I think... donno... well...

Its going somewhere and maybe? You are what you are? Until you find happiness, there may be more story. I like story but i like you finding happiness more!

Geo - you did right posting this. Wear all the nail polish and make-up you want! Just... be happy? PLEASE?

Lizzy

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

Good writing

I just feel... I don't know...

What is this going to end as? I think... donno... well...

Its going somewhere and maybe? You are what you are? Until you find happiness, there may be more story. I like story but i like you finding happiness more!

Geo - you did right posting this. Wear all the nail polish and make-up you want! Just... be happy? PLEASE?

Lizzy

Trying real real hard to be positive. Trying to focus on all the good things going on with. I am trying to get rid of my past as best as I can.

My wedding with Willow is in September so I am just trying to focus all my time into that. I am trying to focus my time into planning and getting the guest list ready. Trying to figure out the SSI stuff. Trying to figure out when I am moving to Ohio, because it seems as though that is where I'll be heading.

Thank you so much!

*hugs*

LeeAsher or Geo :P