What If

[Guest My_Genesis]

My therapist has some reservations about my transition: she says, what if I go through all this and I'm still not happy?

So I'm really wondering about that. I know I not just want to, but need to transition. It's like, it's not even an option, not even a question anymore.

But what if I still don't fit into society? What if I still can't have a normal social life and normal friendships (things I've struggled with almost my entire life)? What if I still feel "different" and am still alienated, like I've felt all my life? What if I am happier than I've ever been, but still not satisfied with my life?

[Guest Jean Davis]

My therapist has some reservations about my transition: she says, what if I go through all this and I'm still not happy?

So I'm really wondering about that. I know I not just want to, but need to transition. It's like, it's not even an option, not even a question anymore.

But what if I still don't fit into society? What if I still can't have a normal social life and normal friendships (things I've struggled with almost my entire life)? What if I still feel "different" and am still alienated, like I've felt all my life? What if I am happier than I've ever been, but still not satisfied with my life?

Honey

The question isn't if you will feel comfortable out in society, It's if you feel comfortable in your skin or looking in the mirrior.

Here at Laura's we are considered a society and you fit in just fine and have many friends. Where you fit in in life all depends on where you go but how you feel about yourself is totally different. Can't run away from yourself.

LUV

Jean

[Guest Alex Blitzen]

I've worried that I still wouldn't be happy after transition. But, I won't be happy if I don't transition either. I have to be myself. I need to transition. And fitting into society and having a social life... you can get help with that. Before or after transition, that could be something completely separate.

Maybe your therapist just wants to make sure that you are sure this is the right thing for yourself. Making sure you are ready.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

A good friend of mine used to mention the quote, "Everywhere you go, there you are." anytime someone would talk about changing their circumstances to get away from some problem. I think the quote is a little bit applicable here. It's very tempting to think that transition will fix a lot of our problems. In some respects, it will. However, a lot of things that are bothering you now will probably continue to bother you post-transition.

That's not to say that transition doesn't bring about positive change. We can't start to be comfortable interacting with the rest of the world when we can't even be comfortable with what we see in the mirror. Some people DO have less trouble with anxiety and depression after transition. That's awesome. Still, the other side to that is that transition brings new stress with it. If you are an anxious person, you will probably still be anxious after transition. This has certainly been the case for me.

Your therapist is making a really good point. It's good that you are considering this now instead of brushing it off, which is often a tempting option.

Will you ever fit in? No clue. I know I won't, but that's more about my personality than anything. I've decided that, in a lot of respects, I don't want to fit in. Now that I am comfortable with myself, I am more comfortable with standing out a little. Even so, being transgender means that there are some ways you will always be different from others. You will have had experiences that others have not, and this will give you a different perspective on a lot of things. Your body won't be exactly like natal males or females. There's not much you can do about this stuff. It's just something to think about and decide how you want to deal with it.

So.... Yeah. A lot of stuff comes from within.

[Guest Evan_J]

Stranded hit all the main points.

You will still be you. Much as it would be wonderful, you do not "come out the other side natal". And you will always have to be able to deal with that. You can live stealth, once you have all your paperwork in order (and I mean up to and including the birthcert. , without it the opportunity decreases even a faint percentage) and even then it has to always be a thing you can handle having to navigate. There will be doctors in your life. There will be people you were related to. There will also be who you have a relationship with. No matter how stealth . You still have to be able to handle the reality that even with a penis and testicles, you had a hystorectomy once, and you'll still be injecting testosterone.

You have to be able to handle that you are you. AND be able to walk out the door with actually more confidence than ever.

[Flint]

It's a thought I've often wondered.

My take on it is, like you It doesn't really feel like an 'option' I don't feel like I can pick and choose and say "Hmm I might not transition" Because life seems impossible without ever transitioning. I've been in stages of denial throughout my life, in fact I'd say it's this year I've actually come out of the womb of denial. I KNOW going on hormones will not take away all my problems, I'll still have my mood disorder to contend with and other medical conditions including social things. BUT if I can get to a day when I can finally look in the mirror see my face and say "Alright my hair is grey, I've got a few wrinkles Sure there are better looking men out there than me, but this is a MANS FACE!" is the day I can finally smile for real and I do think it'll help with so many social things. I think that in turn will make me feel more comfortable being out. I have a problem on the phone, not because of how I may sound as in words I say but because of how my voice sounds. If my voice was deeper I would find it so much easier. I'm sure I'll still be a somewhat nervous person, it's in my nature. But I'm also sure for the most part it'll help me face my nerves more.

[Guest Evan_J]

I can get to a day when I can finally look in the mirror see my face and say "Alright my hair is grey, I've got a few wrinkles Sure there are better looking men out there than me, but this is a MANS FACE!"

You sound like me. I didn't want to die not seeing a man's face (fully) that I could look at and digest was mine