Dysphoria/fears/everyday Crap

[Flint]

What do you mean by "camp" when you say:

*hugs*

I'm saying regardless of how manly or camp (feminine man) someone is, another person can not say to someone "You are not a man because you are too camp" well they can say it, but it doesn't mean it's true. It doesn't define you.

I don't like saying feminine man because I don't believe there is such a thing. I think camp is what people see as feminine but it's VERY different actually to how many girls act. Now I know that there are the stereotypes and that women love camp men because they can go shopping with them (some of them not all of them). But actually that man even though camp and maybe does the same squeals as a girl is a man. I don't know fully how to explain in words how there is a difference from a glance you could almost think maybe they are acting exactly the same way. But if you really take notice you'll notice some differences, maybe subtle differences. But there are differences. I just don't know how to explain what I mean. I think some FTM men are the perfect example of that, some may be somewhat 'feminine' or camp yet they feel trapped in the wrong body. Because they're minds are still male, a feminine or camp mans brain, but a man nonetheless. Some of it also could be due to the female hormones going round their body, whether we like to admit or not that will have some effect. That is probably why I for example am so much more sensitive than most men, even other really sensitive men I'm more sensitive than them often and I do put that down to the female hormones that are sadly poisoning my body!

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

I'm saying regardless of how manly or camp (feminine man) someone is, another person can not say to someone "You are not a man because you are too camp" well they can say it, but it doesn't mean it's true. It doesn't define you.

I don't like saying feminine man because I don't believe there is such a thing. I think camp is what people see as feminine but it's VERY different actually to how many girls act. Now I know that there are the stereotypes and that women love camp men because they can go shopping with them (some of them not all of them). But actually that man even though camp and maybe does the same squeals as a girl is a man. I don't know fully how to explain in words how there is a difference from a glance you could almost think maybe they are acting exactly the same way. But if you really take notice you'll notice some differences, maybe subtle differences. But there are differences. I just don't know how to explain what I mean. I think some FTM men are the perfect example of that, some may be somewhat 'feminine' or camp yet they feel trapped in the wrong body. Because they're minds are still male, a feminine or camp mans brain, but a man nonetheless. Some of it also could be due to the female hormones going round their body, whether we like to admit or not that will have some effect. That is probably why I for example am so much more sensitive than most men, even other really sensitive men I'm more sensitive than them often and I do put that down to the female hormones that are sadly poisoning my body!

Ah that is a good way to put it and I like it!! I dislike the term feminine too I think that I have mentioned that before

I think that I would be this way even if I was born as a bio male I love it (er sometimes and depending on the level it's at).

Hehe the girls do love it don't they!!! Gotta love em And I *love* shopping soooooooooooo yeah hehe Shopping is sooooooo much fun hehe

I am in a really giddy mood and I lost track of what I was going to say... I even re read what you wrote and I still can't remember >.<

[Flint]

Ah that is a good way to put it and I like it!! I dislike the term feminine too I think that I have mentioned that before

I think that I would be this way even if I was born as a bio male I love it (er sometimes and depending on the level it's at).

Hehe the girls do love it don't they!!! Gotta love em And I *love* shopping soooooooooooo yeah hehe Shopping is sooooooo much fun hehe

I am in a really giddy mood and I lost track of what I was going to say... I even re read what you wrote and I still can't remember >.<

No Lee, thats just called old age. you'll be forgetting a lot of things from now on....

Kidding.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

No Lee, thats just called old age. you'll be forgetting a lot of things from now on....

Kidding.

I can't help it if I am 57

I always forget things... I go off track and poof it's gone...

[Guest My_Genesis]

What do they look for?

And can they get rid of everything? I heard from somewhere that you can still get cancer (possibly) after getting a hysto....?

Yeah, they can get rid of everything. There wouldn't be a risk of cancer in your female organs if you remove all of them... obviously, cuz then there's nothing there that can get cancer. lol.

Here's some info about hystos:

http://www.ftmguide.org/hysto.html

I dunno what they look for, I've just heard that you have to get examined first. Maybe someone here who's had it done can give us more info.

About the sensitivity thing... yeah, it's all about using it to your advantage. It's not necessarily a bad thing. And maybe it will give you an advantage with girls (or guys, if you prefer.)

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

Yeah, they can get rid of everything. There wouldn't be a risk of cancer in your female organs if you remove all of them... obviously, cuz then there's nothing there that can get cancer. lol.

Here's some info about hystos:

http://www.ftmguide.org/hysto.html

I dunno what they look for, I've just heard that you have to get examined first. Maybe someone here who's had it done can give us more info.

