Your Opinion

[Guest ~Tessa~]

Hi there,

After posting to say hello and after a really busy period I finally decided to post again.

Since I’m quite confused and can’t seem to find an answer myself, I’m going to ask your opinions on this matter.

First of all I’m pretty sure I like cross-dressing, but I don’t get a lot of sexual excitement out of it (and the bit of I get out of it, I kind of find annoying). When I cross-dress it’s mostly for a short period of time and I just get happy/frustrated if I see a feminine/manly version of myself.

Furthermore I’ve been experiencing autogynephilia since puberty. (I know it’s a term that’s disliked by a lot of trans-people but I’m trying to keep this short and not overly complicated.)

I’ve also noticed that my mental femininity comes and goes in waves. During a few weeks I’m girly in my mind and that gradually makes place for a more manly mental state. This manly state usually rapidly makes place for a more frustrated version of myself which slowly builds up to my more feminine self. And then the cycle repeats itself.

During the last few years I’ve been thinking this over and I think I’ve more or less know what I want, but it varies depending on the lovely cycle above. So far my conclusion is, is that I wouldn’t mind swapping this Chewbacca (hairy *YUK*) body of mine for a feminine body, although I don’t really dislike my body except for the excessive amount of hair on it. But my social standing in the world probably wouldn’t change a lot and this is where the problem lies. I don’t really have a typical girly personality, it’s more like I’m in a neutral mode. By which I mean that I don’t like to talk about a lot of stuff girls like and I don’t like to do a lot of stuff girls like (Although this might change if I transition?). But I’m far from a macho to, so again I’m kind of in the middle.

Also I’ve taken a few online gender tests (BBC SexID and Cogiati) and they both place me kind of in the middle. According to the BBC SexID I have a more neutral/slightly feminine mind and according to the cogiati I’m androgynous. These tests are of course far from 100% correct, but they do give more or less the same results in my case.

And finally I’ve been reading a bit on the internet and I’ve noticed that LQBT-people have a different finger ratio from straight people. After measuring my fingers and calculating my 2D:4D finger ratio (thanks to that BBC SexID test) I’ve noticed that a have a finger ratio of about 1.02, which is (according to the test) more to the female side.

So where do you think I belong (if you’re willing to label it). Am I a cross-dresser or transgendered or…?

Btw: thanks for going through the effort of reading this and giving your opinion.

Btw²: I know I should see a gender therapist, but it’s not really a good time due to a lot of stress on the family (mostly my parents).

Btw³: Sorry if a made some strange sentences, but English isn’t my first language.

[Guest Donna Jean]

First off, your English is flawless....wonderful...

Now....Trying to figure out where anyone is on the gender spectrum is almost impossible...

You see...other people can't tell you...it's something that comes from within...

Now, there are some commonalities...like the finger ratio, the COGATI is mostly for fun..

I took it once and saw the type of stereotypical gender answers that were using...so, armed with that, I took it again...Had me as natal female...lol.

Do know that most MTF's cross dressed throughout their lives, but all cross dressers aren't MTF....

So, I think that you need some answers from within that a gender therapist can help you find..

I know that you said that's not a possibility right now...But, I think that you should explore that as soon as you can...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Yes, I have to agree with Donna Jean, hon. No one can diagnose you or tell you where you fall along the gender spectrum just from what you've told us. Even a G.T. wouldn't be able to tell you until after many sessions, and then the answer still will come from you,

not from him/her.

I don't believe in boxes, people don't fit in neat boxes. We're way too complicated. So don't worry about what you are, just try to be yourself, and be happy. Figure out the rest when you can, and when you need to. We'll be around to help all we can.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest ~Tessa~]

Thanks for the advice.

I’ll try to get in contact with a gender therapist, which is for the best since I can’t figure it out myself.

But it may take a while before I really see a gender therapist. So I’ll have lot of spare time to think about this.

And about those commonalities, I only could find the one about the finger ratio. So if anyone knows some other examples, please do share them.

Also if anyone really felt the need to post there advise or personal story or something that might help me or someone else who reads this topic please don’t hesitate to post (hopefully a lot ).

Anyway thanks again for the advice I really do appreciate it a lot!!

Btw keep up the good work and congratz on the new layout of the forums it really looks great!!!

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hon - all that analysis and testing is fun! BUT like everyone says, you have to find out the truth - and that will be through a gender trained therapist.

GRIN - just wait until that gets resolved!

Lizzy

[Sally]

The truth lies within you and only you can unlock that secret - a gender therapist only helps you to find the key - it is in your brain from birth and before - pre-programmed into your emotions waiting for you to unlock the chains and throw the doors wide open and at that moment you will KNOW - there won't be a sort of , this might be it moment - there wasn't for me - it was a this is what I have been searching for my entire life - tremendous relief - weight of the world off of my shoulders moment.

And that moment may be discovering a number of different destinations - all of us do not go on the same path or to the same place.

You will know when the time has come - it is different for everyone but you will know.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ~Tessa~]

I’m glad that I’ll probably be able to figure this out, although it won’t be as soon as I hope . Also I’m also thinking about how I’ll be able to get in contact with a gender therapist. But I’ll soon have lots of time on my hands in the summer, so I’ll have plenty of time to think about that.

Anyway thanks again for the help and sorry for the late response but I’m kind of busy with the exams