About the sensitivity thing... yeah, it's all about using it to your advantage. It's not necessarily a bad thing. And maybe it will give you an advantage with girls (or guys, if you prefer.)

I will read up on that I already have it waiting for me in another tab I want to get one one day. I want to have a child first (one of the few FtMs that I know of (hehe) that want to do it themselves).

Er or both

But maybe I should become asexual Always fall for the wrong people

[Guest karl636]

I am having a rough time with gender stuff lately. I was in college (school for the US folk) and this one girl came up to me and asked if I was a girl, I just mumbled I was a boy and walked away, trying to hold the tears back.

My dad now is trying to encourage me to out myself as trans to my taekwondo instructor. He feels that because I was born a girl, I will somehow be at a disadvantage against other guys. Well im stealth and my instructor who is a 4th degree black belt doesn't seem to think so.

I just hate the reminders that im trans and not a cis guy with proper equipment and it really makes me want to just give up

[Guest My_Genesis]

I just hate the reminders that im trans and not a cis guy with proper equipment and it really makes me want to just give up

I know exactly what you mean.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

I am having a rough time with gender stuff lately. I was in college (school for the US folk) and this one girl came up to me and asked if I was a girl, I just mumbled I was a boy and walked away, trying to hold the tears back.

My dad now is trying to encourage me to out myself as trans to my taekwondo instructor. He feels that because I was born a girl, I will somehow be at a disadvantage against other guys. Well im stealth and my instructor who is a 4th degree black belt doesn't seem to think so.

I just hate the reminders that im trans and not a cis guy with proper equipment and it really makes me want to just give up

Don't give up. Things will get better One day the surgeries will be better and then it will be just the same as have been born a cis guy

Don't give in to your dad. Be who you are and don't let him define you

*hugs*

[Guest My_Genesis]

Don't give up. Things will get better One day the surgeries will be better and then it will be just the same as have been born a cis guy

god I hope you're right.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

god I hope you're right.

Since when did I become god?

You just got to believe

[Guest My_Genesis]

Since when did I become god?

You just got to believe

lol. since i want you to be right.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

lol. since i want you to be right.

I don't mind I guess then

[Guest karl636]

You know this is the first time I have voiced my desire to not wanting to be trans and not be met by activists telling me I should be proud of who I am. I am proud of who I am, but im not proud of this condition I was born with that I have no control over.

[Remus]

You know this is the first time I have voiced my desire to not wanting to be trans and not be met by activists telling me I should be proud of who I am. I am proud of who I am, but im not proud of this condition I was born with that I have no control over.

Ugh, same! It's not that I'm ashamed to be me, or that I'm necessarily ashamed or embarassed of being trans - it's just that I hate being non-cis! I hate knowing that no matter what I do, there will always be that sense of not being biologically male... Yes, I'm glad I had the childhood I did, I think I had a lot of opportunities that cisguys might have missed out on through peer pressure or whatever, but I still hate the idea of having to work my arse off and go through hell just to be the man I am, and having to admit I'm trans in the first place. If that makes sense.

[Guest Pól]

I think there's a fundamental divide like between the LGB's and us. When you're LGB, you come out as ___, and then you're pretty much done, as long as you're alright with it yourself. You date who you want to date, etc. You're not asking anyone to use a different name or different pronoun. You're not transitioning. Yes there's some issues with legal rights and the like (but they've actually more legal rights in most countries than we have and blame us for wanting the same), but for the most part, their path is a lot shorter.

For us, we not only have to jump through legal hoops, but medical ones. Furthermore, for many of us, these hoops cost a lot of money, which is an obstacle that the LGB's have no need to deal with at all. Like you all have said, it's not that we're not proud of who we are. It's more like, one, I don't need to share that pride with everyone I've ever met and two, being accepted for who I am (as a man) is more important than being proud of being trans and confusing the bejasus out of people. When people know you're trans, I think they're more likely to find your gender identity confusing, and thus more likely to relate to you incorrectly. In other words, it's more important to me that I'm treated as a man (that my gender identity is affirmed) than it is to have people know I'm trans. For the average person, I think you really can't have both. Sure, there's the odd person out there who can know that I'm trans and still treat me as the man I am, but it's not the norm.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't work with the LGB people, because I think we should, but that at the moment, a vast majority of LGB activists don't have a conception of how much more difficult things are for us and/or blame us for 'holding back the movement,' which is bollocks. If they want to say they're representing LGBT, and they want us to be a part of the movement, then in fairness like, it is completely reasonable for us to expect that our rights are being advocated for equally within the movement.

[Guest My_Genesis]

You know this is the first time I have voiced my desire to not wanting to be trans and not be met by activists telling me I should be proud of who I am. I am proud of who I am, but im not proud of this condition I was born with that I have no control over.

Ugh, same! It's not that I'm ashamed to be me, or that I'm necessarily ashamed or embarassed of being trans - it's just that I hate being non-cis! I hate knowing that no matter what I do, there will always be that sense of not being biologically male... Yes, I'm glad I had the childhood I did, I think I had a lot of opportunities that cisguys might have missed out on through peer pressure or whatever, but I still hate the idea of having to work my arse off and go through hell just to be the man I am, and having to admit I'm trans in the first place. If that makes sense.

I think there's a fundamental divide like between the LGB's and us. When you're LGB, you come out as ___, and then you're pretty much done, as long as you're alright with it yourself. You date who you want to date, etc. You're not asking anyone to use a different name or different pronoun. You're not transitioning. Yes there's some issues with legal rights and the like (but they've actually more legal rights in most countries than we have and blame us for wanting the same), but for the most part, their path is a lot shorter.

For us, we not only have to jump through legal hoops, but medical ones. Furthermore, for many of us, these hoops cost a lot of money, which is an obstacle that the LGB's have no need to deal with at all. Like you all have said, it's not that we're not proud of who we are. It's more like, one, I don't need to share that pride with everyone I've ever met and two, being accepted for who I am (as a man) is more important than being proud of being trans and confusing the bejasus out of people. When people know you're trans, I think they're more likely to find your gender identity confusing, and thus more likely to relate to you incorrectly. In other words, it's more important to me that I'm treated as a man (that my gender identity is affirmed) than it is to have people know I'm trans. For the average person, I think you really can't have both. Sure, there's the odd person out there who can know that I'm trans and still treat me as the man I am, but it's not the norm.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't work with the LGB people, because I think we should, but that at the moment, a vast majority of LGB activists don't have a conception of how much more difficult things are for us and/or blame us for 'holding back the movement,' which is bollocks. If they want to say they're representing LGBT, and they want us to be a part of the movement, then in fairness like, it is completely reasonable for us to expect that our rights are being advocated for equally within the movement.

Amen to all of this.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

I think that the majority of trans folks don't like the fact that they are trans and would rather pass all the time and not have anyone know.

I am mixed about it. I will go from not wanting anyone to know to being like hey we do exist in places you don't expect!! I am just odd sometimes.

Although anyone that knows what F2M is knows about me if they see my tattoo so...

[Guest My_Genesis]

I think that the majority of trans folks don't like the fact that they are trans and would rather pass all the time and not have anyone know.

I am mixed about it. I will go from not wanting anyone to know to being like hey we do exist in places you don't expect!! I am just odd sometimes.

Although anyone that knows what F2M is knows about me if they see my tattoo so...

I see it as a case-by-case thing. I am not gonna broadcast it to the whole world but obviously if I become friends with someone (being that I'm going to be starting at a new school as male and will have the option of being stealth), or start dating someone, I would tell them. But if it's someone I only know online (like this girl from YouTube I'm friends with on Facebook) or someone who's just an acquaintance from school or whatever that I am not exactly friends with, I don't see the need to say anything. I don't want being trans to define who I am, it's just kinda another thing about me. Which I'm sure a lot of gay people say as well but as Pól is saying, the whole "pride" thing... no.

[Guest karl636]

From my own opinion, I don't see sexuality or gender identity things to be proud of. They are just parts of you like eye colour and height. Aspects of you that you have no control over. I am bisexual (pansexual) and although I don't hide this fact when people ask, I don't shout about it either. I am not a closet case but im not a raging queer who will shout about it and flaunt it to everyone I meet.

I guess I have always one to be more discrete about who I am and not someone who wants everyone to know.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

as Pól is saying, the whole "pride" thing... no.

I think that we can all have our own way to have Pride. It doesn't have to be public.

Yea I know some of us don't have pride in it because it's not something they like or what ever.

I have never been in a Trans Pride March, only the one that the Queer Center I go to and that was the whole GLBTTQQICDA one. Where everyone is seen not just trans. I don't think that I would ever do just a Trans one

[Flint]

I'm not proud of being trans.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

I'm not proud of being trans.

*hugs*

Not all of us are.

[Flint]

I'm proud of being a man though.

[Guest Lee-Asher Geo-James]

I'm proud of being a man though.

Good

If you weren't I would worry :P